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Thankyou, underwaterophelia, you are the first one that has given me critism. Once more, it was constructive! I am glad you have. It shows that I can recieve that. How exactly can I change it to improve it? I do not mean ANY offence to the other people who have answered, I am glad you answered. But any tiny little thing helps. Thankyou,
Britz
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What do you think of this poem?
 
Thankyou. Thankyou. I am glad to find support on this site.


What do you think of this poem?
This poem is a bit different to my usual style, it is a freewrite, where I let it flow. It almost doesn't seem like a poem to me, it is so unfamiliar. This is my first attempt at this type of poem. Can you give my your opinions on it? It is titled Never...
Be
I dream of a world where there is no hate,
A place I can escape,
A place to dream,
A place to give in to.
There is no danger,
Yet I feel uneasy.
This world does not seem real, somehow.
I am waiting for the mistrust that will never come,
The hate that will never arrive.
This world is good, pure, beautiful.
Filled with flowers, nature, and peace.
Then why do I feel so uneasy?
This world makes a sound,
A sickly sweet sound,
A sound of uneasiness in my opinion,
But why is it so uneasy?
Why, I ask?
Because this world cannot be real,
It is a dream, I will never feel comfortable.
I will never be.
Thanks for reading,
Britz.