Commitment

slow down there…first of all I dont have a girl friend…the only girl I ll ever be with is my wife which is about 10 years from now…I just want to correct my erroneous nature thats all…

but there is no problem people…I just cant find myself restricted to one girl…but I really want to…and for this reason I dont talk much with girls either

Exactly. You need to find out why you are like this to solve the problem. It could have been a bad relationship, your parents, etc. You have to get to the root of the problem if you want to fix it.

Then you could just be a very selfish person and the problem lies within yourself. You didn’t say that you were commitaphobe just now - you said you can’t see yourself being with just one girl. There is a difference. You sound like you want you cake and you want to eat it too. You want to be a player. You want all the girls you can get. Which can be fun for a while - but ultimatly it will leave you lonely, or with a bunch of knocked up baby mama’s and a couple of STD’s.

Anytime, but don’t be someone you’re not. Think about things first. Just because you may want a relationship in the future doesn’t mean you will want one right now. Rushing into something could end up hurting your partner and perhaps even you. Like I said, take some time and I’m sure you’ll make the right choices for yourself. Good luck :)!

What is it about ‘commitment’ that scares you?

thanks

ya may be you guys are right…may be I should find someone to be with…thanks a lot

In this case it seems like you have identified the issues you are having. It does not seem to me as if you are actually scared of commitment. My interpretation of all of this is that you simply are not looking for one. There is a difference between not wanting something and being scared of something.

In your case, why don’t you sit down and do some deep thinking about what you want in life? mandyloo got it right when she said that when we’re young a lot of our experience will later only be viewed as pracise. Like making a draft before you actually paint the big picture. Think about what it is that you want in life right now and do not simplify any of it. If you don’t want to be in a relationship then why be?

We all aspire to be popular with the opposite gender (well most of us) and hence we think of sleeping with lots of people and not being stuck with one person. This is a phase that the majority of us grow out of. In your case, it may be that you just need time to experience things while you can before you actually start to settle down. Not wanting a relationship is not something you should be ashamed of. We’re all looking for different things in life.

I say give yourself time and do plenty of thinking along the way. Experience things and from there decide what you want in life. Maybe you won’t ever want a commitment at all. You just never know. Take time and let what you experience in life aid your thoughts as to what you want in life. Don’t rush in with an aforethought that you are going to want to spend the rest of your life with ‘one’ person at any point. Let time and your experiences tell you that. Hope that helps :)!