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Attention all animal lovers! Why am I still grieving??

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2006 was probably the worst year of my life. I lost 2 cats in that same year, within months of each other! One died of renal failure, and the other of some sort of throat cancer. stories of each one below

Reagan ("Miss Ray Ray")- I adopted her from PetSmat because she was going to be euthanized by mid-July. She was VERY sickly. She was serverely neglected and abused before I got her. Someone just abandoned her in a garage. So she wheezed and vomited often, and lost literally handfuls of fur at a time! She got better- MUCH better as a few months went by. You wouldn't have believed she was the same cat! We grew extremely close, I'd come back from school in tears, and she'd jump right on my lap or follow me around until she could be with me alone. Then, in November, she started acting lethargic and I took her to the vet. But I was far too late. I stayed up with her all night long until after midnight as I slowly watched her die, knowing nothing I could do would save her. The next morning, I cancelled her follow-up appointment...

Fluffytail ("Foofy")- I don't have enough room to tell you the number of "adventures" we had! I grew up with him, and he was my only friend. We found him outside one day, and he decided to stay. He was mistreated, but he never left. It's like he knew I needed him, and the same for him. Granted- he was getting old. But I failed to realize that no one lives forever. One day I called for him- rather than faithfully running to me like always, he lay in a pile of leaves. I thought he was dead then, but he wasn't. It was the longest night of my life. No comment on why he didn't get to the vet's that night, but he didn't. But I BEGGED, and eventually he did- the next day. We waited, and finally they told us that he had an un-removable tumor in his throat. We had him put down, but I never stayed for the actual procedure. They had to sedate him JUST to EXAMINE him! I said my goodbyes, but left before they actually ended his suffering... ~~~

Given those stories that happened two years ago, is it normal to still be missing them to this day?? I STILL cry about them both. And find myself thinking that their deaths were all my fault. And a special note about Fluffytail (I gave him that name when I was three, BTW)- I regret not staying with him to the end. He'd always stuck by me, through thick and thin. But I couldn't simply stay for his last moments on earth. Aren't I a real b*tch? Sometimes I really wonder why I deserved them...

But my question IS- Is it normal to still be missing them???