Why do married couples have alternative type relationship, like open marriage, swinging, etc?

ty is right, different things can work for different couples but only if both parties are ok with it

Because they are “itching” to get and transmit one ore more of the over 55 STD’s! Think of the excitement!… “I WIN! I have 21 STD’s and you only have 7!”

The same person over and over agin is probably boring, but yet they dont want to leave eachother because having to support themselves without someone there to lean on and go through it with is not something they want to do?

Very true, I don’t think that is quit the reason, I think a STD competition would suck, and have very bad rewards.

So there marriage is only that of convenience, kinda like having your cake and eating it to.

Smart answer. I worked with teen girls in a group home setting and at one point they all had one or more STD’s and one was sterile from the treatment for one.

Because love is infinite.

Well I am very glad to never of had one of these STDs and this is what I want to try to protect my boys from.

I think its because no one has any morals or self respect and no one really want to be serious any more.If they have this life style then they dont have to anwerser to anyone and they can do what they want.

ok but you can’t compare teen girls who obviously dont have a stable environment and tend to engage in risky behaviors with mature adults who responsibly engaging in open relationships. On a personal level I do not get it and it makes no sense to me, but lets not condemn others who are engaging in behaviors that dont exactly hurt anyone else…

I’d love to answer this since me and my partner are in fact swingers and alot of people dont quite understand it. To get one thing straight, we love each other, we respect each other, and our relationship together is solid. We view sex in a different sense than other people though. We dont believe that sex must equal love, and we also dont believe that it has to only be between two people who love each other. Its a physical act for pleasure and can have no emotion behind it when you dont know the person on that level. We dont cheat on each other, we dont lie to each other, and nothing is done without the other person there and consenting. I realize that alot of people dont agree with this type of relationship but quite honestly - who cares. Its our relationship and what works for us…not yours. Our home is filled with love and respect and i couldnt imagine loving another person the way i love chris. We just share the physical and never get emotions involved with other people.

Well that is a very good explanation of swinging, and ty. From what I have read on the differences between men and women, women are more likely to form the emotional bond with others, and has this ever been a problem for you, also jealous what happens when it rears its ugly head, and how would you make it through this.

For some, yeah. Mandyloo is clearly n exception of that, though.

Sorry, i cant commen under things from my cellphone. Jealousy is an issue that comes up in every relationship atleast a time or two, not just open relationships. However, the more secure you are with your relationship together and with yourself, jealousy isnt an issue. Like i said, nothing is done without each other present and consenting so jealousy isnt an issue. My partner is always with me and participating, we dont leave each other out and it doesnt make us jealous to see each other with another person, thats why it works for us. If the situation came up, we would work and deal with it just like any other couple. To answer your other question, while yes, women tend to form emotional bonds quicker than men through sex, its not that way for every woman and its quite different when your not with another man alone. Sex doesnt equal love for me. My heart belongs to chris.

thats a wrong thing to say! i know a couple who r also swingers and its nothing like that for them! sex is an activity not something they use to show their loce for eachother and i know for a fact neither of them have ever had std’s and gemma goes for monthly screenings so its steriotyping saying that and i dong agree with it at all!

Well I would have to say that me and my wife, while we are not swingers, we do enjoy going to swing clubs. The company is better, they are more social, I don’t have every guy that walks by hitting on my wife, and we can be ourselves. Me and my wife are into voyeurism, and taunted with the ideal of swinging, but never went forth with it. We are very happy, and it has not compromised our relationship any.

Ty, agreed but it is a very risky practice. Unless one gets tested every year for STD etc, but do all swingers do that? Can the couple who are partaking in the act of swinging, know if the other stranger they are engaging in sex is disease free? It happens in the p-rn industry even with pretty tight regulations (pardon the pun).

You are very right, there is no way for them to know this, but also you can look at it from there views. If there partner is cheating and then bring one of these gifts home to them, even though both of them where not engaged in the risky active, they both get to share the disease.

Yes agreed, but having said that, not everyone who is in a relationship cheats. A person who does cheats tends to have it out with the same person for a lengthy period of time. Swingers swap partners on a regular basis, hence the “it is only sex with a stranger, hence no emotions strings are attached”. I applause those who can swap partners without any thoughts to things going wrong, but it is certainly not something I would even think about doing. Sex is important in a relationship but having sexual intercourse I think is very intimate and personal. Sex brings a couple closer together.

My husband and I are polyamorous - not really swingers - and for us it is about experiencing the limits of love. We sometimes have issues of jealousy, but we aren’t possessive by nature. We love each other very much and we enjoy sharing that love with others. He’s straight, I don’t care about gender either way…. but for poly folks, we don’t limit ourselves to “just sex” with others. We strive to experience deep emotional relationships with as many people as we can, though we all know how difficult relationships can be, so you’ll understand that “as many people as we can” is not very many people.

Our ideal relationship is actually one that involves (at least) 4 adults, all living together in a shared household…. but we haven’t made the right match just yet.

I would say this is more true of people who cheat than swingers. This definitely isn’t the case for poly couples and families.

i don’t know but marriage is about commiting yourself to ONE person otherwise dont get married! you vow to be with that one person through thick and thin

Swinging is something I would not be able to do. For me sex would be a very intimate thing that I could only share with the person I love. I’ve been in a relationship for two years and haven’t had sex yet for myown reasons. But when we do, for us, it would be intimate and a physical way of expressing our love. However, with that one partner Id be willing to try everything, as long as it is between us two.

Swinging is for playgrounds. It is pure selfish getmyrocksoff because my partner is not meeting one or more of my needs. Getting ‘tested” means very little. HIV/AIDS can remain dormant for over 10 years. People talk about being tested like it is a condom. Both fail more than you care to know. Married swingers is an oxymoron and society suffers and the children of these unpaid whores are the victims.

Actually, marriage is about money. Did you know that the only reason you have to buy a marriage license in the US is because back in the day when interracial marriage stopped being illegal, couples from different racial backgrounds had to buy license. Everyone else just had a nice little ceremony in their church and signed a book and all was well.

Since then, the government has realized that they can make a lot more money if EVERYONE had to pay a fee to have their relationship recognized.

If marriage is, for you, about committing yourself to one person and one person only, good for you…. but it’s not really your place to judge the relationships of others.

This is a completely false assumption. My husband and I are completed committed to each other and we ALWAYS answer to each other first - we have limits and boundaries and unless we decide to “marry” another individual or couple, that will always be the case.

Our marriage means that we work towards the good of our relationships above the good of one individual. It is certainly NOT about “doing whatever we want”. A polyamorous relationship is the most challenging kind of relationship I’ve ever been in, but it has made us BOTH better, more open, honest, communicative and loving people.

Actually, the highest incident of STDs these days is among serial-monogamist middle aged divorcees and widowers, who apparently don’t realize that they need to use condoms when they start playing the field again. SCARY!

I think your right msm! people just want to do whatevers fun. people my age and younger are totally lost, i feel sorry for them

Sorry, the guy who’s username is “loner4life” feels sorry for people who are out having a great time being in love and having awesome sex? LOL

Well on this I know that most swingers are middle age, not young people as long4life says, From what I have seen most alternative relationships are middle class people, from teachers and IT professionals to doctors and CEOs.

;D;D

This is true - when we visit clubs for swingers and poly folks, we are usually on the young end of the spectrum at 28 and 32 years old….

obviously their bored with their sex lives

because they dont love each other