Should I let my son have a myspace?

My 12 year old son wants a myspace very bad. I refuse. His internet activities are closely watched and he has several limitations. Sometimes I have to overide just so he can get into sites with game code cheats. He is blocked from ALL live chat. I would not even let him get an account here. Any questions he has, he can ask me. He asks me every other day to let him have a myspace account and tells me I can check it, I can have his password, he won't use bad language, etc. I answer him with, 'That discussion has been closed.' So what do you think? Should I allow him on a trial basis or stand my ground?

I have had a myspace for about 4 years. it is a fun site, a place to meet people, but safety terms and other things of that origin are guarded closely. I think that your son probably just wants a little freedom, and, with all due respect, probably needs some.

This is copied directly from the myspace terms of service:

Eligibility. Use of and Membership in the MySpace Services is void where prohibited. By using the MySpace Services, you represent and warrant that (a) all registration information you submit is truthful and accurate; (b) you will maintain the accuracy of such information; (c) you are 14 years of age or older; and (d) your use of the MySpace Services does not violate any applicable law or regulation. Your profile may be deleted and your Membership may be terminated without warning, if we believe that you are under 14 years of age.

Hm, well - for FunAdvice, the minimum is 13, not 12...so, even if you thought it was OK for him to get an account here, we'd have to delete it

My older son is 6 (he'll be 7 in December) so I don't have this type of discussion...yet I'm sure I will one day though.

I wouldn't let my son have an account at any social networking site, until he was older (13...maybe...maybe not) and if he did, I'd make sure I had the keys to it, to ensure that he wasn't doing anything that he wasn't supposed to be doing.

Protective much? Yep, for good reason, in my opinion. We block stuff on the internet, have a filter in place, etc, etc. The kids use a different computer, too, with more safeguards on it, and they only visit kids sites, like hotwheels.com, nickjr.com, etc.

Myspace requires you to be at least 14. Kids lie, though. My son uses the family computer in the living room where we can see him and he has a separate account that has safeguards, locks, etc. He does not have the password to our user accounts and we do not have the guest account on. He just won't leave me alone about this myspace thing. He says all his friends have them (I don't ever fall for that one) and I can have full access to his account. His friends have secret ones, though. I won't budge. My answer is still no. I wanted to see what other people would say. Thanks, thedude.

im a parent and a myspacer I can honestly say myspace is what you make of it and what your on there for ... I think that the age restrictions for myspace are to young what is it 13 I think they should move it to 16 and above it can be dangerous especially if there are un aware of whats going on in the world .or there not educated on what to watch out for ...id say wait till hes much older ...missv

I think that you shouldn't let him have a myspace but let him have a live chat acount. It would be different if he used bad language and stuff but if he doesn't then at least let him have live chat
I wouldn't let him have a myspace I've heard a lot of bad things about them

Well, you are suppossed to be...14 years of age (I think) to join MySpace. Also, most kids don't even ask their parents, so you obviously raised your son very responsibly. I say that that site should be taken down. There are a ton of things happening off of that site. Children are being found, people are getting hurt, its just so sad. :'(. I do however suggest, giving him a site like IMVU.com to have. Or, since he is 12, I suggest WeeWorld.com--haha, its a site for kids to have, they can talk--But there are people who are members that work and delete accounts of people using innapproate launguage. You can still add friends, and ALL messages are viewable by EVERYONE no matter what, so, you can even check up on him. For something more...childish, there is a site called ClubPenguin.com, make a penguin and Igloo, in a moderated virtural word. But,on that, at least give him the freedom to type what he wants, instead of selecting. Obviously, your son wants a Myspace because of all the people at school. 12 is the age where a lot of parents arent as protective. Why? I dont know, lol. I honestly don't think that you seem to give him much online freedom, All due respect. I just don't think you should budge on this.

Thank you all so much. I do not allow him to have a myspace, but I would allow him a myspace account a million times over before I allow him chat live. In fact, as long he lives in this house, he will not be allowed to chat online.

