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Any moms out there with add? How do you cope?

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I am a stay at home mom of 4, with a hard working husband who works at night and sleeps by day! and I cant seem to ever get passed the feeling like I am barely keeping my head above water with all of the household demands...writing bills, cleaning, laundry...omg!!!, getting meals prepared on a schedule...doing anything on a schedule!, errands, setting appts, keeping appts...its sooo overwhelming! I have tried it all (I think) charts, calendars, post-its, writing on my hand...I cant lose that, can I? lol! any advice? anyone out there with the same dilema? its eally effecting my self esteem and my marriage. how to cope???