Funadvice Logo
Explore Join
More Religion, Spirituality & Folklore Questions

Things I bet you've never heard in church

TOP TEN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH…

  1. Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew.

  2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.

  3. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

  4. I’ve decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.

  5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.

  6. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let’s pay our pastor so he can live like we do.

  7. I love it when we sing hymns I’ve never heard before!

  8. Since we’re all here, let’s start the service early.

  9. Pastor, we’d like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.

  10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!

Become an Expert →
Answer #1

The village called…they want you back !

Answer #2

I’ve deff heard 10,9,6,4,and 3.

Answer #3

Sermon-Without the lord, we are nothing but dust. Little timmy-Mommy, whats butt dust ??

Answer #4

LOL! You’d be surprised though. I prefer evangelism to golf! And at our old church my family always sat in the front pew!

Answer #5

I have said some of those things thank you!!! Not everyone hates church honey.

Answer #6

No amblessed it’s Your village called, they’re missing their idoit… maybe you should get back there dude, lol

& you’ld be surprise what you hearin church, lol

Answer #7

But they ARE funny - don’t be too mean to the poster, because some of those gave me a laugh, and others made me think, especially the one about paying the pastor enough to live like we do. In my church, only the pastoral couples plus some of the native French families, struggle to get by. We are a bit better off, and the rest of the congregation is pretty rich. But when there was a financial crunch, the richer families decided to make up a fund for the pastors and gave so much to it that in the end the pastors were embarassed and asked them to stop giving!

More Like This
Advisor

Religion, Spirituality & Folk...

Christianity, Islam, Buddhism

Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

Weed Church

Religious Organizations, Cannabis Industry, Information Technology

Advisor

hamptonschurch.org

Religious Organization, Church, Christian Community

Advisor

Kids Talk About God

Religious Organizations, Children's Education, Online Learning Platforms

Advisor

Squeeze & Pray

Online Retail, E-commerce, Internet Shopping

Advisor

psychicsource.com

Psychic Readings, Spirituality, Life Coaching