Thank you metalhead. I know he wants some freedom and yes, he may deserve some. But I decide which areas he can have more freedom and live chat is just not one of them. Maybe I can find him something along the same lines as myspace, just more age appropriate. I did not feel disrespected by your answer. I appreciate all feedback.

coming from a younger person(I'm 14)
I'd wait till he's 14. I was on there when
I was 12 and I got hit on by like 20 year
olds. there are a lot of creeps on there.
saying this. he is a boy and I know this
is sexist but myspace is a lot
safer for boys. but you would still want to
moniter him. maybe make yourself an acount too.
that's the only way I let my mom let me have one
hope that helps.

Thank you deadwishesx3. It does help. I did have a myspace account once before. I didn't care for it much. It seems like it would be more appealing to a younger crowd.

im 15 and have myspace
you do know you can set your profile to private and onli talk to people you know?
thats what I do
safe ... I onli accept invites of people I know

Honestly Monica, I dont think myspace is a bad thing. Its just something that your kid needs to know can be risky. Id recomend you dont make him any promises, but let him make an account for a few weeks, and watch over it every day. Make sure his profile is set to private and that he adds kids from his school only. Read the comments posted, go to his friends sites, read around, heck, mabye youll even learn something about some of your sons friends that you didnt know. Id recomend that you teach your son a lot about Internet safety, some kids just dont seem to understand how important it is.

In the end its your decision and if you decide to wait a year or two id set up a plan like 'You can have a myspace account on your 14th birthday ONLY if you agree to...and you dont...'

Like deadwish stated, you could always make a myspace account too, mabye post comments on his myspace. That may freak him and his friends out, but if he doesnt want you watching over his shoulder, then he doesnt want a myspace. In the end he needs to learn how to protect himself and I hope you can teach him that

-John Doe

YES

wel. you can make his profile private and watch who he adds as friends. if he only adds people he knows in real life as friends and sets his profile to private then he will be perfectly fine and safe on it. I've had mine for years and by doing that I have never had any problems on it.

Thank you tinseltown, johndoe, ponygirl347347 and I dont no nemore.

I have taught him quite a bit about the great things you can get from the internet and the dangers. This is why I decided against live chat.

I had a myspace account and I guess I don't have a negative opinion of it, I just didn't see the use for myself. All the things I could do on myspace, I could elsewhere. I know lots of young kids love myspace and when my son is online, I am watching him. Sometimes I bring a chair and sit down next to him and ask him, 'What are you looking at here?'. When I had a myspace, there were so MANY kids, some were my son's friends, that would post comments full of the F-word, and talk about things they wanted to do to girls, the profanity was terrible. These kids are 10, 11, 12. Very young. I know he could have a private profile and I could block all html, have all comments be approved before posting and restrict his settings, I just can't get over how these kids get away with some of the stuff they post on each other's pages. My son told me he wouldn't even get to have a cool myspace because of me. Of course I said too bad. It is just hard for me to budge on this. But I really appreciate all of your advice. My son would thank everyone who is on his side!!

yeah basically everyone has myspace.
my ex's little brother has a myspace.
and he's the same age as your son.
I know a few other people that age too that have myspaces.
and if hes willing to let you watch and check his things and everything like that.
I would just let him.
my mom used to make me delete mine ALL the time.
I went through 4 myspaces.
but now she doesn't care.
she trusts me.
its just the other people she doesn't trust.
but I keep my profile private.

Your son is 12 now. I think that you should let him have a myspace account. Why not? He even said that you can check it and that you can have the password. So what is the problem. If you see something you don't like that he is doing then take it away.

Well you can do what my parents did 2 me I AM aloud 2 get 1 but I cant put my name or picture on there and my parents have 2 ok my freinds and im not aloud on the chat that anybody can get on my parents let me do the kind with just my freinds

I have had a myspace before with my friend when I was 13 and we had some one hack into it and did not know I wouldnt let him because me and my friend both had a breakin at our houses while we were home alone so I know it might be hard to say no but it is the right thing to do

Facebook is safer than Myspace - have you explored it ?

