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Honest feedback about my poem?

mee!! Asked by broadwaystar101 5 months ago, 5 answers.

Will you please take some time and let me know what you think of my poem or what I could do better? It's about a young girl whose father is a drunk...

I came home to find you sitting there,
with hatred in your eyes.
I did not know just what I did,
why I believed all the lies.
It wasn't another bad day at work
or another fight with mom,
You promised to just have one drink,
you promised to stay calm.
Yet I came home to see the bottle
empty on the floor.
Why does it make you so angry?
Why don't you love me anymore?
You say I am ungrateful,
you say I'm not worth what you give.
You wonder why you brought me here
and why you let me live.
I go upstairs again,
the tears not unknown,
I wonder when you will put that bottle down
and my daddy will come home.
The next night is the same,
yet one more bottle wasted,
more anger building up
and one more drink tasted.
You say that you will stop
but you do not tell me when,
you leave me here to wonder
when this nightmare will end.

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favorite girl Answered by piker187 on Mar 05, 2008, 10:41AM
| 1079 answers.

really good poem. When its from the heart it means more, good job

Shark Atack Answered by funadvice on Mar 05, 2008, 11:31AM

Very moving, very very moving and sad...

blowing a kiss Answered by stephanief987 on Mar 05, 2008, 01:37PM
| 7349 answers.

I really like it.
Its deep, the type of poem I enjoy.
I like writing this type of thing to, if you want to check out mine you can look at in on my profile. Its in the first question I asked, I think the title is like 'What do you think of my poem' or something along those lines.

Shark Atack Answered by funadvice on Mar 05, 2008, 05:36PM

I love the poem its sad and moving at the same time

im not in it but I am a geek so im told Answered by qwerty628 on Mar 05, 2008, 09:31PM
| 176 answers.

AMAZING no questions asked if you lived by I would ask you out because that poem shows fire and a sense of passion and sadness and love and if you can do that I think you are my type only the girls I date do abstact art that is like the van go of poetry
Fun mail me
I have msn messenger so if you ever want to chat or talk or whatever I am here I had some problems with my dad to mine was a drug dealer and user and was very involved in a gang and to this day I sometimes cry beacuse he was nott a good influence but yet somehow I loved my dad and I can feel the tears in the back of my eyes

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