Home More advice Parents & Family
Background: most of the time stacy (54 years old) goes alone to the 99 cent store to buy the clothes. Sometimes she will go with her mom (in her 80‘s). When stacy goes by herself she always comes home with the gorgeous stuff (items from talbot’s, old navy, etc) and her mom loves the stuff that stacy brings home. When stacy goes with her mother her mother comments.
Here are the things her mom says when they go together (1) that is short, you don’t like short” (2)“look it over to make sure it is in good condition” (3) “i only told you that it didn’t look good because you weren’t sure if you liked it or not” (4) “even though it is gorgeous I like the other one better if I was going to wear it” (5) “i do love that turtleneck you picked out but thick turtlenecks bother me” (6) “i only told you what I thought because you asked me if I liked it or not”
However, when stacy goes by herself this is what her mother says when stacy comes home: (1) “i love what you got - I want it.” (2) “i love that and I am going to take that from you” (3) “get me that”
Stacy and her mom will say the following when they are at the 99 cent store: (1) “mom you always make comments” which her mother replied: “i am allowed to say something and I am allowed not to like something” (2) “mom I feel you would have said something about the ones you loved that I brought home if you had come with me on those outings here” which her mother replied “no I wouldn’t have because they are beautiful. And it is your problem if you feel this way, not mine” (3) her mother also says “you really lack self-esteem”
So my question: (1) do you think stacy is overreacting to the comments her mother makes; (2) do you think stacy’s mom would have made comments about the items stacy brought home if her mom had gone with stacy on those outings?
Stacy wants to write a letter to her mother because every time she tries to ask her mother what her mother meant her mother cries and says I don’t feel well.
To me, it appears you yourself stated the solution: >>> When Stacy goes by herself she always comes home with the gorgeous stuff (items from Talbot’s, Old Navy, etc) and her mom loves the stuff that Stacy brings home. <<< - in other words, no conflict...Take care !!
why are there so many different stories about stacy and her mom. Go see a fricken therapist if the situation is botherin you so fricken much!
1) yes, her mother is old and will not change
2) yes, she would have made comments. Stacy has to learn to work around her mother.