I think it would be okay to let him have a myspace. you could have it checked regularly and there is a way to block anyone from viewing anything on his profile without a friend invitation, so he can add his friends and no one else. this way, he gets what he wants, and you can monitor his safety. (and not to mention he wont ask you anymore)
hope this helped

I see NO PROBLEM with myspace.
especially if your kid is willing to give you his pw
create some trust between you guys.
im 17 soon to be 18 and I negotiate with my mama,
all the time
it keeps both of us happy
and makes us both feel as though we have a voice

I UNDERSTAND WHY you WONT LET HIM HAVE A MYSPACE BUT ON MYSPACE you CAN PUT HIS PORFILE ON PRIVATE WHERE ONLY HIS FRIENDS CAN SEE HIS PORFILE and TALK TO HIM SO LET HIM HAVE ONE and MAKE SURE you HAVE HIS PASSWORD and CHECK IT OFTEN IM ONLY A YEAR OLDER THEN HIM and I KNOW WUTS ITS LIKE NOT TO HAVE ONE you KINDA GET MADE FUN OF SO LET HIM TRY IT IF IT DOESNT WORK OUT you COULD ALWAYS CANCEL THE ACCOUNT

monicacharlene ,
I think you should let him have a myspace acount and like he said you can watch everything he does and you can have his password and he can put his profile on private. I have a myspace and I have mine on private and when someone wants to be my friend I have to approve them so yoou can do the same with your son...

Thank you. krissykrunk, valuvsu, julie101, theguynextdoor, bueb536, so0angeliic08, sk8terpunkkid, and jessieluvsjustin.

I do not know what facebook is but I will check it out.

I am aware he could be made fun of, and of course I do not want that to happen. But I wonder why myspace has the rule you have to be 14. There has to be something to that. Remember, my son is 12. Wouldn't I be sending the message it is ok to break some rules and lie? This is a hard one for me. I teach him to follow all the rules and never to lie. How would I explain that this would be an exception?

I have a myspace.
The lowest age is like 14.
but,I lied about my age when I first got it.
myspace is very careful about things like online predators.
he can set his profile to private,so only friends can see it.
and you can block people if you feel they are not appropriate
he shouldnt request to be friends with anyone who he doesnt know.
nor should he accept requests from strangers.

I honestly dont see that much of a problem with it,as long as he knows his limits,and stays within them.

Personally, I found Myspace confusing. Hehe. I hope you don' t think I'm stupid or anything.
But what can come to harm of letting your son have myspace if you have 100% security over it. You can see what he types, who to, what time, what the reply was. If something does happen on it which by the sounds of it wont cause he's being non stopped watched then you can remove the account and punish him.
It wouldn't be backing down, it would be giving him some lee way and if he breaks your trust then he's much further away from getting any trust whatsoever.

First off, I want to congratulate you an being such a protective mother. The internet is a dangerous place, and MySpace is one of the most dangerous sites out there, in my opinion. Even in a strictly controlled environment, kids can get into big trouble (I should know, I managed to do it, even with my mother looking over my shoulder). On the other hand, it could be a good indicator of how well you've raised your son thus far if you allowed him to sign up for a MySpace account (when he is of age, of course). Do exactly as you said you would, though, and give him a bit more freedom when you feel he is ready. My mother raised me just like you're raising your son now, and I believe that it's the best way to bring up a child. You shouldn't feel bad about being so protective. These days, there is no such thing as taking too many precautions, but you can be cautious while still cutting your son a little bit of slack.

you have this thing what example are you setting if he cant have that anyway myspace is a good place to keep in touch with your friends

I know this may be hard to hear from someone who is only 14 but please just listen up. I had trouble with my mom letting me have myspace, but she eventually saw it my way. Myspace is actually very safe, its mostley the smaller internet sites that are the most dangerous. If you are still shaky about it, then get one yourself and add him, so you can monitor what he is doind a bit better. Honestly you are a bit too strict. He will only live once, let him have some fun.

