What is happening to me?

The fact is that my problem is a little more complicated. In the end, even though I somehow realize there might not be any problem I am still not sure and continue to search for answears. I think (but don’t know for sure) that I suffer of obsessive compulsive disorder. I find this problem a bit more delicate… I have a sick feeling well a girl-friend (but no relation) of mine is pregnant through petting. I didn’t even come or anything, just the fact that I didn’t knew if I somehow arranged my… in my pants and took some seminal liquid on my fingers drives me crazy - but I somehow kinda catch the irrationality of this thing because I didn’t just put my hand in my pants and after between her legs. I just got to bed, started kissing touching and things, undressing etc after that I tried to give her pleasure. So seems kind of irrational knowing that even IF there were sp*rms on my hand I think they wouldn’t have resisted in air. I said I will chill after her first period comes… ok it came and I was chill about 1 week, then everything started again from the start and I started to get paranoid about the same sick feeling. In the meanwhile (after like 2-3-4 weeks after the event) she had to go to a gynecologists because her periods were unregullar in the past and the gynecologist told her everythings ok with her only she is very unregullar. I said I will chill now because she went to the gynecologist and that would be fine. But after 1-2 weeks it started again. I said I will chill after her second period after the event, so I was ok 1 week then started again. She did a pregnancy test only for me, which was negative - I was ok 1-2 weeks then I was bothere when I found she had close periods (but this should have been because she’s unregullar) like at the start of the month, at the end and again at the start of the next month. So 2 months almost have passed since the event and I still don’t know why I can’t get over this. Even though I seem that I realize my problem, I still have to continuos need to get a certain answear from someone. I can’t go to a professional help because I live with my parents, don’t have enough money and they wouldn’t understand my problem. I always think of posibilities: I have heared that there can be periods over pregnancy (why would she have periods so close?! - annoying thought), or about the fact that an extrauterine pregnancy (wouldn’t be detected by a pregnancy test), or about the fact that she might not observe pregnancy simptoms (as I know, some women observe these simptoms only after a while) etc. I would like if some people could give me a piece of advice reffering to my both issues (meaning this girl and meaning this disorder I have (if it is a disorder)), or inter-connect. I don’t know what to do anymore. Some well-constitued help would be really apreciated, because I think this is going really crazy now… Thanks.

Answer #1

I think you could be on the verge of a deep depression. I had the same happen to me but it was about losing control of my actions. I became obsessed that I would not be able to control myself and injure myself. Then It got worse because I could not control my thinking and developed intrusive thoughts. This got me into a deep depression for like two months. I got out of it by exercising, taking large quantities of B vitamins, self help books on meditation and body relaxation.

She is not pregnant and you got the negative results from the pregnancy test. So is all in your head.

I want you to do this. When you start thinking about it say out loud STOP! and slap yourself on the leg then concentrate on your breathing. Like be really aware of your inhaling and exaling. Do this everytime the intrusive thoughts come into your mind. At the start it will only work for a few seconds, but the more you do it the longer it will last. Google body relaxation on the web and try it. It works good if you record yourself and listen on headphones on a total body relaxation exercise.

Answer #2

ok. thank you for your replies, I still haven’t managed this yet… I’m trying to. It seems that I’m a little bit better, but I don’t know for sure. I am extremely confused. I started doing what imunderurbed recomended me and for few periods of time I think I’ve started thinking a little more rational, but I am still very unclear. Sometimes it hits me and it hits me hard, other times I just try to keep my mind concentrated on other things - but the problem is I can’t do anything good, just playing, chat and going out. It seems that it’s harder at night (I have some sleeping problems because of this) and I noticed that when I’m very tired (not sleeping a whole night or so) and/or drinking some alcohol, I am more relaxed over the day or when I just get to sleep. @kaitlynrocks, as I’ve said in the previously post, I am trying to seek some help around this forum because I don’t have enough money to see a professional. I live with my parents and they won’t understand my problem. It seems that for the moment I don’t have any posibility to visit a pro… thanks for the reply anyways. I hope I’ll get over this somehow - it’s very difficult.

Answer #3

from what I read sounds like you are getting into deep depression. please consult your doctor

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