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How to deal with rape

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I was raped when I was 15. I kind of brought the situation on myself but I said NO and they contined anyway. Itw as a really violent experience but I never reported it because I was so ashamed and felt it was my fault. Anyway, I am now 19 going on 20 and I have a bofriend who I love more than anything in the world. One problem everytime we have sex or while we have sex I tend 2 have flashbacks and I tense up and I ccan't enjoy sex the way I should. I hate it. My boyfriend knows a little about the rape but he has no idea it affected me that way it has to the point where we have sex it frightens me. I don't want to tell him all this because I love him and I want him to be satisfied and I fear if I tell him he will wind up only doing things my way, and won't be satisfied himself; I just want him to be happy. Can you give meany tips on dealing with this or getting myself to relax while this is happening?