Wow, this is a hard one...loosing love to su!cide is the hardest thing you can go through other then loosing your own family member to any sort of cause! You have my deepest sympathy here as well as all of our warmest condolences on this very delicate issue at hand.
With that said, all the advice in the world that you will receive on here or anywhere else wont change what happened nor will it bring him back unfortunately...(that is not meant to be insensitive god forbid, it's just a stated fact, like a wake up call here to help you understand that you have to face reality no matter how hard & no matter what obstacle you have to face to get through it!)
You can seek professional counseling who can suggest group therapy for this sort of situation and try to cope with the help of others that are going through the exact pain or something close to it and they will hold your hand or offer you their shoulder to cry on, but again, only you can make the transformation of allowing yourself to love him but let him rest in peace knowing that you dont spend the rest of your life mourning his death! This isnt an easy task & of course will take a huge amount of time...but you can not allow it to consume you!
Loosing someone is your life period, separating form them or loosing them to death is a really hard empty cold emotional feeling that leaves you angry at first for leaving you...then pain for knowing you will never see them again in this lifetime asking yourself how in god's name you are going to get through this...til you have no more tears left & become numb all together...it's all the signs of grieving, and that is what you need to do for as long as you need to do it...but dont dedicate the rest of your life doing just that! 2 of my cousins were supposed to get married both had all the arrangements done, the invitations out the dresses & hall ...right before they were supposed to get married both cases had their fiance's killed in an accident...They both took it very hard...like as if it was a sign from god that they were destined to be miserable & alone for ever...At first cooping with it is the hardest thing to do...trying to stop loving them is something you can never do because somewhere in your heard, in your mind as you put it...you remember the little things...like the smell of the blistex chap stick they wore...the smell of their shampoo...the way they looked in a certain shirt...or the chuckle in their laugh....(wow, I just got all emotional & have tears in my eyes...)memories my dear are the hardest thing to escape...especially when you are at home, laying on your bed...it's like a really bad movie that keeps playing you flashbacks of how he looked at you right before you kissed...or how he bathed you in the shower...and you have this aching pitt in the middle of your throat trying not to cry but cant help the tears...you grab for the first thing you see like a teddy bear...(same thing with me) my god I know that feeling all too well...a lot of us do for that matter...but here is the bright side...a few years after that both of my cousins were able to overcome their losses...and allowed themselves to love again...they both got married & have kids...and live a happy & prosperous life...and so can you if you truly want to! Give it time, be patient...do what ever it takes...and never forget him...keep him locked up in a safe place in your heart...but allow him to see you happy again someday! For now...lean on us...lean on friends...even family members for support...go to his grave if you feel the need to talk to him...tell him what you feel...tell him all the things you would have said to him if he were still alive...it's important to get closure...not now...when you are ready to confront his grave...dont go alone...but speak to him alone...and when you are done...wash your hands...for it is said then when you wash your hands after visiting a grave sight it's like you are letting them rest in peace...knowing that you can & will survive!(may be true or a tale, but it is what we do when visiting a grave sight!)
Hope this helped a little...big hug to ya Kay I have faith in you, you will be just fine! if you want to talk you can always funmail me at anytime and I will do my best to help you out!
My father died about 4 years ago . honestly i wouldnt say it gets easier but you learn to cope with it . you have to remember all the times they were alive and and how great he or she was . i talk to my dad all the time , no obviously he doesnt talk back but i feel closer to him . sometimes i just try to think he's on a long vacation . its okay to cry , crying actaully helps , it still makes me sad to think about him and when i try to think about the good times sometimes i cry , but you get stronger . everyone copes with it differently . but it helps to be by yourself sometimes . and just remember no matter what heor she is still in your heart and watching over you im sorry for your loss . but try to remember everything happens for a reason your not gonna beileve that now but in time you will .. <3 krystal
I always try to find something that makes me laugh no matter what. And I don't try to not think about it. I simply live my life and give myself time to greive over what I lost without letting it take over me. Johnny Depp and Batman have always been my anti-drug. If I'm having an especially bad day, like if I can't get him off my mind no matter what, usually if I sit down and watch a Johnny Depp movie or the Dark Knight with some Nilla Wafers I always feel better. Find a safe place to go to heal, and don't rush. That's what I do :)
Think about him all you want. You shouldn't suppress your emotions. Give yourself time, cry, write in a journal if you want to, write letters to him if you want to etc.
And talk to someone, a friend, family member, counselor. Someone that will listen to you.
And the give yourself some more time. It's only been a few months. It's gong to take longer than just a few months to get past this stage of feeling so terrible. Don't let anyone rush you.
Trust me. One of my close friends killed herself she was like my sister I still hav a shirt nd a few pics she gave me. It took a while to get through her dieing. But unfortunatly nd it hurts to say it but u need to move on nd try ur hardest to pull through. It feels awful to say it but unfortunatly it's true. When my friend died she was wearing a necklace I got her nd when I see tht kind of necklace I cry. It's hard but I'm sure u can get through
It's normal to go through mourning - you need to mourn so that you can accept it. However, now you need to start trying to find some sort of mechanism to help you cope...you can't walk around in this depression forever. Use your friends and family for support...let them help you move on to new things...it's time. I know this is easier said than done but, don't cry because he's gone - smile because you had the privilege of knowing him.
Omg, that's so sad, I wouldn't know what 2 do iether. I don't think u can ever truly get over something like that. And there's no advice anyone can give u 2 change it. But if whatever u two shared was real, then neither time nor death can erase it. Yes u will cry when u remmember his death, but smile when u remmember his life. And death is not the end, ull find each other again. 4 now live
It's rly rly rly hard trust me. But u have to unfortunatly try not to think bout the person. Take it from someone who's experienced great loss. It's hard nd even harder to forget but if u hav to stop thinkin bout them u hav to. Other wise ur hurting urself by holdin on to the past. Stay with friends nd family so ur not alone nd they can help keep ur mind off it
i believe its really hard my boyfriend killed himself on may 29 and i still cry myself to sleep and sleep with the bears he gave me its hard not to think of him the littlest thing such as blistex chapstick remind me of him and i just cry, i hang out with friends and family a lot and nothing is working im at the point where i dont know what i should do anymore
But the thing is. Nd I'm not trying to be mean u have my full sympathy for ur loss. But u unfortunatly hav to do ur best to let go nd try to find love again. Think how he would feel if he saw u crying. If it was love he wouldn't want to see u cry. It's extremely hard trust me. But I'm sure u can do it even tho it'll be the hardest thing in ur life
i believe you 100%.. its just doing it is the hard part i feel like everytime i try i fall on my ass again.. if i tlk to a guy in more than a friend way i feel wrong and then i just completely take two steps back when i was one foward
I no what u mean. But u hav to do whatever it takes to try to forget. I'm still attached to my friend. She died last year nd I think bout her everyday. It's hard to stop thinkin bout someone u loved
okay it is hard it dosent get easyer you just learn to deal with it, and you must remember you still have the rest of your life do you think he would want you going throu it all depressed and sad?
Talking to someone you trust could help a lot. But if thats too hard concelling can help a ton. And time can help you heal sometimes.
thanks i know i need to its just the hardest thing to do, i dont wanna let go.. we were going to get married, it was true love =(
im not through it yet so id love to know