Well for starters I am 20 years old and I live in Minnnesota. I have seen the same girl for 2 years and 22 days alright... so I play college football but am also very musical. both singing and playing the piano, in fact thats how I met my girlfriend which we will name her 'LU". It was my junior year in highschool and we were just rapping up with a choir rehearsal, when I was starting to walk to the door I noticed a girl in the corner of my eye. she looked like she was ready to cry her eyes out. so without hesitation or thinking about what I was doing my heart dropped and I rushed over to her and gave her the biggest hug without saying one word to her before that. as soon as we touched she lost it and all I could say is its going to be alright. I quickly asked what is your name? and she replied LU. I said are you alright and she said no and then we talked and I said she needs to stay with somebody tonight cause what she told me was that her mother left for st. cloud every weekend to see her boyfriend, her father lives with his parents and was very abusive and a drunk when her parents where married. and she just couldnt handle being alone anymore, so I said hey why dont you stay with my friend amy tonight and amy agreed so thats what happend. I didnt think much of it at first but then I realized that she had started to come to the races where me and my best friend drag raced. then I found out that her best friend liked my best friend. so we all started to hang out during the summer and I started to email and call. soon close to the end of summer sept. 1 she called me at my best friends house and asked if I could come over and I was like yeah. so I went over there and she was like I havent told you this cause I was afraid that you would run or something, but that day in choir when you gave me that bear hug and showed that you cared for me even though you didnt know me, I thought that was amazing. and wanted to thank you cause that night I was going to go home and kill myself! im just going to stop there for a second to tell you from that point on when she told me that I felt that it was from god that we were suppose to be together... so we spent the whole night talking and I finally got the nerves to ask her to be my girlfriend, which to my joy she said yes. we went through my senoir year loving eachother very much and growing deeper and deeper in love with eachother. we got to the point were the whole year we had been "messing" around but never had sex. we both were eachothers first kiss and soon we took eachothers virginity. that was something speacial to me cause I would never had done that if I didnt think that she was the one for me to be with for the rest of my life. we got to the end of my senior year and it was really hard for her to know that I was going off to college next year even though its only two and a half hours away from home. so I made it clear that I was going to stay true to her by buying a frikin expensive promise ring and told her that I wouldnt look at another girl the same way that I looked at her and you know what I ment that and kept that promise the whole way through. I believe that I was a good boyfriend who was always there when she needed me. I helped her with payments on things when I really didnt have money, I took care of her when she was sick (including unplugging the toilet that she clogged with her vomit! yeah I took care of that and cleaned her up), I was there when her uncle was sent to the hospital for suicide things, when her mom was being a ... I was there and I did everything I could to make her happy. so then the next year comes and its my freshman year in college. she finally got a job back home and was really excited about it cause she hadnt had one before. so I was really happy for her. she told me she made friends which is good cause when I met her she had like two she was very insecure about herself. everything was going fine until her best friend started to work with her, cause you see her best friend who has never had a relationship with a boy before, and always lives off of L... I didnt get along with her best friend. so then when LU started to make friends she started to make friends that were boys too. I was ok with it cause you need both boy and girls that are friends I have bath why cant she you know but something didnt feel right about this kid named tyler. she talked about him all the time and how fun he was and how much he was like me. they all started to hang out, her bestfriend, LU, tyler, and pat. as the year went on I came home to see her when I could but I have class all week long and then football games on saturday so it wasnt very often in the fall. she just kept hanging with these two guys and her best friend. OH by the way when LU and I started to date she asked me to stop being friends with a girl she knew I had feelings for in the past, and as much as I hated it at the time I believed in me and LU and our love for eachother. so football ends and all of a sudden she just wont shut up about tyler and its really starting to piss me off. you know tyler said this and tyler did that it was really getting to me that she was talking to me her boyfriend about another guy. we started to fight over it cause she didnt think it was a big deal. then out of no where even though I have done everything in my power to keep happy she decideds to take a break with me cause of my family and cause she had feelings for tyler. she broke up with me the week of finals and a week before I came home for a month. so then I come home and I really want her back you know and we talk about it and such and she was like your right I dont know what I was thinking I love you so much you are so good for me. and so after a week and a half we are back together again. This time I said if your going to be with me, you have to let tyler go just like I let amanda go for you and she was like you got it, but then two weeks later she was like its so hard to see him at work look at me and be sad. and she was like im not strong like you are and I cant give my friendship up with him, im sorry that I made you do that with amanda cause now I know how hard it was. so I was like ok you can be friends cause I love her and she has been telling me that we are perfect for eachother, we fit eachother, she loves me and wants to be with me forever. so I started to believe it cause one I felt god told me that day that we were suppose to be together and nothing will change that. so I was like ok and we went on loveing eachother and me helping her when she needed me. we also had a lot of sex from this point on to the extent that her mom got her birth control. I loved LU so much! I would do and still would do anything for her. so we go through that year it had its ups and