Looking for literate people 1_~(HELP!)

Normally I don’t do this. This is something I’ve been working on for a few months now, off & on of coarse(I’ve a few other ones I’ve been working on). Can’t seem to get it the way I want it. It seems like a few things are missing & a few things need to be taken off. Perhaps some fresh eyes might be able to help me deceiver what’s needed to be done. (__ is where I’m contemplating on putting something in) *PS: Not to sound rude, but before giving me your 2cents I’ld like you to be able to tell me what it’s bout first 1~*

Ever sounding chords of green, Haunting my days, Plaguing my dreams, Calls to me like succubay.

Downcast, Longing to taste What’s surveyed Through emerald glass.

Chords of tyrants’ song Lace her corset Hugging her hourglass frame Counting sands till fate is met Untamed Into a spiteful new dawn.

Trying to recoil; Lilith my dark bride Beckons my fall from Eden -Soiled- Humming her sweet lullaby Of treason.

Wracked with her charm, Overburdened I fall; The sands run out, She ends her count, Bares her arms To entrap me in her paroles thrall.

Threads of prevarication Unweave

_
Hell’s passion Raptures me

Raw fever prevails, I embrace me porcelain sin, My lips descend to taste her pale skin, Bared to the heavens unveiled

Down her swollen breast, Lactating sweet henna for my soul Lustful nails rake my chest, drawing scarlet ink to sign What’s left of mine To bestow.

I turn my back on the seraphs As they have I, No longer part of their devious plot & Fabricated lies.

I plant my corrupted seed within Forest grim & ready for a blood stained genesis.