"Deformed" covers an awfully wide range. Some deformities impose severe limitations on everyone involved, while others are in the eye of the beholder. Is left-handedness a deformity? Facial features of the wrong shape? An extra toe? Genitalia of indeterminate gender? A line has to be drawn somewhere; not necessarily legal, but ethical.
I hope people with reasonable concerns about the severe hardships some deformities entail have a concern, too, for the deprivations of life that can result from being overly fixated on even the least debilitating abnormalities. Many of us are quite happy with (or despite, or about) our particular "abnormality," whatever it may be.
For example, children with Down's syndrome may take a bit more care than others, but not to the degree that it takes over the parents' or family's life, and those children can grow to have very happy and fulfilling lives, meaningful for themselves and for those around them.
For myself, I would hope to live up to Colleen's standard (though I think of it in terms of Providence rather than karma). For others, I think it's important that the legal and moral right to terminate a pregnancy (which I fully support) doesn't become a kind of eugenics, leading us to overindulge our "perfect baby" fantasies, or to narrow our vision of what is acceptably human and worthy of some sacrifice (which parenting always involves).
I would without thinking twice. I have a disabled brother, so I know what it is like to have to constantly care for someone. It is very difficult, but besides that, the future is very worrisome. My mother has always been faced with the fact that she will some day leave him behind after her death. If she had never given birth to me, he would have nobody and would become a ward of the sate. I have no room for blind optimism and the "there is a chance everything will be okay" attitude. The fact of the matter is that so many people have no idea the amount of time energy and dedication that goes into caring for many special needs people. It can be stressful and heartbreaking. I don't care if people call me selfish. Most of those people have not been in my position.
As I view things, karma and fate will do what is needed. If the fetus didn't die in utero, then I should let it live ... all life is precious. It's not my right to take the life of any living thing ... perhaps the child would grow up with difficulties, and perhaps I would have a challenging time trying to raise the child, but that is my karma ... that is the child's karma ... we need to accept our punishments for things we have done in a previous life. I understand this sounds like crazy talk to most people, but it is the Buddhist way ... karma decides all. I don't pass judgement on those who choose to abort ... that is their choice.
No I wouldn't. what would the deformity be? And the doctors wouldn't know the severity until he was born. And you don't know for a fact that it would be hell for them. My mom works with the mentally disabled and she puts them on the phone to talk to me and they are always happy, even though they seem like they are in their own world, they are always happy when i see them. If you would do it, it would be cause of your selfesh choice to not want to do the extra hard work to help them and take care of them, and that's just wrong. They deserve a chance to live and experience the world just like everyone else.
That's a tough question. I had a natural ab0rtion with a deformed fetus some years ago. It just died inside me, and I only learned that the baby was deformed after I had that miscarriage.
I've been pondering about this ever since. What would I have done if the baby had lived and the doctors had told me that the child will be deformed. I still don't know, but I am glad I never had to make that decision.
yes undoubtedly, will go for it. i am a mother of a symbrachydactyly(absence of hand fingers) child,though it is a small defect i am not able to bear it. actually thinking about her future im becoming panic.people may say no dont do it but at the end we have to take care about the baby it will become our life time punishment
Reading this, Chartreuse, I feel the same impulse as when I meet people who have returned from military combat, or who have acted as first responders in a dangerous crisis, to say as sincerely as I can (though I know the gesture is inadequate), Thank you for your service. Especially since, in your case, you were drafted.
Definately...without a doubt in my mind I would. And anybody that doesn't agree with me can kiss it because I'm just stating an opinion and as someone that is pro choice I believe women have that right to choose whether or not to bring a deformed child into the world or any other reason she may have to abort the fetus.
I think this is a very controversial topic. If you knew your baby was going to be horrifically deformed and have a tortureful live I dont find it selfish in the slightest to spare them that hell. It really is a tough situation to be in, and I hope I personally will never have to face it.
Without a doubt. Their life would be hell. People are going to give you the "it will get better" and "they could do it" sh!t, but you can try again for another baby. I dont find it selfish to save yourself and someone else all the trouble that comes with a defected child.
Frightening because you care about him so much. Yet you wouldn't think twice about making a different decision from your mom's if you were the one carrying someone like him within you. Clearly an emotionally complicated question, no?
That is very kind of you. :) It's not that I mind it or anything, its just frightening to think of what would happen to him should I pass away.
I hope in time she will come to be your lifetime reward, Eeshamom. (Is her name Eesha?)
My thoughts exactly.