I know that I'm really young, but my fiance and I have talked it over, and we decided that we want a kid. We're engaged and everythng. And NO, he's not just saying that because he wants to have sex with me because we already HAVE a sexual relationship. I really want to have a kid with him, and his mom is willing to help us out as long as he has a job. I'm staying in school because it's very important to me. I just don't know if I REALLY should. Oh, and I love my fiance so so sooo much. It's unbelievable
I know it seems like this is what you really want but like some people have already said you have to THINK THIS THROUGH! You have only been alive 14 years. Sure plenty of people have had kids at your age but I am sure if you were to find ANY of them they would advise you against what you’re planning.
At 14 in this day and age you do not have the tools you need to raise a child. Maybe 100 years ago when a child your age did as much as any adult but today most kids do not have many if any responsibilities at all outside of keeping their room clean, helping with chores around the house and school work. That may sound like a lot but adults have to deal with a hell of a lot more than that. What experiences do you have to teach your children with? You need to get older and experience more so you can give that information to your child. If you have a child now it will be like the blind leading the blind. I am not talking about love or even money. A job can be had; you can work 2 or 3 jobs each to support your kids. But what kind of life would that be?
Parents that are never around because they are too busy working their fingers to bone to pay for rent, food, clothes and everything else. Maybe he goes to work and you stay home but he has to work 2-3 jobs to keep you guys afloat. Then a few years down the road when he wakes up and realizes he threw away the young years of life to fulfill YOUR dreams of having a baby, he will resent YOU. When he realizes he never had the chance to really figure out what he wanted to do with his life and it happened all because he met you, he will resent you! Right now you’re thinking, “he wants this too, and he really does love me!” IF he does want this, he wants it because it’s what YOU want and because he does love you (which I do believe is possible) he wants you to have what you want and he wants to be the one to give it to you. That is what men do when they fall in love they want to be the one to give the world to the woman they love.
You may even start to resent your own child when you realize you have given away your young years and figuring out who you really are to have a child. I know you think you know exactly who you are. I did too when I was your age. I thought so again at 16, then again at 18 when I changed my mind about a lot of things. I got married at 20 years old in fact. We never had kids because we physically can’t but we are still dealing with the financial problems we caused for ourselves 10 years ago. Why do we have all these problems? Because I made the mistakes of a child which is not really seeing how things would affect me in the future. Even though we were 20 we were still very immature about a lot of things. One of those was money and now I live check to check even though I have a degree and work full time because of all the credit problems I caused myself.
But lets get back to reality now, your are just kids. I know you don’t like hearing that but it’s the truth. You are not old enough to vote, to smoke cigarettes or to drink alcohol. There is a reason behind that. Because people under those age limits are generally considered to NOT have the FULL CAPABILITY to understand these things. A typical teenager drinks to get drunk and will put themselves in dangerous situations because the do not have the foresight (look it up) to behave otherwise. A typical teenager will not fully understand domestic and global issues enough to be able to pick a politician.
Do not think all these people here just want to put you down or that they don’t really know you? Most girls your age fantasize about all this. I did too; I just knew that I really wanted to live a little first so I didn’t go through with it. This will pass and if it doesn’t when you have a REAL foundation to offer that child you can go ahead with your plan.
Do you really want your kid to not have all the things he/she could have had because you didn’t want to wait until you were prepared? Isn’t that selfish? And remember I am not just talking about money. I hope you make the right decision for yourself, your future husband and baby.
I know it seems like this is what you really want but like some people have already said you have to THINK THIS THROUGH! You have only been alive 14 years. Sure plenty of people have had kids at your age but I am sure if you were to find ANY of them they would advise you against what you’re planning.
At 14 in this day and age you do not have the tools you need to raise a child. Maybe 100 years ago when a child your age did as much as any adult but today most kids do not have many if any responsibilities at all outside of keeping their room clean, helping with chores around the house and school work. That may sound like a lot but adults have to deal with a hell of a lot more than that. What experiences do you have to teach your children with? You need to get older and experience more so you can give that information to your child. If you have a child now it will be like the blind leading the blind. I am not talking about love or even money. A job can be had; you can work 2 or 3 jobs each to support your kids. But what kind of life would that be?
