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Painfull Memories (Poem)

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Painfull Memories

I just wanna kill myself But I don’t wanna die I’ve been a lot happier lately But I still tend to cry

Life is getting better But my past still really hurts I think about it way to much I just wish It could diverts

I don’t know why I can’t just walk away And never again think about that day But there are some memories that never leave your mind Some memories are here too stay

No one knows the pain I feel Because I always hide my cry They ask me what’s wrong and I say nothing Yea, I know it’s bad to lie

But I don’t need all there sorrow The sorrow I know they’ll give So I just keep it a secrete The secrete I hope they forgive

I know I’ll make it threw life I just need to take one step at a time Soon enough I’ll be alright And I will forever stop my cry

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Answer #1

It’s good, just work on spelling and grammar (: Also poems tend to sound more mature and meaningful if they don’t rhyme - poems that rhyme often sound forced and messy. A good poem has a lot of rhythm. Good luck

Answer #2

It’s really sad, but it’s not sad in a profound way that makes you reflect pensive thoughts or leaves you any wiser or introduces you to the authors wound. It’s just sad in a blatantly “out there” kinda way. Try phrasing your words in an intellectual sense, with originality and flavor. Also, don’t dive too deep in the subject from the beginning, it leaves you with a weary sense of heaviness. Try building up to it subtly.

Btw, I really don’t mean to blow your spot up at all, but I saw “I want to kill myself, but I don’t want to die” on an icon once. Plagarism’s never successful.

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