A question about mothers...

I think parenting doesn’t come with a manual…and as parents, we do the best with what we can at the time, and what we know. I don’t agree with the way your mums being, but perhaps she knows no different. that’s not an excuse, but a lot of the time, as parents we go by what we were brought up with. there’s a whole generation of parents who think ‘well it didn’t do me any harm’ because it’s easier to do what’s natural, than to do something different… kids forget that parents have ‘other stuff’ going on, and sometimes it helps to tell your kids if there’s a problem, what’s bothering them or even ask them what they think. children (no matter what age) have some knowledge, and generally, that knowledge is untainted and without baggage, and sometimes the simplest answer is the best one, it’s just ‘can we do it?’ have you ever spoken to your mum about it? psychic ability is not in the job criteria, so unless you TELL her somethings upsetting you, she’s unlikely to know. just pull her aside one day when she’s in a good mood, hasn’t got too much on at the time and she may be more wiling to listen. just say that you want to know what you’re doing wrong and if there’s anything you can do to improve the homelife. normally the mum SHOULD reassure you that you’re fine, it’s just chores etc that her bugging her…but try and find out what the problem is…

maybe she’s not aware that she’s like it… if she doesn’t react well, or has a go, then I would stand back. just try not to give her any cause to ‘have a go’ and make a mental note to study really hard, and get a good job so you can be independent…

but when she’s angry or swearing, I would just keep a low profile…

remember, if she tries to blame you, people DON’T make you angry, you let them…

I know my mother loves me more than anything else, and she also says mean and hurtful things. Sometimes it’s not even that she’s angry, she just thinks she’s being helpful… It has taken a long time (and living a few thousand miles away helps) for me to realize she isnt going to change. She is the way she is, and there’s not much I can do about that. It’s hard to ignore the things she says, but at the end of the day just because she says something doesn’t mean it’s true… And you just have to remind yourself of that fact… Also, try talking calmly to her if she starts calling you names. I know things are usually heated at this point, but just ask her why she needs to call you names.

my moms the same way. shes an alcoholic and doesnt want help. and she always shouts at me. cusses. tells me to move out. says mean things. and its hard.

you just have to learn to deal. and know its all not true. sometimes I just yell back.

thanks. I feel a little bit better. it just reminds me and makes me learn. it shows me what not to be when and if I ever have kids. ha kinda harsh but true.

aha thats exactly the way I think. im never going to be like that. ever. it makes me a better person. because I know what not to do. and why I shouldnt.

Yeah. Many people are hurt this way. I know I was.

It’s sad really,

my mum loves me but can be mean

I totally no how you feel my momis OCD about everything she cusses me out all the time I cry mysel to slep most nites