these are acts of kindness rather than ´favors` really. what about if your neighbor constantly needed help cleaning her apt for free? what if 10 of those nice old neighbors (each of whom you were friendly with) `needed` your help? what if all of them needed you to take them to the airport or the grocery store? what if they needed their yard cut? people who don´t have money or are not necessarily hit up constantly for favors BECAUSE they are seen as not having much. more prosperous people, however, have these problems all the time. and each person doing the asking often feels he is the ONLY one asking for anything. however, as i said, i do understand where you are coming from and acknowledge that you are probably a member of the 99% rather than the 1%. thanks for the feedback.
or the friendship must go because one of you does most of the asking while the other does most of the giving. i think you got it reversed: it is with "favors"that there is an unwritten contract of codependancy. the exchange of money eliminates. the askee gets to feel that his time has not been wasted, and the asker does not have to live with the knowledge that you will one day ask for the favor to be returned. it is the imbalances that come into play that destroy relationships. money is one of the most useful things you can exchange with another person ( unless, of course, you do not have any). though i disagree with you, i can appreciate where you are coming from.
i guess it depends on the kind of favors and the people doing the asking. i have found that your way is good when all of you are at a similar point (financially, spiritually, emotionally, etc) in life. however, if you are the person perceived as having "more"of something, then you will have more people asking to consume your time for free. and if you have money, high self esteem, a great job, and countless other resources, then it creates an imbalance in the relationship if they can never return the favor.
If it's a favor, it doesn't have to be returned. The whole idea of giving, and doing something that has NO PAYBACK - is what you seem to be missing. If my neighbor falls on the ice and I help to pick her up, I expect nothing in return except appreciation. If she slips five more times, I'll pick her up five more times, regardless of whether she has given me 6 tomatoes from her garden or 1, or zero.
kindness and appreciation are not enough when you want to deeply participate in ALL that the world has to offer. you need time and money for these things. but i can agree with you that money is not the ONLY way someone can repay you. but over time, too much bartering and trading becomes taxing. eventually you will need money to get you what you truly want. thanks for your participation.
Well, here's the problem. With an exchange of money for services there is an unwritten contract. You do this, and I pay you that. But if you do less than what was specifically requested, I have the right to withhold your payment until you get it right. You may disagree and there goes the friendship because you've turned it into a business transaction.
I never said accepting money defeats the purpose of helping someone. I said asking for money defeats the purpose (...because, like I said, I feel like that's rude). Favors are supposed to be acts of kindness, in my opinion. If someone doesn't want to put in the time or energy, then it's not like they have to.
It's disappointing that, in today's world, currency is thought of to be more important than just the good feeling you get of helping someone in need. It's important to remember that money is not the only way someone can repay you. Appreciation and true kindness has a value greater than currency.
I enjoy helping people, and if they offer to pay me, I never accept. However, If I know them, I like for them to remember what I've done and be willing to help me sometime if I could use it. I operate that way all the time with friends and nieghbors around here, it's a pretty good system.
I enjoy doing favors. I like feeling like I helped someone though, I dislike people helping me. I rarely ask for favors or for help. I simply don't believe everything in life should have a price, I don't like putting a price on a person based on their usefulness.
I enjoy doing favors. I like feeling like I helped someone though, I dislike people helping me. I rarely ask for favors or for help. I simply don't believe everything in life should have a price, I don't like determining a person's value on their usefulness.
Depends on your morals and if you believe in karma. If your morals are based around being nice to people, an you think good karma will come back to you, then do it as a favor. But if u feel u deserve to be paid, then get your money :D
That's true -- I don't get asked for a lot of favors haha, and the only people who really ever would ask me for one would be people I'm close to, so it's usually not a big deal because I know they would do the same thing for me.
Generally I think the whole point of a favor is to help someone out. I feel like it would be rude to expect or ask for money in return. I mean, I feel like it would almost defeat the whole purpose of helping the person out.
good point. also, probably you are not asked for THAT many favors, so doing them still does not really bother you. make sure never to outgrow your current group in any way, and you will be just fine! thanks for the input.
I like doing favours for people, not to get anything in return. A thanks will do, I just like to be helpful and make other people lives easier.
What is this, a gameshow? What's the point in asking a question if you're just looking for a debate?
If you do a favor for someone.one day you may be re payed in a way which money cant not be measured
how does accepting payment for your time and energy defeat the purpose of helping another person?
because i enjoy debate and dialogue, both of which often require a question to be asked.
isn't it better to just exchange money so that everyone is off the hook in the future?
Favors are like 'lying up treasures' - they don't go unnoticed by who Really counts !
good answer. and we must not forget that money is an important element of karma.