Oh, by the way, if you don't give him a little freedom, he is just going to rebel, trush me, it happened to my cousin. I love her dearly but she has become a wh*re

Well when I was 12 or younger I was trusted to have a myspace.
If you trust your son, then let him have a myspace.
You should be able to control the bad words,adding people he doesn't know,and what he puts on there.
Also if your son gets a myspace.
Make sure you have his password and e-mail.

Well as a parent I can see were you stand on this decision, I am only 13 myself and I can see were it might be a problem but I think myspace is a fun/interactive way to be able to talk to your friends and also make new ones, I will let you know though that it can be a problem with the profanity. people will post bulletins and other things that have it, but myspace is good at keeping up with obscence pictures and other things so you wont have a problem there. but yes I would recommend you let him have one because it is a fun way to meet new people.
Tom

I am 13 and I begged my mom for a myspace...now that I have 1 I don't go on it too much and I'm only friends with people I know because with all the rumors I don't want to even risk it. I love myspace because I can change my layout and its like an altornate e-mail. I use the e-mail to mail a friend that I currently can't e-mail with. I have my profile set to private. and if you want to make sure he's not doing anything get your own myspace and make him add you. my dad is going to that.

yes... you should let him. although make sure that he does not make any friends which he does not know, he doesn't put any personal pics/info on it. and create a different email to log in just in case a hacker gets a hold of it. check it like everyday and just make him feel like he has a little taste of freedom. sometimes when I'm stressed, I write into my blog and it helps me. sometimes its hard to go to your parents and ask for something. a myspace is a big deal though and you should keep tabs on it. I know you are just trying to be a protective parent, but give him some liberty.

I'm 18 years old, and I've had a myspace for the past 3 years. It isn't bad they have several safety features: you can limit the profiles he can see *he will not be able to view 18 and over*. In order for people to ask for a friend request, they will need to know his last name, and if he's offering to give you the PSWD, you can check his daily activity. It's not bad holding some trust within your son, and if myspace doesnt work out, you can always delete the account

if your son has been reele good an I mean reele good and that you trust him not 2 break it or search inaproapiate stuff then you should let him have one

And Myspace usually about music. It's a way to connect with music and bands.
Perhaps this is why he wants to join?
Your son seems to be allowing you to have full access to it.
Passwords, check it whenever. He is promising you that he will be responsible.
Although, MySpace requires you to be at least.
Tell him he has to wait, and if he still wants one, use these as tests of faith!
Your son wants to prove to you how responsible he is and how he can handle himself in a mature matter.
Wait until he is the right age and let him go for it, although I do advise you to have all passwords etc. Talk to him what is acceptable and not. No personal information, nothing even hinting at location, age, or anything. If you find even the slightest bit of personal information or find him talking to people he shouldn't be, tell him the account goes down.
Make is private so that only his friend and the bands he may have added as friend can communiate and see his profile.
Don't let him put in real birthdays/age/location etc.

yes you should so I can chat with him oh oh oh yeah im going to let him put it up my but ummm

look at it from his point of view. he just want to talk to his friends online. most of the people on myspace are kids his age. tons of people under 14 have them. there is a feature that makes your page private so only hos friends can view his page. he can choose who to accept as a friend. myspace is safe if you know how much info to give. trust him but verify that he is telling the truth about the things he posts.

