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what is it like having herpes?

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like I said, what is it like? does it hurt? and is it obvious that you have it?

im terrfied of kissing guys sometimes because for all I know they could have it and not tell me, then I would get it,

is it true that a person can contract herpes and not know it, then pass it on to his signifigant other, and then it show up on the other but not the one who contracted it in the first place? and if someone with herpes touches their sore, then touches a surface, then you touch it (the surface), then touch your own face, can you contract it that way? please no dictionary definitions, I want to hear what you guys have to say.