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How do I forgive and forget?

I was friends with a girl called Amberliegh for a good few years and we were very close.Then 3years ago i was sexually attacked. I didnt tell anyone for weeks until i was scared i was pregnant….so i told her. When i finally told my mum days before going back to school i was banned from going back to school on the first day back as it was too soon.The day i went back everyone was treating me different. I was confronted 3 times that day and asked if the ‘humors’ were true.She told everyone and carried on everyday i went to the police she kept everyone updated what was happening.After a while i realised it was her and confronted her.She then left and goined the popular group and never spoke to me again. Ever since iv been carrying the pain and cant get rid. I know i have to forgive and forget if i want to stop feeling the pain but i dont know how? Is it normal to feel like this?

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Answer #1

Wow, I’m so sorry you had to find out that way, that she was not a friend. That’s something thats hard for me to do to forgive and forget esp when it’s someone close to you like that, cause if it wasn’t someone close to you it prob wouldn’t matter that much. I think it just takes time as your life goes on and gets better there will be no reason why you would wanna remember. I’ve been trying to do the same with someone very close to me.. and it’s not easy, only time can tell when your ready.

Answer #2

There is no requirement to forget. You may remember as long as you like, and you have no requirement to trust her ever again. In fact, I don’t think you should forget and be her friend again. You should forgive her, though. What she did was stupid and completely inconsiderate, but you cannot say you are 100% innocent of doing anything stupid either. To make it easier to forgive, I focus on how I’m not perfect either, and if I did something stupid like that, I would want to be forgiven.

Answer #3

Forgetting is something that I don’t believe many can do, even for someone you greatly love, you simply can’t just wipe your mind of something. To forgive is possibly one of the hardest thing ever. Realize that we’re all human we make mistakes, does not make what she did exactly excusable, but realize that no one is perfect. Try focusing on the present, how much better you are doing without her. You thought she was your best friend, when indeed she was not. Now that you know, and have moved forward without her, you can now surround yourself with real friends. Realize that when you finally forgive her, you will find yourself happier and more at peace. Try your best to keep your mind from the past and from dwelling on it. Look towards the future and how freeing it will be when all your anger towrads her is released. This is a long process, often takes a long time to finally forgive someone especially when they are close.

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