Parents that are never around because they are too busy working their fingers to bone to pay for rent, food, clothes and everything else. Maybe he goes to work and you stay home but he has to work 2-3 jobs to keep you guys afloat. Then a few years down the road when he wakes up and realizes he threw away the young years of life to fulfill YOUR dreams of having a baby, he will resent YOU. When he realizes he never had the chance to really figure out what he wanted to do with his life and it happened all because he met you, he will resent you! Right now you’re thinking, “he wants this too, and he really does love me!” IF he does want this, he wants it because it’s what YOU want and because he does love you (which I do believe is possible) he wants you to have what you want and he wants to be the one to give it to you. That is what men do when they fall in love they want to be the one to give the world to the woman they love.
You may even start to resent your own child when you realize you have given away your young years and figuring out who you really are to have a child. I know you think you know exactly who you are. I did too when I was your age. I thought so again at 16, then again at 18 when I changed my mind about a lot of things. I got married at 20 years old in fact. We never had kids because we physically can’t but we are still dealing with the financial problems we caused for ourselves 10 years ago. Why do we have all these problems? Because I made the mistakes of a child which is not really seeing how things would affect me in the future. Even though we were 20 we were still very immature about a lot of things. One of those was money and now I live check to check even though I have a degree and work full time because of all the credit problems I caused myself.
But lets get back to reality now, your are just kids. I know you don’t like hearing that but it’s the truth. You are not old enough to vote, to smoke cigarettes or to drink alcohol. There is a reason behind that. Because people under those age limits are generally considered to NOT have the FULL CAPABILITY to understand these things. A typical teenager drinks to get drunk and will put themselves in dangerous situations because the do not have the foresight (look it up) to behave otherwise. A typical teenager will not fully understand domestic and global issues enough to be able to pick a politician.
Do not think all these people here just want to put you down or that they don’t really know you? Most girls your age fantasize about all this. I did too; I just knew that I really wanted to live a little first so I didn’t go through with it. This will pass and if it doesn’t when you have a REAL foundation to offer that child you can go ahead with your plan.
Do you really want your kid to not have all the things he/she could have had because you didn’t want to wait until you were prepared? Isn’t that selfish? And remember I am not just talking about money. I hope you make the right decision for yourself, your future husband and baby.
One thing that comes to mind is, where are you planning on living when you have this baby? In your OWN apartment with your fiance, or at home with mommy, and daddy?
You have 10 or more years to even start considering children. Bringing a baby into the world with no way of supporting it is selfish. I'm not here to judge, but in all honesty, love does not make a happy baby!! It helps, but think of all the expenses. Formula (if you choose not to breast feed), furniture, clothes, doctors, just the hospital bill alone is insane. Babies are expensive. My advice: take time to grow up and have fun. Party, hang out with your friends, wait until you are emotionally and financially stable enough to have a baby. The feeling of wanting a baby desperately, it's completely normal, it's just better for everyone if you wait. Once a person becomes a parent, she or he is responsible for another person for at least the next 18 years. Raising a child involves a major commitment in time and money. Here are some things you could discuss with your boyfriend: Are we ready to help a child feel wanted and loved 24 hours a day for the next 18 years and beyond? *Will we have the support of our family and friends? *Are we both ready to accept full responsibility for parenting and go it alone if we split up? Will we have enough money to support ourselves and a child? *Are we mature enough to keep from harming the child physically or emotionally? (We won't ridicule, humiliate, slap, hit, or threaten our child no matter what happens, no matter how frustrated we get.) *Are we ready to seek whatever counseling we need to become better parents? *Are we ready to give up our social lives with friends to take care of our baby? *Who will be the primary caretaker of the child? Will the other partner be willing to put her or his school or career plans on hold and stay home with the child? Having a child would dramatically change how you and your boyfriend live your lives, so it's very important to think these issues through before making a decision.
