What are some really funny jokes?

Hey, what are some really funny jokes? I haven't heard any good ones lately and, um, I love laughing...

y does a chicken coop have 2 doors? b-because if it had 4 doors,it would b a chicken sedan! lol
ok,it probly aint vry funny,but its de best I got. im not a funny person,so cut me sum slack. lol )

okay welll this might not be that funny to you but I thought it was hilarious.
I was at my boyfriends house and his dad came out and started telling us a joke
it goes like this:
'one day the teacher took the little retards to the matress store.
they went over to one kind of bed and she asked the little retards what it was called.
she said little retards what kind of bed is this? & one little retard said queen & she said very good little retard.
so then they went on to the next bed & she said little retards what kind of bed is this?
& one little retard answered full & she said very good little retard.
so then they went onto the next bed there were two on top of each other and my boyfriends dad was like 'ughh what were those called again?' and my boyfriend was like bunk beds. & then my boyfriends dad was like very good little retard.'
hahah I thought it was funny.

fwd:

Shirley's Makeover

A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience. She saw God and asked, 'Is this it?' God said, 'No, you have another 30 to 40 years to live.' Upon her recovery, she decided to stay in the hospital and have collagen shots, cheek implants, a face lift, liposuction and breast augmentation. She even had someone dye her hair. She figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it. She walked out of Cedars Sinai lobby after the last operation and was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrived in front of God and said, 'I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?' God replied, 'Shirley! I didn't recognize you!'

Definition not found in the dictionary:

Diplomat-The mat under the limbo bar to catch those who fall.

alright my friend robert told me this joke and I was laughing for some hours. hope you like it...One day superman was flying over tha city and he was feelin real horny, so horny he couldn't control himself anymore, As he was flying he see's this girl naked on her roof top. So he decides to have sex with her real quick since he has super speed. He fly's down and then jets off with what he thinks is a job well down. Tha girl then says's 'damn what was that' and her BOYFRIEND replies ' I don't know but my butt is killing me'

-Ever heard about the dyslexic man who walked into a bra?
-I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said 'Analogue.' I said
'No, just a watch.'
-This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says 'Audi!'
-I went to the local video shop and I said, 'Can I borrow Batman Forever?'
He said, 'No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow'
-A man refused a job at the Foreign Office as it was compulsory for him
to have Diplomatic Aids.
-It was mealtime during a Virgin Trans Atlantic flight. Would you like dinner?'
the flight attendant asked me.
'What are my choices?' I asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.

Your link to 1000s of jokes: http://www.comedyontheweb.co.uk
For some really funny pics I'd say http://www.comedypics.blogspot.com