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Please help...this thing is really bothering me badly..be it my emotions and studies...I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. But whenever I'm with my boyfriend, his mom..I dunno... acts differently and say things unpleasant about it...as if like my boyfriend is following my orders and going gaga over me... as if she's blaming me for for her son not coming back and spending time or fulfilling all her needs while the real fact is he was away because he's studying! And the simple fact that because I'm his course mate, makes things worse. as if he dedicate all his time on me... she expects him to do everything for her though she knows he is busy with his thesis and studies..I've got the feeling that, she blames it on me so badly... how can I not be bothered by it...yes, I've met her... but I don't really talk to her, because I'm shy and I don't wan to say the wrong things... but I do feel my presence unwanted...like, she's in denial that her son (out of 6 sons for god's sake!) is seriously with me now...I doubt I would have a happy future because I've got this awkward environment of jealousy...
Dear Typi, Mrs. Marshall said it best for your situation. If you do all that she tells you and the mom still hates you, there is nothing you can do. I would kind of go slow as far as marriage goes. A bad relationship with a parent-in-law can play hell with a marriage. I would do 2 things before you marry this guy. 1. If this mom does not change after you have done everything in your power to create a good relationship between you and her (Mrs. Marshall's advice), make sure your future husband supports you, and how you choose to handle his mom. This includes if you have children....His mom is not going to run the show, make decisions for the grandbaby, etc....Let him know if you two get married you are forming your own circle, which includes you, your husband, and your children. MAKE SURE both of you understand this and that you both kinda keep this sacred. 2. If you can get you and your future mother-in-law's relationship to be like Mrs.Marshalls, that would be the best. If this happens great....make sure it happens before you two marry or go with above #1. Familycoach.
my boyfriends mom hates me. she won't admit it, but I know she doesn't like me. shes always got a smile on when I'm around or she just says hi and then never says anything afterwords. she says I'm not good enough for him and we don't belong together. she talks to his ex-girlfriend all the time, and she cheated on him and lied to him all the time, and she likes her more then me. I never lie and I never cheat on him. tell me how that makes sense? just recently I almost broke up with him because of his mom, but then I figured I'd be giving her what she wanted. I want to be with him, so I'm going to. whether she likes it or not, thats just the way it's going to be. and I also think she's jealous that he can talk to me about things and he likes spending time with me and his friends so he doesnt see her as much and she blames me for that. she always talks about me behind my back. yes, it bothers and upsets me a LOT, but I'm so sick of it I'm starting to not care. she's really immature, and I don't deal with immature people. if you love him, stay with him.
i know exactly where ur coming from i dated my husband for 2 years before we got married and his mother quite frankly wanted to kill me.. he would spend alot of time over at my house and even when i was gone he would go see my mom and keep her company. it drove her nuts she even once called me up cussing me out saying she would do whatever possible to make sure we did not stay together. he is also her only boy and she was a single mother which brings their bond even closer. when my husband and i decided to get married we had to fix this but not all cases are fixable. we started spending more time at her house and her and i would go out to lunch. now she is my mother and law and she loves me too death. in most cases it just takes some time. but even if she wont give u the time of day if u love him, u cant change that so stay happy and just dont let what she does get to you
I can totally feel your frustration. I have been with my boyfriend since sep '05 and yet i feel exactly the same about his mum as you. she comes into a room and fills it with this bad vibe and i just shrink. she is very negative and blames her vices on lists of illnesses she claims to have but shows no signs other than being nasty. it has affected me so much that recently i cried all night and couldnt sleep. the 19th was my bf's bday and we argued about it and he said he hated me and so i had to be hasty and moved my stuff out and now feel totally bad because i still love him. I let his mum get to me so much that i walked out on his bday. i have tried to contact him but there is no response. you cant change people its true, but dont let yourself be stuck in a mess like this. its not worth it if you love him :(
I believe its the way you look and what your doing with your life. A parent regardless being a mother, father whatever. a guardian, any gaurdian is going to look out for there young. so there hopes may just be higher than what you have bestowed upon them. so if you don't meet there standards.. its up to them how they treat you.. some parents are too nice and keep it to them selves... but that doesn't mean they wont go behind your back and tell there young to not be with you.. think about it..
There is in fact nothing wrong with my attitude....the rest of hif family likes me and are fine with me....and my boyfriend is very concerned and he cares for a big deal for his mother, he in fact did things that others wouldn't do just to make her happy and satisfied... the problem seems to arise because of me, anything he does never seem to be satisfying enuf for her... he may deny it, that his mother has this kinda thing on me, but I can tell... even my mom could.
First, accept you can't MAKE her like you....so do the best you can when you're around her -keep a good attitude and a smile....you can control what you do, not what she does and if you haven't done so, have a heart-to-heart with your boyfriend and ask him to do the same with her (his Mom)....all you can do is your best and hopefully in time that environment will change for the better.
Good Luck and God Bless !!
this is just MY outlook on it but...my husband's mom and i were okay from the start and now we are the best of friends. that's ONE good thing. MY mom and my husband hate each other and have for 11 years. will never change. i think you can tell from the very beginning how the future will end up being. so now it's YOUR choice. like i said, that is just MY outlook.
there isnt much you can do because right now im going through the same thing. its got to the point where I thik I should break up with my boyfriend to make her(his mother)happy. im not saying you should break up with your boyfriend but if it gets that far, it would be up to you to make that sacrfice and let him go Felisha
Okay well first impressios always count some mother aree hard to convince & I know what you guys are going threw!!Its hell to havee your boyfriends parents not like you,But just be polite&Look at her when you speak,
that is sorta what i am going through i am trying to get my bfs mom to stop being a B##$% but she gave him up at 14 and me and him have been friends for a long time just follow your heart like i am doing
she need to realize that he has a life to its not always about her but ur boyfreind need to spend sumtime with her y dont u guys plan sumthing so all u guys could go like out to eat or sumthing
omfg my bf's mom is the same way they really need to let go..um..