If you and your fiance cant support this child without the help of yours/his parents, you arent old enough, or responsible enough to have one. Just because you have feelings of wanting something, doesnt mean you have to act on them. You're both being very selfish!
The love you feel now at 14, is NOT how you will feel in 5 yrs. People change. This is young love, which rarely lasts.
And also, the reason you even WANT a baby, is probably just teenage hormones. But then again, I'm 14 and I don't want a baby. I mean, they're really cute and all, but I wouldn't want one of my own.
Okay,well how about you take a test. Well, someone you know that has a baby, you offer to watch their baby for a week. And then you'll see how much work you have to put into a baby, how hard it is to takle care of it, like, feeding it, changing it, making sure it's okay and feels loved. And then think about how much money it takes to take care of a baby. .And think about how much you would HAVE to give up. I don't think that you've thought this all the way through. And have you even talked to your fiance' about this?
And have you thought that maybe your fiance' just asked you too marry him to get in your pants? And have you thought that if you two really loved each other you would wait until you're about 10-15 yrs. older to even CONSIDER getting married OR having a baby.
And another thing, what do your parents think about this? You have to have both your parents AND your fiance's parents' permission. And if they say no then you'll HAVE to wait. And if you're still a virgin (which I hope to GOD that you are), then wait until you are married in about 10-15 yrs. until you lose it.
I hope you take my advice. Please don't do this. Please don't ruin your life like this.
THIS ONE IS FOR PEOPLE WHO PAYS TAXES in the US or ask your parents about taxes if you're not working yet. Note: If you are not paying taxes, this DOES effect you as well because thousands of your parents dollars are being paid to taxes instead of giving it to you to go shopping, out, ect...
I'm concern for this girl too but I thinks she's gotten enough real advice above. It's because of kids like this that we get taxed so much. We are the ones who end up paying for these people's milk, food, living, diapers, health care, education, ect...through social services. They're usually the ones who get "free" college education! This world teaches us that if we grow up to be losers, we get rewarded for it but if we are good working citizens who makes good choices, we pay for ourselves and most of all, pay for the losers!
I think that people who make poor decisions in life should go hungry like in other countries. Those who work hard will have food and a good roof over their heads. They should pay the consequences for their poor actions. Life... I can go on and on... but I'm not going to...
I'm curious, what did you think the general response to this question would be when you asked it? Did you think most people would be supportive of the idea of having a child as you're starting high school? And when did the two of you get engaged, 6th grade?
Your fiance's job will not be enough to support himself, you and a child unless he's selling drugs, and no I'm not encouraging this as a career choice...it just seems to be the typical choice of work for people that end up in your situation. Your fiance's mother must be on drugs if she's OK with her 16 year old son starting a family right now. And as for you, I take it your parents aren't involved in this decision which is why you sought the counsel of the internet community.
Bottom line, don't have a kid, and deep breath break off the engagement.
I'm not going to write a whole paragraph to answer your question. So here goes the answer...NO... NO... AND HELL NO! Sweety I'm only 21 years old and I am about to graduate collge, I'm finacilally stable, and I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years (since I was 13). And do you know what we are thinking about having at our age... ? FUN!!! We are having fun being young and carefree. We both know that once you get a baby, a marriage, and all the responsibilities that come along with it ...there is no turning back from that sweety. Please think 2wice about what you want . I would love to know that you are enjoying your adolescense and not growing up to fast. I can only tell you what I would do but in the end its up 2 u. I said I would'nt write a paragraph but I guess I just had a lot more to say.
Never a good idea. I'm 18 at your age I wanted a baby I see my best friend shes 17 and has a baby she dont get to have fun shes always in the house with her son. you love your best friend right? you have a good girl best friend? think about not being able to go out with her and have fun. think about being 18 and wanting to go clubbing but your child is sick are you going to leave him/her home so you can go clubbing? You need to think about all this. Im saying this because Im haveing a pregnancy scare right now and this is what is running through my head. be careful. You love each other? show it in a different way other then a baby. good luck if you choose to have a baby at your age your gonna regret it. think about it.
