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I'm 18 and I'm moving out on June 15th with my boyfriend who is 20. she keeps telling me he isn't a good person and he isn't going to support me or help me with the bills at all, but i know he will because he already gives me his paycheck to put into my checking account and he has paid for most of the stuff for the apartment and he is paying for the lot rent which is 470 a month and she won't listen to me. She keeps telling me he is going to bail on me and just leave me with all the bills... how can I get it through to my mom that he isn't going to bail on me and he is going to be there for me????? I just can't take it anymore with her always bad mouthing him..
You haven't stated why, exactly, she doesn't like him? Obviously she disliked him before you broke the news of shacking up together. But, you are not telling the whole story, methinks.
Your mom doesn't have to accept or understand that you're moving in with a guy for no good reason (other than you just really really want to be together all the time). Personally, I'm raising my son never to ever live with a woman unless he marries her. I know most people don't go by that old school logic, but there's something to be said to getting a roommate, paying your own bills, and setting yourself up in logical, secure situations not dependant on a dude giving you his paycheck.
My advice is to get a roommate instead, date your boyfriend, but support yourself entirely and avoid having a horrible relationship with your mom. And look at it this way. IF in fact, your mother ends up being right--where are you going to go first to get help and support? That's right, M-O-M.
It is just human nature for your mom to not want you to move in with a guy she doesn't like.
Hopefully over time your BF will be a stand up guy and will win even your mom over.
You are an adult now so it is your decision. Your mom has every right to say anything she wants and you have every right to set your own ground rules. e.g. if you are going out to lunch with your mom you can tell her that you'd like a pleasent lunch so you won't argue with her about your BF and will leave if she brings the subject up.
Regardless if moving in with your BF is the right or wrong thing to do you mom needs to start respecting your choices even if she dissagrees but this isnt' going to happen until you put your foot down.
sHE LOVES YOU AND IS WORRIED TO DEATH ABOUT YOU. When you have to have someone else "Take care of you" you are like an infant. Your mother did that for 18 years. Now you want your boy friend to do it. This is like becoming a slave. You will do as he says, just like when you were home. Your mom,s house, her rules. Well now its his house and car and food and electricity and you will do as he says. Never allow someone to have that kind of control over you. Get your lazy butt up. Go to jr college and get a degree, learn a trade or skil and take care of yourself. You will sure be glad you did. No one takes care of you unless you pay an awful price. Your freedom.
Dear rae14, It's obvious that your mother is worried and there really isn't anything you can do to change that. She will continue to worry till her last breath. But you do need a back up plan. Since you seem to be relying on your boyfriend so heavily for your support if something were to happen would you be able to support yourself? Do you have the money and means to pay the rent and bills yourself. If not...then you are not ready for the move. You never rely on another to this extent. Your mother may not be saying this but I will...if you can't support yourself 100% you're not ready for the move. Sue...good luck
someone changed the title on my question because i can take care of myself.. i have a lot of money saved up and i also have a full time job.... i don't need anyone to support me...my boyfriend and me are just moving in with each other because we want to be together and are ready to move in together. my mom just thinks he is going to leave me and not help me with the bills. we are going half on basically everything... i just want my mom to stop talking bad about my boyfriend and bad mouthing him. it bothers me alot because i really love him..
You are 18, you have to just go with your heart, and see if it works out, your parents are not always going to think things are the best for you, but if you really feel it is then go for it... but always take your moms advice to heart, and keep on your toes... do not let your guard down just yet because sometimes mothers can be right. As far as what to do with her... well just put up with it, until then, because she has already made up her mind... so i don't think she is going to change it whatever you say from now until june.
jason
She may be right - time will tell (no marriage / no commitment)....Good Luck !
tell him to meet your mom and tell him to persude her
