Should I stay or be free?

I love my boyfriend so much. However, I am only 18. We have been together a year and a half. I’m only starting my life. I know that it is not a always good thing to be tied downat my age. I’m going on holidays soon for 7 weeks and I know I will want to be single.

The hard thing is this doesn’t change my feelings for my boyfriend. This is my first serious relationship and I know I will never forget him and always love him. I know that there will be other guys out there for me that is not the problem. Although I do fear what life will be like without him. He is the most loving boyfriend, I can talk to him about anything and we get on great together. He’s from a good family and I know he’s the kind of man I will want to spend the rest of my life with. A part of me just tells me inside that I’m not ready to be settled. Another part wonders if I would be throwing away the best thing that ever happened to me.

Yet I can’t help but think I will regret it if I don’t spend the younger years of my life single and having fun. I really am stuck as to what to do…I can’t decide and it’s killing me. It’s so hard to break up as I know I will hurt him deeply, he will be lost without me. I’m afraid he won’t understand and hate me, think that I just want to be with other men,which is not true.

I think maybe it should be a case of sooner rather than later but something inside is holding me back. And I know that the longer this goes on the harder it will be. I just can’t help but to love him and want him.