Wow...WHAT? You are engaged at 14. Thats hard to even think about, when I was 14 the only thing I cared about was the mall. I dated someone for a year when I was 14 and thought I was in love and now I look back and im like "wow not even close" I know you are going to be like "this is different" but its most likely not. You shouldn't have a kid together, I ate when people tell ME this, but you are TOOO YOUNG. Atleast wait till you are done high school and have a good job. ATLEAST. Do it for yourself, dont worry about boys.
YOU'RE WWWAAAAAAAYYYYY TOO YOUNG TO HAVE SEX, HAVE A FIANCE', HAVE A BABY!!!!!!! Just enjoy your life. Don't have a baby YET. You'll realize, probably by the time the baby is born, that it's HUGE mistake. And if you get married this young, you'll regret that too. Just wait a little while and take your time to grow up. I mean, come on, your almost too young to even have a boyfriend none the less a fiance' OR a baby.
^ : : I agree with pt but im going to word it a bit nicer. YOURE 14!!! and I know a babys going to b hard and all that stuff but rnt you going to have 2 go around school with a baby bump and its going to HURT givin birth. and is your fiancee like your first boyfriend of somethin cauze your kinda trying to get ahead in life and all but you and your baby would b like 14 years apart! thats more like sister age.
hiya -well I fink just wait a bit and like its kwl your in such a lovin relationship but you have a long time to think about having children,also if you want to stay in school which you say you do its going 2 be very difficult I mean somtimes I think about having a baby (im 14 2 by the way)however I want to go school more and I know how difficult it is soo like gd luck and hope you make the right chocie
WTF, you're fourteen and you have a fiance. I hate people.
Wait until you're at least twenty-two. You are still a kid yourself. You need to grow up first, finish high school, graduate from college, find a decent job, and get married. THEN you could start thinking about having babies.
In the meantime, what do your parents think?
NO! DONT DO IT! First live your teenage life... dont wish to grow up so fast! Dont wish your life away . Lots of girls/women want to have babies but they wait until they have grown up. Remember, you only live once. Dont ruin it for your self. Mail me back what your fianl decision is :D xx Mel
Well, I think if you're financially set to have a kid, and understand what kind of responsibility it is, and babies aren't just dress up dolls that yoo'h can throw in the closet when yoo'h get tired of them, it takes a great deal of effort and lots of caring. I wish yoo'h the best = )
Okay ...here is the thing. You are waaay to young. In order to make it and take care of your family properly you will need 2 people working witht he way today's world is. You need to wait because EWWW!!! YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO EVEN BE ENGAGED!!!
No!!! Your 14!! Whether or not you have support that is a definate no no!! Your still a child yourself! I am 19 and have not even thought of having a baby! Your too young to be engaged or have a baby! Slow down! Enjoy your child hood!!
First, FIANCE??? Secondly, YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE A BABY AT 14. That is WAY TOO YOUNG TO BRING ON THAT KIND OF RESPONSIBILITY!!!
IRC96! are U FRIDGIN CRAZY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! your A FRIDGIN NUTCASE IF you THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA!!!
I think you shud have a kid but mayb you cud get a lil job after school please let me know how it turnz out
I think you shud have a kid but mayb you cud get a lil job after school please let me know how it turnz out
I think you shud have a kid but mayb you cud get a lil job after school please let me know how it turnz out
I think you shud have a kid but mayb you cud get a lil job after school please let me know how it turnz out
ZOMG! Are you kidding? Planet Earth is doomed. These are the children of the future.
omg i am 14 and i preg and my bf is 16 yer it is ok
Oh, and I forgot to add that he is 16.
ARE YOU F*CKING STUPID? SERIOUSLY?
I think you should deffinetly wait
Wow. What planet do you live on?
r you stupid?
