Funny jokes

I need some really really good jokes. For some reason everyday on the announcments at school they do a joke of the day and the ones the say are horrible!!! I need good ones. School apporpiate. Please good ones!

A fruit farmer hired two new workers for his fields, but before he sent them out for the day's work, he told them he had just one rule: don't steal any fruit. The two agreed to obey the rule.

After the day was over, the two workers came in to report to the farmer. He asked them if they had stolen any fruit, and immediately their conscience forced them to tell the truth.

Yes, we did. We ate some when we got hungry, they said.

The farmer replied, Ok, here is your punishment. I want each of you to go pick ten of your favorite fruit and come back to me.

The men couldn't believe their ears. This seemed more like a reward than a punishment!

After fifteen minutes, the first thief came back with ten cherries. The farmer promptly told him that as part of his punishment, he would have to stuff each cherry up his nose. The thief was upset about this, but he knew he had done wrong, so he slowly began to push the cherries up his nose one by one.

As he was working on the third cherry, he began to laugh hysterically. The farmer asked him, What's so funny?

The thief replied, The other guy is out there picking watermelons!

u can look for jokes online :D

Poop, Shut up, and Manners where riding there bikes. Sadly, Poop fell off his bike and got seriously injured. Manners decided to stay back and help him while Shut up went for help. Shut up reaches a near police station and the officer asks him,
Whats your name? Shut up quickly replys,
Shut up, The officer says in an angered voice,
Where are your manners? Shut up says,
Outside, picking up Poop.

hahaha that joke is retarded.
another one?

Okay so the midget walks up to the woman and says,
Your hair smells nice,

hahah afor school?
nahh.