Any good insults mine suck??

any time I get in fights with people my come backs/insults always consist of make me , you wish, and piss off and thats why people try to tick me off just to hear me say one of those.so lately I've just been ignoring them but it doesnt work not to...

respond it just makes me want to hit them which my friends skill fully pull me away from but it hurts not to respond and I hate to give them what they want when they bug me so I was thinking I just needed better come backs/insults if you know any good ones then please tell me

Just keep ignoring them, it's the more mature thing to do. So what if it makes you want to punch them, just don't actually do it obviously. Sometimes words hurt but seriously, you calling them names back just makes you sink to their level.

I KNOW THAT gut my friends cant always be there to stop me from hitting someone and I dont like to seem helpless especially when there insulting my friends

I agree with Jasmine101... It really works when you just laugh at whatever they say. Trust me, it really ticks them off when you laugh at whatever they tell you. Try it and let me know what happens.

Find a book of insults. These do exist, but mine are all old and outdated.

-Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

-People like you are the reason I'm on medication.

-I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.

-I need you...I want you...To get out of my face

-What's that ugly thing growing out of your neck... Oh... It's your head...

-Why don't you go outside any play, hide and go f**k yourself

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sometimes the best insults are those tailored to the original insult.
and I dont know if you are looking to provoke an angry response or if you want to seem witty, but here goes..
I frequently simply say f**k you. simple, effective, applicable to most insults.
however, if you want to add alittle wit to the shouting match, you can try one of two things:
1.) take their insult literally.
ex. if someone says f**k you, say you're not my type, or I think that would piss of my girlfriend, or even, ok. when? will throw them off.
or, ex if someone calls you an a**wipe, say innocently, toilet paper?
occasionally lame depending on your age
2.)insult their lack of creativity.
ex. haven;t heard that since the second grade. grow up. what a novel insult. I applaud your creativity. (etc makes you sound intelligent, them immature.)
good luck, people can be stupid don't take b**ches personally