Funadvice Logo

How can I fix this depression?

Home More advice Health

I've been depressed for a long time, and it's a huge story to tell why, but I can tell you why I am depressed now. I am alone, I'm fat, no real friends, like when I work in a differnt town that they live in, no one will let me stay night, or they make p weird excused like, I'm busy playing my video game. I have no family, my last one that I know is my mother, I have not seen my dad since I was three, I have not idea where he's at, I can't let go of the past, it effects me now, and makes me cry. I've been accused lot, I know I didn't do anything them. I have no knowledge of any family history. But the worst part is the loneliness, I am 24 sitting home alone every night, with no one to talk to, it's gotten so bad I've made up characters in my head, I've gotten so used to talking to them, now they seem real. Everybody says I'm a nice person, and that me making friends should be a piece of cake, but I hardly have any. I have no one to hangout with on the Holidays, Christmas and thanksgiving make me the most depressed, because people are hanging out with family or friends, and me I'm doing nothing. I think anyone understands me at all. I am a little slow to, I was born dead, so I had a lack of air to my brain at the one point,they made me retarted, I'm only mildly retarted. All this depression makes me think of suicidal thoughts all the time. The only problem, I guess I'm suppose to be a christian, but chrisitans don't even hang with me, I feel left out of the good crowd and the bad crowd, I don't know why anybody won't except me. but someone please answer this confusing question?