Is he using me?

Me and this guy have been seeing each other for a couple of weeks now. We’ve already done some sexual stuff but we haven’t had sex and he hasn’t done anything to me. I cant help but hearing that he is just using me, a few people have said it now and I questioned him about it but he denied the whole thing. He never shows much of an effort and doesn’t really seem interested unless he knows something will happen. It feels like he is more flirtatious towards other girls rather than me but he says the same about me. The last time something sexual happened between us he ended up not talking to me all night afterwards, and ended up not saying a word the morning after. I then later heard he had told some of his friends about what happened between us! I don’t understand though, did I do something wrong? I explained to him I wouldn’t do anything more sexually than what we had already done until (if) we have a relationship and he seemed cool with it and is still ‘seeing’ me. He has told everyone we’re ‘unofficially together’ but it’s kind of making me question whether he is just doing it to lose his virginity? we’ve had history before but its never worked out but we ended up starting to hook up whenever I bumped into him on a night out, I really like him and I have done for a long time. It feels like hes only going for me right now because I’m the best thing he can get and I always seem to get the impression he fancies my best friend and is only with me because she isn’t available. I don’t know what to do? :S Before we were unofficially together he promised me he would try but hes really not. :| It’s so complicated!

Answer #1

I have a sorta similar situation and my advice is don’t do anything you don’t want to but you are the only person who can figure out what to do. don’t let him take advantage though and you will realise what is right for you eventually! x

Answer #2

We’ve never had sex before.. so it’s not like im easy because I have said no when he has asked. We havent really done much sexually really.. we’ve done stuff sexually twice now and I don’t really feel like it progressing just yet. I just don’t know, maybe its people putting ideas into my head? I think im going to ditch him, you’ve pretty much just made it really obvious to me he is using me.. even though he says hes not and I have got a few people (his best friend) to ask him about it and he still said the same. I really don’t know, either way I’m not going to be having sex with him anytime soon. thanks guys, much appreciated! X

Answer #3

To me it sounds like he is using you. There is brilliant thinking behind making a man wait before you do anything sexual- you will realise weather he likes you for you or whether he likes you for the sex. Giving it up straight away and you will never know.

You have done nothing wrong, boys just want pleasure and don’t care about the pain they put girls through. Move on you would be better with out him. Why would you want to be with someone who fancied your best friend?! I sure wouldn’t.

Answer #4

no, we have never had sex. both of us have never had sex we’ve just done like oral.. nothing major really.

Answer #5

“Sex”, “sexual stuff”…Hun, its pretty much the same!

Answer #6

Sorry, but its really not all that complicated. There are red flags that have popped up everywhere, and you STILL ignore them all.

Read these again, then ask yourself if hes just USING you>> I cant help but hearing that he is just using me, a few people have said it>>What guy is going to admit hes using a girl? Seriously!

He never shows much of an effort and doesn’t really seem interested unless he knows something will happenThats a sign he ONLY wants sex!

It feels like he is more flirtatious towards other girls rather than me but he says the same about me.>>Actions ALWAYS speak louder than words!

The last time something sexual happened between us he ended up not talking to me all night afterwards, and ended up not saying a word the morning after.Thats means hes Just using you!

I then later heard he had told some of his friends about what happened between us! Because he doesnt care about you! He only wants what you can do for him sexually!

I don’t understand though, did I do something wrong?Are you kidding? Ya, you did something wrong…guys DONT date, OR respect girls who are easy!

we’ve had history before but its never worked out but we ended up starting to hook up whenever I bumped into him on a night out,>>Hooking up isnt going to make things right between you, sex ONLY complicates things!

You really do sound very young, and naive. If you dont know when a guy is using you, then maybe you should start keeping your legs closed. Sex isnt going to make a boy fall in love with you. Boys DONT date girl who are easy, they take what they are putting out, toss them aside, and come back to them when their hormones are raging! Get yourself into a commited relationship where you clearly know the guy loves you, dont just give it away in hopes of getting someone to like you more. Thats NOT how a boys mind works!

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