Why do we go campaign anyway? To get away from work. To find our place in nature. To have somewhere to take that hot girl you've been having your eyes on. But often times we go to the camping gear shop and try to find everything we can find to insulate us from mosquitoes, bears, mountain lions, ants, the weather, nights and everything nature has to throw at us. Here is a little list of some of the weirder things that people buy on their way camping.
The home away from home that can sometimes hold up to 10 people. Comes with mosquito netting all around, floor, zippered door and everything else. The camping screen house is perfect for the group who wants to be out in nature, but not be out in nature. Good to play that guitar, or sit around a proper table to have a group dinner. It's almost like you never left home!
Yes, there is a product called the Super Kimbos. You find ourself around the bushes near to the poison ivy and its night and you're about to moon the moon... Why? Imagine a pair of shorts with a zipper from back to front that expands out... no i don't want to imagine, but they have them dear reader and you can get them. Next time you go camping save your butt cheeks from mosquitos, poison ivy and the open air.
Ok, this one is not so crazy as I first thought, but still, we are supposed to be sitting on the ground or sleep in a sleeping bag with pebbles under our back and in our hiking boots, right? Nope, you can sneak one of these in the bottom of your rucksack. Remember rucksacks? Nowadays we just call them backpacks.
What do tennis balls have to do with camping anyway? It's a ball. Its light. It can fit into your rucksack -- u'mmm i mean backpack and you can throw it to distract bears or mountain lions if you never get around to playing catch. Short of bringing a full fledged tennis ball machine, each of you can bring one ball.
Back in the distant day, we had to bring matches, or even further back, we used to rub sticks together to make a fire. Now there are all kinds of newfangled gadgets to help us start a fire with no effort.
So in comes the Flash Torch, a flashlight made with a laser. Just point it at some paper or some twigs to start a fire.
Oh, and in case you didn't know? Twigs are just tiny dry parts of trees that the leaves attach to. Remember that for one day.
Alright. I said it. And I still can't believe it. Perfect for your trip to the bushes wearing your Super Kimbo.
If you have trouble finding your way back to camp, just drop squares of paper as you find the perfect spot to squat. And if you're eaten by bears your friends can find your carcass by following the trails. SMH.
Going camping should be a wholesome activity with the minimum of gear. People from the old days used to just have a blanket they spread on the ground and sleep around a fire. Can we go back to doing that?
Nah! It's more fun to have all the gear that we'll never use.