I have a baby girl and someday she will ask me for a my space the first time she askes mei wouldsay yes because shehas to learn from her own mistake ipersonolly think that most parents are to clingy just tell him yes

You are way too over protective.
He WILL use live chat of some kind before he moves out. Some websites actually use it as an alternate method of contact. If you refuse to let him use it at all ever, he will just go somewhere else.
I think you should stick to the MySpace rules and your rules and say no to MySpace for now, but maybe let him use another site. Nearly all sites have an option for only friends to be able to view your profile.

yes its not like it's real life. just make sure he don't give to personl info away

well...
im a 14 year old girl and want to use myspace...
everyone has it and keeps asking me if I have it
I have 2 say no because my mum wont allow it...
I think its really unfair...
its enbarassing and I always feel left out...
I think he should be allowed to have it but you could manage it and keep an eye on what happens on it

duh. your son needs a social life. you are a freak for being so strict. the more you limit him, the more he's going to do. he has friends, if he wants one that bad, he'll go to his friends and make one.

im 14 and me and all my friends have myspaces andi am part of a lot other chatrooms there like emails I use them like my email acounts I found my boyfriend on myspace its not that bad
%hidey%

My answer is a deffinte yes. I have a myspace and it could be verry safe. make your son set it on privite so nobody can view thair profile unless he adds them. and that goes for messiges too. then put a last name check on it. this means nobodby can contact him at all unless they know his last name. and the only way he can come in contact with a petofile is if he gives out is peorsonal info. just have a talk with him on using it responsibly and let him have one. there for you both are happy. and you dont have to worry about the dangers.

my cousin just turned 13 he has a myspace... myspace isnt bad people just abuse it... you can make his page private... make it so only people who know his last name can request him as a friend... you can even log on and have a page... pretend to be someone else... and become his friend and keep tabs on his page... plus hes a boy.. be more worried about my daughter then my son...

good luck!
*misfit*

good point...why does myspace have a 14yr age limit?
like 14yr olds are more responsible than a 13yr!
I think 12 is a resonable age to start on myspace.
I love it!
it's great for making friends or just using it to keep in touch with his current friends.
he sounds very trustworthy and you can do the whole private settings stuff.
I agree that if you keep him under strike rules then oneday he'll rebel against them all.
my best-friend in high school had sctrict parent's like you...no offense.
when she left school at 16yr...[only just 16yr]...she moved out straight away and went crazy!
getting drunk everynight...lost her virginity...sleeping around...it shocked me.
where as people I knew that had had less rules at home, when they left school they calmed down and grew up quicker.
strange, but true.

NO I have heard some very bad storys about myspace.

Sorry, but the only thing you doing is making him want to rebel when he gets older. I'm 13 about to be 14. Most of my friends(who are guys are 14 to 15 and older) SO many of us have no freedom that we all rebel. I'm not as bad as I used to be but most of the girls at my school are major sluts and are getting the good guys in trouble. If you keep controlling your son's life like this he will just go off with his friends, find some little chicks, and mess around. I'm not allowed a myspace either and that was a big problem with me and my mom. We are not that far in age so we fight like sisters. When she first said I couldnt have one, I didnt listen and made one. My step-dad threatend to send me back to military school because I did that. Most kids want just a little freedom. Maybe if you let him have facebook, tagged, bebo, or some other site like myspace made for kids. If you back off just a little, I bet you anything that he wont turn out like all these other kids. I wish my mom hadn't been so strict like you are with him because I know if she wasnt, I wouldnt have done most of those things I did. My mom changed and let me have more freedom on my birthday and now I'm a better kid. I think if you treating hi like this now, he wont be any better when he grows up. I'm really trying not to disrespect you in any way but maybe if you just try to listen...

I wouldn't allow it at all. Too many predators lurk in Myspace. And here's the kicker to his 'I'll let you have the password' thing. Myspace lets you have as many accounts as you want. I know many people that have one that they let their friends and family know about, and a separate one for 'other things'. Please don't fall for that.

let him have one. you are being way too overprotective over him, honestly. my parents did the same exact thing to me, I talk to them about twice a year now. and thats the exact reason why. if you dont want your son to despise you for it. you need to be a LOT more lenient on him. and this would be a good start