downs and she was still hanging with her friends but not talking to me about him anymore so that was good.this last summer was amazing, we worked and then we were together. we did things like looked at things for our apartment and talked about how we were going to be in the same dorm cause I was going to leave my college to go where she went. and like the year ended great. it got to our 2 year anaversery and I took her to st. cloud to a hotel and we went to the mall and it was just really a night to remember! she told me that she loved me again and that there was no one else in her life. god I love that women. so then I had to return to college to go to training camp for football again. the whole summer she really spent with me and not tyler. when I went back her tyler and her best friend we going to movies and such and I was ok but still kinda worried about it cause like I knew she use to like him and stuff... then it went from going to movies to having movie nights at eachothers houses one saturday it would be at her best friends and the other her house and the other tylers house, oh and a kid that I dont know started to show up and I just found out that her best friend is dating that kid now. but yeah so I was really worried about it cause I love this girl with all my heart I gave her everything and I thought she loved me back. but then after one of my games I decided to make a surprise visit up north to see her. I knew they had the movie night and all so I called her half way and thinking she would be excited she answerd well I will have to ask my friends. so she called her best friend who at this point hates me cause I dont think that its right there are two guys and two girls just hanging at eachothers houses until 12-1 in the morning and her best friend said if he comes I wont show up. and so she called me and said she wont show up if you do and if she doesnt show up then dusty wont show up and if dusty dont show p then tyler wont show up so nobody will come. I was shocked but was like ok well I will just wait until your done ok what time will you be done and she was like 12-1 and iwas liek well I have to go tomorrow at 8 and so its not that bad I guess so I waited until one and she didnt call and so I called and said whats going on and she was like well we started another movie and wont be done till three and iw as sad but like alright I will wait for you until three then three roled around and no call so I called her again and she said the her best friend put in another movie and iwas like are you kididng me and was pissed and actually started to cry alittle and she was like its not that big of deal so then I was pissed and I was like fine dont even come see me and she was like well I want to. and so she showed up at my house at 5 and I was crying I was pissed I was like what the hell it never goes this long and she was like it just did and I was like thats really suprising seeings that I just came home for one night and you do that and she hugged me and told me she was so sorry and kissed me and held my hand sat on my lap with her legs wrapped behind my back and she told me how much she loved me. so then we went to her house to sleep for three hours. and when I had to leave she told me she loved me and needed me and stuff so I felt a little better but still not ok. so then the coming monday I called her in between classes and I said something still doesnt feel right about what happend on saturday and shewas like I dont know I was ok with it and like I couldnt put my finger on it until she said well something happend. and I said what and she said well while I was watching the movies me and tyler were poking eachother and ended up holding hands and I was like what the hell cause she came over and told me she loved me and she was sorry adn she has been telling me I complete her and stuff and that she wants me foreever and she did this? wow I was really hurt and she was like well I want to talk about this in person and I was like do you have feelings for him and she was like yeah and I as like do you love me and she was like yeah but not in the same way. so I was like well if you like him you cant be with me so we had to end it there. iwas completely devistated! I loved this girl so much I did everything I could to make her happy. and she does this to me. so two weeks later I come home for a wedding and I meet her at the gas station to get my stuff from her and give her stuff back she lost it and told me she loves me and needs me in her life she just has had feelings for tyler since the first time we broke up and has been trying to hold them down but just couldnt anymore. and she was like I love you so much. and started to cry and came and gave me this huge hug. ok so I thought well maybe she does really love me and jsut is confused on what she really wants cause he is there to be with her and I am at college she is 17 by the way. so I get home and by buddie says to me on msn man I couldnt be you and still be alive right now and iwas like what do you mean, and he was like look at her a social site and iwas like ok so I did and it said mind you this is two weeks out from our relationship "I love kisses from TY!!" wow what the hell! she jsut got done telling me she loves me and cares for me and needs me but she is making out with a kid after a two year relationship that ment so much to me and I know it ment a ton to her she will admit that to you. but now she is with him and I am left here thinking what happend cause she went from I love you and kissing me to I love tyler and kissing him? I am so crushed cause I lvoe this girl and want her back in my life! is she confused? does she know what she wants? should I want her back? what can I do now? like she hasnt called me I have been the one to call her. she emails and texts my friends still to tell them what happend and stuff but now she acts like I never existed! I seriosly want her back so bad cause I know that the lvoe was real and I also know that her best friend really likes tyler and hates me. and I am at college and he is there at work and at school and at now home. can I get her back! I loved this girl with all my heart and never once gave her a reason to stop loveing me. she told my friend that she just woke up one day and thought tthat she didnt love me the ways she use to and now she is doing things and has another boyfriend in under a month. I miss her cause we had a lot of fun together, she completed who I was, and at the beginning from the beginning I knew she was the one for me. do I look at this as she is young and confused or do I look at this as something else and that I should totally move on even though she tells me she still loves me and cares for me and needs me in her life but wants to try to date tyler?
