How to get more in touch with myself?

You don’t mention how old you are. I’m going to take a guess that you are probably around 14 or 15 - right? Knowing yourself is something that comes with age and time. Life’s experiences kick you around, and you learn to deal with them one day at a time as they come at you. With age, you become much more confident of who you are and know your strengths and limitations. You will never be Rambo, but then, nobody is. I was once where you are, a “nerd” in school, but didn’t really feel like I belonged. Today, I am a 68 year old man who not only has been to Hell and back; I have a Condo there. I have survived everything life has tossed in my face, and I feel like I can handle anything. I didn’t feel like that in one day, or by doing one particular thing. A combination of life’s experiences will harden you and help you to learn who you really are. Keep in mind that anything that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And cheer up. Many good things will eventually come your way. It doesn’t happen instantly, but it does happen. Oh, and choose who you marry VERY, VERY carefully. The wrong choice can destroy you! Good luck to you.