ex wife

Okay well I will start off by emphasising how good it is that you have not blamed yourself here. These problems are quite obviously hers and it seems as if she is manufacturing more and more of them over time. I do hate to bring up the possibility of mental illness, but unfortunately these are symptoms which I have witnessed before (I cannot remember what the possible illness is; sorry) :(. But, this is no time to speculate.

What you need to do is find a way to speak your mind to her. If she isn’t speaking to you and it is getting harder and harder for you to communicate, then what I suggest you do is write her a letter. Letters are very personal and it would be a great way to speak your mind to her. You may wish to type it up, just in case she tries to discard your letter, etc, but handwriting is generally the better option. Explain to her that you really care about her and that despite all of the issues here, you still love her. Tell her everything that you want her to know. By sending a letter (or even an e-mail/ text message), you are giving her the opportunity to hear you out.

As for still loving her, you have nothing to be ashamed of. It would be more childish of you to hate her just because she hates you and the notion of your love would be questionable if you were to snap out of it so quickly. You’re quite obviously a good person and you are going about things in a mature way and it is your ex-wife who is being immature. Unfortunately, part of maturity is recognising/ realising that you have to move on. This woman is mistreating you and can really offer you nothing aside from pain and confusion.

To me you sound like a deep guy and someone who wants a partner to share your life with. Sadly, I doubt that your ex-wife is ever going to be that partner. Try to realise how distant she is. She cannot act in such an ‘on and off’ manner and expect you to wait for her. She is hurting you and although divorce probably makes this clear enough; you do deserve better. Look at the negative aspects of your relationship with her and how much it is impacting on you. Don’t think about her… Think about your lovely children and maybe findind that partner you’ve always wanted. Good luck :)!