Why am I a bad person?

People say I’m a nice person, that I care a lot about my friends, but very little about my family. I push them away and substitute my friends as my family, cus their there more for me than my family. I know your probably thinking “jeeez this guys just trying to get attention” I’m doing the exact opposite. I know my parents care about me, they have too, their my da*mn parents! I meen jeez if they didn’t want me they would have given me up. I can pretty much say that my relationships with them now are not very good. My dad is more of my friend, not a parent, plus its seems that hes only there for me when he wants to be and when it suits him. But he does like me. (that may sound odd but I dont want to over exzagerate, I want an answer I can put into action) And my ma… Im pretty distant from her too.. Cus she never helps when I need it. The last time she did was when someone apart from me tell her there was something wrong with me. And then she blocks it out. And denys everything I say. I just want a happier home life. Cus I hate it here… Cus its like im not wanted. And yeah, this might sound all soppy and stupid, but I really need help, cus I don’t want to do anything drastic. I don’t want to lose my friends over this. Cus thats how it might go if I can’t get some help, please, I have knowhere else to turn too.

Answer #1

andy, you’re amazing.. nobody will ever change that about you. it’s okay to lean on your friends for the most part of your life. there are family problems everywhere, like look at mine..I almost lost my future because of them. but, in the end, they really do care about you. they feed you, they house you, buy you clothes, and give you just enough to keep you there and healthy. even though it seems like all they’re doing is trying to block you out, but..maybe they’re just pulling away so they will prepare for your leaving. I know it’s hard to watch everything fall apart. it’s almost like you’re bound to the same ruetine, the same image of a broken family. but later, I’m sure, it will be better. it’s normal to be closer to your friends than your family because of the age difference and of what they talk about. but maybe you can talk to them about it. when the time comes.. try to think logically about the situation and not emotionally. so yeah, wait for your emotions to simmer down for a little bit, and then go ahead and talk to them. sure, it’ll be awkward. but at least you wouuld have it off your chest. sure, you might cry. but who cares? they’re your family, and they’re the first ones to see you at your worst and also your best. keep you’re chin up andy (: ~lea

Answer #2

You shouldn’t feel bad about feeling closer to your friends then to your family. This happens to a lot of people. Your relationship with your parents goes through stages. When you were younger they had to be there for you constantly as you needed them. Now, you have your own life. You don’t need them there constantly and not only do you have more freedom but so do they. Your parents have to learn to be parents of a young adult instead of parents of a child. It is a weird transition for everyone involved and it doesn’t sound like your parents have figured it out yet.

I am sure you want your privacy and don’t want your parents in your business all the time. This makes it hard for them to know when you need them. Sometimes your just going to have to tell them what you need them to do. When you talk to them try not to make it sound like they are doing a bad job (even though they might be). No one wants to be told they are a terrible parent. Just tell them that now that you are older you need them to support you and be there for you when life gets tough. Explain what you think would work for you. Be patient, this is new to them too.

The good news is that a few years from now everything with your parents will be running more smoothly. This is very normal. Have faith because it is going to be so much better!

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