im 17. shouldnt I be allowed freedom??

my dad is so over controlling. he has trust issues and doesnt let me do anything! what is a 17 allowed to be able to do? I have my license but im no allowed to drive. I cant go anywhere with friends without being questioned and he makes me feel bad about wanting to do these things. he says hes bending over backwards by saying yes. we have the worst relationship, hes a corrections officer at a state prison and is a real dick! I wish he didn care about me so that I could just do normal things. like go over to my boyfriends house or have a friend pick me up and take me to the movies or mall. but I cant cause I cant be in car with student drivers unless I absoltly have to. cause its jsut for a ride home. I shouldnt be home every single night. and I should be able to see my boyfried more then almost once a week or sometimes once every other week. I don have any classes with him but my dad says I see him enough in school. I’ve been with him for well over a year! and my dad likes him as a person just not as my boyfriend and doesnt want us to ever be alone. everytime im with him we have sex and I’ve gotten away with sleeping over his house twice. im not crazy cause my mom says hes horrible too. but she cant have any say cause my dad makes all the rules. and if they dissagree he says shes a bad parent and has bad parental skills. what in the world do I do to get some freedom???”

Answer #1

No. You’re a kid, and under his house, it’s his rules. Move out when you’re 18 if you think he’s too overbearing; he can’t do anything to stop it.

Answer #2

Okay, well I understand what your dad is trying to do. he doesnt want to lose you. he wants you to be his little girl still. But I would try to sit down with him and talk about it. Tell him that he should trust you. ask him why he does things the way he does. Tell him that he needs to realize that he raised you right and you know how to make responsible choices. Make him trust you. Try to be as compromising with him as possible. I have a friend that has a dad like that and she was never allowed to go anywhere and now shes out of control. Good Luck!!

Answer #3

Even when you are 18 you will still live by much of the familys rules. For so long as anyone lives in my house and eats my food I expect them to be home at a resonable time simply for the fact that I dont want to have to wake up when they come in the door. You will never truely be free, its a fact of life no mater how much you age you will always thirst for more.

Answer #4

tunkinstein is wrong. your almost an adult you should be able to do pretty much whatever you want. parents should NOT be able to control your lifE! thats just plain wrong. xoxoTina

Answer #5

Sounds like he is beyond protective !!! States may be different, but in many you can leagally emanciapte yourself at 17 so you can check into that, if not hon I am afraid your there till your 18. So sorry you have to go through this. Best of luck to you.

Answer #6

im not saying hes a horrible guy. hes just completly unreasonable. and I have seen it from his point of view. but he doesnt even try to meet me half way. so why should I bother either. and im not going to get pregnant. and I know hes not dumb but I am absolutly positive that he doesnt know about my sexual life. which is best. and im not looking to run the streets, but id like to be able to talk on the phone past 9 or stay up past 10. jeese. he needs to control everything b/c hes convinced he needs to be involved in every aspect. and the problem is about the whole going to my boyfriends house is… I’ve gone to other boyfriend houses. just not this one I have now. and I was only dating the other ones for a couple months… this guy I’ve been dating over a year. and I still havnt gone to his house with permission. he doesnt have a mom and his dad is pretty old so my dad doesn think well be properly supervised. which is dumb cause I’ve met his dad and hes a sweetheart. and hes willing to meet and talk to my dad but its still such a big deal to him…

Answer #7

I have sat him down a lot! all it has done is pushed us farther away. its placing a wedge between my parents. they always fight about me and money these days. and me and my mom are sick of it. its almost to the point of divorce. he can never be wrong and if you disagree with him or make a point and be right then he gets out of control. he curses and punches things and slams doors and calls me a bit and says F* YOU straight to my mothers face, he thinks my mom and I are teaming up against him. and we have but only cause he really is wrong. but there just is no stopping him. my younger brother has some issues learning and focusing and hes very imature for his age. hes 11 but is as mature as an 8 yr old. thats what his therapists and doctors say. thats the only reason my parents are still together. b/c of money and my brother woulnt be able to handle it… I think he could. he doesn like the fighting either,

Answer #8

when you’re 18, you can do watever you want. your almost there so just roll with it for now.

Answer #9

“wish he didn care about me”

No you dont, then you would not only be his child, but you would be a juvinelle delinquent in one of his prisons. Be happy that you have a father who cares enough about you to try and protect you. Some people don’t have fathers around and they wish they had what you have.

You are only 17, I know you think you are old, but your not even legally an adult yet. Until you turn 18 and as long as you live under his roof , it’s his house his rules. When your 18, you can move out, get your own place, and follow your own rules. Until then, listen to your dad and show some respect. These years go by way to fast and all the time you are spending hating him, you are going to regret when he’s gone.

Talk to your dad, spend time with him, cherish him in your life, and just be a teenager and don’t try and grow up so fast. You’ll be 18 soon enough and realize what the real world is like and what he was trying to protect you from. You’ll understand even more when you are a parent yourself, I know I do.

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