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my husband thinks i'm cheating on him. i'm not he gets mad when i talk to other men. but has a women friend. i never cheated on him his last wife did.
Dear Sky,
It sounds like you're husband has trust issues. Explain to him calmly and rationally that you are not cheating on him, telling him about your love for him, how deeply you meant the vows you said at the altar, how no man could ever take his place and how dearly you hold him to your heart. Try to draw him out about his ex wife's infidelity, a good way to do this is to open up to him a little bit about your heartfelt feelings about cheating and/or his ex, then allow him to talk about his feelings and what happened, you could also just say kindly, "Sweety, what happened?". It's possible that he has unresolved feelings about his wife's cheating and just needs to process the difficult experience. Always greet him warmly and kindly when he comes home at night after work, and allow him to have some time and space alone before you talk about your days, trust me he'll appreciate this. Have the kids stay with a baby sitter, and go out on a date with him, or cook him a lovley meal at home with candle light, soft music and maybe a massage later. During the meal or after, start talking about your feelings for him and your concerns, that I mentioned earlier. If he bristles and clams up when you bring up the subject back off and go on to happier subjects. If he becomes noticably angry and venomous when the topic comes up, at any time, then you may have a bigger problem on your hands. Someone who is angry, jealous, suspicious, hypocritical, and wounded from the past may have something of their own to hide. In my experience people that suspect others, in an angry, accusatory way, while being hypocritical about their own actions, are often times just feeling angry with themselves, guilt ridden and trying to hide their own sins. So the possibilities are this, either he's a messed up guy with anger problems, who's neurotic, paranoid, hypocritical, and wants to control you and is therefore insecure, OR, he's cheating on you, has come close to it, or has cheated on you. Either way, your husband really needs couseling, you don't have to have alot of money to get counseling, there are outreach programs where you can get very low priced counseling, from state or city agencies in your area. Again either way, you've got one messed up man, get yourself some counseling, and if this marriage goes down the tubes, be very very aware of what kind of man you get involved with in the future, and watch for the warning signs of a temper, jealousy, insecurity, posessiveness, and a controlling nature. Get yourself and your husband into counseling right away, and sadly, you may want to start thinking about getting your finances in order in case there is a divorce. Good luck,
Sincerely, Katrina Kinhelp
Humm this is insecraty sorry its a big word. You need more communication as well between your husband tell him how you feel about him haveing lady friends . As I said to someone els marriage is a 50/50 thing.Just tell him you dont think that he should be mad when you have men friends having lady friends is the same they are just friends. He acts like a person that has been hurt and dosen't trust u. If u need any more tips let me know.