Really good insults?

Does anyone have some really good insults, because like at school people always take the piss out of me so iwant something that I can come back at them with :D
this is my best one, your birth certificuit is an appoligey letter from Durex

Do you...

bleed from your mouth every 28 days (hinting he/she is a c*nt :D)

x

flowerchild;;
oh wow, if the bible to you to jump off a cliff would you do it?

and as of answer.

Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...

Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?

I've seen more life in a down and out's vest.

You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...

Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.

You're about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder

All day I thought of you...I was at the zoo.

I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.

You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.

He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe

Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.

If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd say BOO!

You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.

You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she too hates it!

I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.

Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?

Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?

Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...

I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at Cucumber college.

Well, they do say opposites attact...so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.

I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.

You started at the bottom...and it's been downhill ever since!

I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.

Is your name Maple Syrup? - Well, it damn well should be, you sap!

I know what sign you were born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'

You do sure have a lot of Well-wishers. They'd all like to throw you down one...

Somebody said to me that you ain't fit to sleep with the pigs. Well, I stuck up for the pigs.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception

I hear you're connected to the Police Department - by a pair of handcuffs...

Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?

I heard when you were a child your Mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.

Why don't you just open your mind and shut your mouth, both are empty anyway.

I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late!

You must be an experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

Everybody has a photographic memory. You simply don't have the film.

You're about as good looking as a cross between the Elephant Man and a Pitbull Terrier..

You! Off my planet!

See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

Just out of curiosity, are your parents siblings?

Whilst every girl has the right to be ugly, you seem to have abused that privelige!

You're the kind of man that is a blueprint for building an idiot.

I'd like to leave you with one thought...unfortunately I ain't sure you have anywhere to put it!

Yeah, yeah, keep talking, someday you might say something intelligent.

Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?

Excuse me, is that your nose, or are you eating a Banana?

When you were born, did they let your Mother out of her cell?

You're so bent you make roundabouts look straight!

I've seen better hands on a leper!

This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.

You've got more chins than a Chinese phone book!

I've come across rotting bodies that are less offensive than you are.

You're a habit I'd like to kick -- with both feet.

So now we know why some mammals eat their children...

[some are corny :] ]]

um revenge is not good to do. *said so in the bible*

'Suppose so...
But they started it :L x

Your jealousy is my energy, ever wonder why im so hyper?

Lol kind of cheesey, but never mind!!

OMG !
Thats well good
Becuase I'm always like proper hyper at school..
Thank you so much :D

I cant really compare to lilpoofle...

Wow...

LOL.
THANKS XX

No probs vintagelover :D haha I heard that somewhere xxx

first of all you cant really get something to say back to them if I dont make sense you need to seee what they say first and then say someting back or twist what they said so they look ratarded and if that doesnt work look at this picture for your plan b

Yeah I know.
But like incase they said something,
just so I have something in my head to come
back at them with.

Now I know this one is corny and all but its one of my favorites.

Huh? You hear something? Sounded like a braincell dieing.
OR... you could go with a new spin on a classic.
Your village called, Told me they would pay to keep the idoit out.

I LOVE those insults! Although the Bible DOES say not to get back... I think it's okay to have a little fun! Someone came up to me today in church, and said, AH! Hideous! Can you think of a comeback???

Thats what your mum said when you were born!

Kind of good not the best insult in the world though lol X D

: )hope that helps: )

Wtf is wrong with you guys? Comeback lines takes creativity and if you notice... these comebacks probably wouldn't work because they wouldn't match what the other dude is insulting you in the first place... and some are old and craptacular.

If you people haven't noticed... these comeback lines probably wont work because they're craptacular and it wont flow with whatever the other dude said... Comebacks also take creativity and that's what makes them good...

'let me guess the case of your lack of life...umm... you happened looked in the mirror?'

Well my friend told this one to me, it's good for when someones talking crap.

If I wanted to hear an asshole I would fart

I'll have to think of more...

does your own mother dress you like that?

you know I was so good at comebacks, but its been a while since I had to go to town with words... We used to have a club in High school - TSC Talk S - - - Club

LilFoofie - you had me on the floor - So now we know why some mammals eat their children...

You know I was at work the other day, scooping icecream for my team of Technicians... this brash one came up to me and said, he're the scooper so you dont look like an idiot using a little spoon... I just said, I may look stupid with this little spoon, but whats your excuse for being stupid all the time?
Shut them up.

If they are fat -
You can lose so much weight if you let all that water out of your blow hole - then with your hand make your fingers like a spray over your head,

Whenver they sit down, pretend that they lifted you off your seat
rattle a cup or anything on your desk, yellearthquake!!! when they walk by.
If they say F you!! tell them good luck finding their tallywacker.
Call them Jubba.
Get in Sumo postition every time they cross your path.
make oinking sounds.
Tell them to go cry in their chocolate milk (this one is weak)
ask them if they piss mayonaise
what di you have for breakfast, lard and some butter did you...
When you $hi+... you don't eat it do you?
If someon is absent and they ask where's john Doe? Jubba ate them
when they look for something... tell them to check between Chin 3 chin #4

Sorry, I only have fat insults right now since thats who is pestering me...

if the person insulting you is a guy say I've heard you love to wear you mom's panties. now if a girl say gosh you don't look like your age, because you look older!

shut up! up where?

your a bitc*!

well a birc* is a female dog,
and a dog barks,
and bark grows on trees,
and tress are nature,
and nature is beautifull,
so thanks for the compliment!