LOOK IMA GIVE IT TO you STRAIGHT UP...
SHE NEVER WAS INLOVE WITH YOU. SHE LOVED YOU AS A FRIEND/PARENTAL FIGURE (maybe).. for you were always there for her taking care of her and shit...
BUt honestly ...
I THINK SHE USED YOU.. I have seen girls do this a lot.. they know how the guy feels about them so they manipulate it to their advantage .. she gets you to spend mad money on her.. pay her bills.. get her a place to stay..
SHE DEFINATLY CHEATED ON YOU.. the moment she started talking about tyler and sH*t .. THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A SIGN.. for if she was inlove with u .. she wouldnt b tlking abt how amazing another guy is (unless he is gay & that is totally different)...
ALSO THOSE MOVIE NIGHT = WERE REALLY HOOK UPS... AND THE FIRST SIGN THAT THOSE WERE HOOKUPS.. had to be the moment she would hang out there for until 1-2 and didnt even call you ..
ANOTHER SIGN THAT SHE WASNT INLOVE WITH U.. the moment she let her best friend talk crap about you.. and not tell her it wasnt alright...for that showed she didnt really respect you!
PLus did she even return the ring?? if she didnt that proves my whole theory.. for regardles of whether or not you told her to keep it. she shoulda felt guilty and given it back to you...
SHE GOT WHAT SHE WANTED FROM YOU ..SO SHE MOVED TO ANOTHER MAN..
IM telling you this so you know you shouldnt even think about that b1T*h unless if your thoughts consist of what a f*** manipulating w*0r3...
AND YOUR IN COLLEGE NOW.. YOU CAN FIND A GIRL WHO ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT YOU.. AND WOULDNT PLAY YOU LIKE THAT... YOUR STILL YOUNG!!!
BUT IN CASE YOU DO FIND URSELF WITH QUESTION TO WATCH OUT FOR..
LET ME GIVE you THE DL :
if she accepts money/asks for it/implys that she wants something= wonder if she is using you??
if she talks about a guy a lot(dts not gay)= wonder if she is cheating?
If she doesnt want you to be at some place or around her friends= wonder what she is hiding?? and SHOW UP!!!
If she lets her friends/family tlk crap about u= does she even respect you?
If her best friend hasnt had a boyfriend ever and lives of your girlfriend= wonder is her best friend gay?? and is there something going down ???
if your girl isnt rushing to f**k your brains out after being away= she is cheating !!! and who is giving it to her??
IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER QUESTIONS ..JUST ASK ME!!.. IM GOOD WITH RELATIONSHIP ADVISE..
WOW that was long!!!
You 2 are both young and obviously she doesn't know what she wants. I don't think there is anything further for you to discuss with her. Although I know you have a great story of how you met and it prob breaks your heart every time you think about that and you think about the time you spent together, you really need to move on. It's almost as if she needed you to help guide her through some rough times she was going through and now that you have helped her she is sturdy on her own. I am sure there are moments where she will be upset because of another broken heart or something else going wrong in her life, just know that when that happens you can be there for her again, but only as a friend.
She will change and you will change you will never know for good or for bad but you will know if when you 2 change whether it's changing to be closer or changing to be separate.
Enjoy life, you will have your next love story come soon too you, and it will be better then the first.
You helped her during her tough times and when there's more, she will look for you. She knows that you love her and will do anything to make sure she is on her feet, and as a friend, that is what you should do; it cannot go further. You told her how you feel now just step back and give her time to look at the situation. The distance definately plays a huge toll and she's trying to decide between two of the men she loves; the one whos here or the one whos there. You did a great job as a boyfriend but now you have to become a friend and just a friend until she decides what she really wants. If she says she loves you, she loves you, but that does not mean shes in love with you. Give her time, but dont wait around. Good luck.
I don't think you should decide what you're going to do until you thoroughly talk to her about everything, you need to get your thoughts and feelings out to her so you know exactly how you feel about everything. See what she says and go from there. See where you stand.
that was so long but interesting. She cares for you and that is why she says she loves u. but she is probably not IN love wit you like before. My advice is to leave her, she disrespected you and if you continue to be wit her you will cause urself more pain. Good Luck
That has got to be the longest ...Thing...I have ever read...
Lol (Only read half sorry)
Well obviously you want her for yourself, but if she can't decide if she wants you or Tyler. Then stop hurting yourself and her, and just leave her alone.
Man all I have to say is DAMN I am so sorry
that is a really tough situation.
I can't even begin to give some advice.
Hope it works out for you and you come out of this landing on your feet
yeah. talk to her. I mean, if she liek tyler, she lieks him. shes younger than you. I think the distance between you guys is making it worse also. if you love her. you love her.
DAMN!!! LONG but yeah tell her to fuck her self and ignore her for like a year then final talk to her it might work it did for me.
wow this story is so sad...:(