When will things move faster?

Here’s the deal… I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3+ years, we live together and all that. We’re in love and I know he’s the one. We talk about marriage and kids but I can never seem to get it out of him when that all will exactly happen. We’re young but I’m ready and he’s clearly not. I don’t know what to do… I hope whoever answers this can look past age here, it’s truly not a factor in my eyes. I want to know what’s keeping him from asking me to marry him or have kids? Maybe it’s the way I talk about it a lot but I can’t help it when I want it so bad. Anyway, I’m open to whatever someone has to say. Thanks.

Answer #1

I think we should keep in mind that we as women are built entirely different from men. We are nurturers, we want to settle down, we are emotionally driven. I dont mean this to say we are just sissies- I’m just saying we are built different. It seems more often than not-we realize we are ‘ready’ before they do. They want to have sex right away, we want to commit and settle down right away. Its ok- keep in mind everyone goes at their own pace. I can understand being anxious but try to respect his pace and that he may just need more time. Perhaps he is madly in love with you and wants to have 15 babies with you- but not just yet. Try not to nag him about it- that may just drive him away. Give him some time and he’ll come around. If you already discussed it-let it go and dont harp on it. Maybe bring it up months down the road. Whats the big rush?! However, you of course know him better than I do so if you think he is just stringing you along and wants to be single for the rest of his life- you may want to reconsider. Good Luck!

Answer #2

He’s marriage material and father material. He treats my nephews as if they were his own. When we talk about marriage or kids, he says yes I want to marry you and yes I want to have children with you. But that’s it. There’s no further conversation… It really hurts me.

Answer #3

Is it fair to expect him to be ready at the same time you are? Would it be fair of him to be angry with you because you are ready too soon? He has committed to living with you- thats a good sign. Only you know how you feel - is he marriage material? Does he avoid the whole topic or does he just say yes I want to but Im not ready yet. It doesnt mean he doesnt love you- it just means hes not ready. Would you rather wait til he’s ready or pressure him and nag him until he finally gives in-thats not very romantic. You need to decide if he is worth waiting for, or are you just wasting your time.

Answer #4

I feel like I have given him time though. Why do I have to be the one that has to wait? That’s selfish. He’s had time to think about it but chooses not to. That’s not my fault and I shouldn’t have to sit around and wait. How fair is that?

Answer #5

Maybe you should give it more time to work on the communication between the two of you. That is the heart of a relationship.

Answer #6

He’s definately not the best at communication and I tell him, he needs to talk to me so I understand what he wants and how he feels… he always told me that once we got our own place, then we’d have kids… still waiting.

Answer #7

That’s true but I feel like we don’t do anything that fun anyway.

Answer #8

well a lot of things factor in all that…financial stability is definitely the main one. If hes your partner then you shouldnt be shy about bringing it to his attention…I mean you guys should be able to talk about anything …so you should mention it and let him know exactly how you feel…communication is definitely the best …

Answer #9

maybe he just isnt ready for kids or marriage. maybe he thinks he’s to young, or he wants to live a little before he gets tied down with kids. I wouldnt want to have a baby young because then you cant do anything fun as a couple any more.

Answer #10

maybe he cant have kids or theres something that he is not telling you Do you guys have a good intimate relationship?

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