How do you get over someone you love?

I like this girl. And I mean really like. More than anyone I’ve even liked before. The only problem is, she’s my best friend and she’s straight (which I though I was until recently). She said that she thought it was best that we didn’t talk that much while I tried to get over her, which we both agreed I should do. But part of me doesn’t really want to get over her, of course, as loving someone is like the best feeling in the world, so that is kind of holding me back. So I was wondering if anyone has any pointers, tips on how to get over her? I really need to; her friendship is way more important to me than a feeling I didn’t choose to have. Please help?

Answer #1

Its a good thing that your deciding to rid yourself of the feelings you have of her. Such an off balance in affection can be detrimental to a friendship.

It helps to realize that the feelings you have for her aren’t respecting her boundaries. While you may like her, that doesn’t mean that you have to make the moments with her uncomfortable with her. Take into account how she feels about all of this, yes this may feel wonderful for you bit doesn’t feel equally wonderful for her at all. If you want to maintain the friendship, set up some boundaries between the two of you. This shows that you value her as a friend and you won’t let your feelings get in the way. No one said it’s easy but if you want to be her friend then this is probably the most reasonable choice.

Try to figure out specifically what it is you like about her. Since she’s your best friend then obviously this is going to pose a challenge. If you like just her physical attributes then these types of feelings won’t last very long and you can try to get rid of them faster. If it’s on an emotional level then that can pose a major issue, the fact that she is your best friend makes things more complicated. Keep in mind that she is your best friend and you don’t want to lose her because of feelings she stirs up inside of you.

Try to keep in contact with her, yes I do realize that you should be doing the exact opposite of that, I don’t agree. Having her company consistently can end up boring you to the extent that you might just not like her as much as you do. This may backfire on you but it’s worth a shot. Remember to respect her boundaries as a friend. If it does backfire on you then your best bet is to stay away from her until you can work out your real feelings and try to cope with them.

More importantly, keep in mind the outcome of what might happen if you linger with these feelings. You might end up losing a close friend of yours for no good cause. This isn’t solely about you, it’s about her as well. If you can, talk to her about what she feels about all of this and try to get some groundwork done so you both can work on this. You will need her perspective of this (which is what I mean when I said you both need to work on it).

Hope this helps. Value the friendship you have! Good luck!

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