Hi, I am expecting my first child around early spring, so I'm not really sure what I would do if I had a 12 yr old wanting something like that, but I can say that I have one. It is a very fun site, you pick and add who you want as your friends. My husbands sister is 13 now and she has one too. So far, she has been very loyal to her mom and hasn't been doing anything that would make her mother want to take it away from her.Honestly, your child probably is just wanting to interact w/ people that are his friends from school or something like that. It is very hard to come across porn on myspace b/c they have a thing where if you add a pic showing too much, they will take it off. I would get it and see how things go. One more thing, I dont know if they have changed the age limit, but if they 'supposably' find out your under 16, they'll close the site down. I dont know if that' s true b/c there has been a lot of people I've came across that are only 14/15. My husbands sis though says she's 16, but she only has her friends on her site. Anyways, I am writing too much I'm sure lol, good luck. God bless

well you shoul let you son have a myspace. myspace is fun you can chat with your friends put pics of your self and music. you also can put a thing we it says no one over 18 can contact me and there is a thing we it says that you can put your myspace privet

u should let him lossin up and give the man some freedom just give it a try I no littler kids than that who have my space and chatt on line at like ages 9-up come on hell love you forever more ... lol hope I helped a little bit.

My son is 15, he just turned 15 Dec. 1. Up until this point I have been so against him getting a my space because of all of the horrible things I have heard. My husband and I have been discussing this for a long time and I think we're going to let him have one. There will be terms of course. We will always have his password and if not then it will be deleted. Also, his page will be private and he will only be able to add people he knows, not people other people say they know. He has his own computer but it is right in our living room next to ours so we monitor what they do online very closely. I feel we have taught him right from wrong and he should be allowed a little freedom. He has a friend who has a my space account even though his mom told him no. I would rather my son be honest with me and form some trust. I hope we're doing the right thing, it's so hard being a parent. Good luck, but I would defenitely wait until he is the age my space says he should be. I am a firm believer in teaching our children to follow rules.

yea I am 13 and myspace is awesome but people think it is bad which its not it lets you make good friends and if you like I will be friends with him and plus I think it helps kids to see all the bad people and what they do so they dont do it sometime

Well you have to be 14 to have a myspace..yet I know tons of people who are 10 and have a myspace. I didn't get one til I was 14.

Myspace is not bad. It has a horrible reputation but it isn't bad. If you keep your profile private and only viewable to your friends, it's okay. Only accept friend requests from people you know, only ask people you know to be your friend, don't post really personal things on your profile, and avoid strangers.

All the people that are kidnapped from people they met on myspace...it's because they don't act safely. You only talk to your friends.

Myspace isn't bad. If you use it right, it's fine.

But you have to be 14 unless he lies about his age, and you won't get kicked off for lying either...but I wouldn't advise it.

Just warn him of these safety concerns.

YES!!! almost every single person has a myspace they are like cell phones. if you trust him then let him have one!! it's no worse thenan email!!

Yea Because Your Son Could Hurt Him Self And my 9 Year old daughter has one all you have to do is make it were you have to his email or last name to be his friend or acess his page

yea my daughter has got one and I watch everything that she does its ok. she is thirteen and I watch her real close and you can always go in and check the account...

even tho I am not a parent, I have had myspace for 7 years.
its is a very commonly used site
on the account of myspace you have someone of his friends at school has an account his friend will send him a request saying 'paul would like to add you to his myspace friends accept or decline'if it is someone he knows he can accept like his friends
but other people like stalkers and everything cant be your friend unless he adds them or they add him and he accepts.

Yes let him have one!!!
myspace and facebooks are the collest thing nowa days and all the kids have them

Yes let him have one!!!
myspace and facebooks are the collest thing nowa days and all the kids have them

He can make his myspace private. Wich means only his friends can see his profile.

I believe you should let him have a myspace. I know as a parent you have worries over what could happen; especially with what has happened. My parents used to question me about myspace but I told them I didnt give out my information and I set everything to private which means everything must be approved by me. (friend request, comments, even to see my profile is strict-they have to be my friend.) I think you should let him have a myspace account when he is old enough and if you dont want myspace tell him there's always bebo or tagged

I wouldn't let him some people post primative things and things that you won't want him seeing yet. so I would agree with u. you stand yor ground. no matter how bad he wants it.