Are the expectations we have of behavior too much?

So I have two kids, my younger son will be six in less than two weeks. In kindergarten where we live (California, United States) there are rules posted in the classroom for conflict resolution. Eg, they say, try to talk it out, be considerate of others feelings, and if you can’t resolve the issue, then talk to a teacher.

It’s pretty similar our expectation here, because, well - we’ve all been through kindergarten ;) So, I expect members to sort it out between themselves nicely, be considerate of others feelings, and if they can’t, then talk to an advisor or administrator.

Earlier today, we had a public complaint from one person about another - that’s never going to make the other person feel good being singled out like that and besides, if that was the first they heard that they did something wrong, isn’t that worse than simply fun mailing the other member about the situation? Eg, don’t air your dirty laundry in public :)

Given that as a backdrop, how do you feel? Is this expectation I hold too much?

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Answer #1

I think you meant cant talk about self harm and yes I agree with that

Answer #2

me too.

Answer #3

I think it isnt to much. It is quite possible for people to work things out amongst themselves. The rules are quite easy to follow…granted there will always be a few that find them difficult to follow.

Answer #4

This is not too much of an expectation.

Things are always bound to get somewhat messy, especially with a site like this, which withholds a lot of opinions and sometimes people see it as a way to attack others or whatnot…

But again, no. I think you are right. If one posts something right out in the open, they should be willing to risk the possible outcomes of putting it right out there in the first place.

Answer #5

I agree with burningintherain. Not everybody read the kindergarten rules. All to say, I think your expectations are right and that most people are mature enough to deal with conflic privately. On the other hand, some people still need a bit more practice on how to deal with conflict in a mature and peaceful manner. Of course publicly venting out frustration isn’t going to help the matter.

Answer #6

I think it should be the responsibility of the user to accept the consequnces for his/her actions in any given situation. I didn’t hear or see the complaint, but I think it’s a bit unfair for someone to just log a complaint where anyone can see, especially if they haven’t tried one of the alternatives. They could fun mail the person, or funmail an advisor. It’s not that hard and usually takes a cut and paste so you don’t have to do much typing.

Answer #7

I think it’s rude and hurtful to single out a person in a negative way. we all could use use a lesson on appropriate behavior. There is a time and a place to confront difficult situations, and should be in a private manner .Maybe , high expectations will bring about a higher moral code. Just be prepared to be let down once in a while. we are far from perfect . we all use poor judgment at one time or another.