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My songs-please comment

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I fancy myslef as a bit of a songwritter:

In this world full of hurt and pain,
I need someone who would help me through the rain.
To comfort me when I'm sad,
Doing everything just to make me glad.

Someone who would fill my every need,
The type of man who does good deed's,
A brave night,
Who will never give up a fight,
A lover to dry away my tears,

He loves me for the inside
And makes me think I don't need to hide

A man with no sorrow,
A man who will kiss my elbow
When it is sore,
A man who will willingly give me more,
Will you open my door,

Tell me I look beautiful tonight
And ask me if I'm alright,
Give me your jacket in the cold,
Cook for me even if I'm fine

That is one here is another:
His is for all the people
All the people,
All the people,
Who have lost someone,
That they cared about,
Cared about,
Cared about,

Tamsyn when you left I was only 8,
8,
8,
But grandpa when you went you were my bestist mate,
Mate,
Mate,
We might never met again,
But I know you will always look doaawn,
And maybe even froaawn,

You will always be in my heart,
Now that were apart,
You wont get to watch me,
Get to be,
What I've always wanted to acheive

You mean more to me,
Than the ends of the earth,
If I had a single wish,
Then everyone would have their favorite ones,
Or nobody would have guns,

Your favorite game was doctors,
And you were once inn the navy

You could always tell when something was up,
You always told me to pass the ketchup,

I knew you were dying,
I just tried to forget,
Because my heart would break,
And I would ache,

My heart would blead and
I thanked god that
You didn't see me like that
At my most vunribleist point

We were forever,
Side by side,
Or mile's apart,
You were always close,
To my heart,

I knew you were dying,
I just tried to forget,
Because my heart would break,
And I would ache,

You will always be in my heart,
Now that were apart,
You wont get to watch me,
Get to be,
What I've always wanted to acheive

You mean more to me,
Than the ends of the earth,
If I had a single wish,
Then everyone would have their favorite ones,
Or nobody would have guns,

T- you would be
At least16
And gramps- you would
Still be with christine

I also write a story:
Thursday 8th october 1939:
Dear diary,
I have just found out that me and my brother and sister are being avacuated as brittain is not safe anymore.

My brother edward is 14 years-old, he is ok I suppose but he can get annoying at times, we tend to argue a lot. My sister margret has just turnt 1year-old, she cry's a lot and I spend a lot of my time looking after her after my father went to fight in germany.

I dont want to leave my mum!

Friday 9th october 1939:
Dear diary,
We are going tomorrow, im scared what if the career is old or mean, I hope [s]he lets us play games and bake cakes.

Mum is not coming with us but she said she will write to us everyday and we have to write back, its really late now so im going to go to sleep.

Saturday 10th october 1939:
Dear diary,
We set off on our long and tyring train ride, only for the train to stop in the middle of noware, everybody get's off and stands outside in the rain.
It was still early-10:00 early- a woman came and took a boy called andrew martain, he was very lucky as he was picked first, the woman who chose him looked quite rich and trendy.
It was the 798h man to come who turnt us down, but he was the last to turn us down, a woman in her early 30's. She wore a thick cream fur coat, from what I could tell it was real rabbit fur, she drove a very smart blue 1939 chevy that was playing out extreamly loud music, I have to say it was my favorite song calles all or nothing at all by arthur altman.her short brunett bob finger wave rested just above her sholders, it was so shinny and you could tell what type of person she wasjust by looking at her. She took me, edward and margret and put us in the back of her chevy, it was comftable, we were sat in the car for about 2 hours and as we approched the tall big building she slowed down, and then stop carried margret into the house and me and edward followed. She put magret on the chair and went to the front of the room.
“i will be your carer from now on, you will obay me and if you dont you will be punnished, if I ask you to do something you will do it promto is that understood children?” asked the woman,
“ yes ma'am” replied the children
“my name is mrs granger but you may call me pear, you may leave now” she announced to the children.
As I bent down to pick margret up she told me to stop as I was a young child and I should be injoying myself not carying for the younger

Sorry about spelling mistakes and thankyou for takin the time to read them