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I have been with my boyfriend for a year and 5 months,We had a big argument 3 months ago,and he broke up with me,but still we kept going out,and he said that he still have feelings for me,but there are other issues why he cant come back to me,and now we are gettin along so well,but I want him to be my boyfriend again,what to do,how to make him realise that he needs me,because looks like he does,but he cant admit it,I love him too much and just cant be without him...please could someone help me!?
The advice about not showing desperate or needy acitons is very true. I have to admitt thats all I showed to my boyfreind of 4 years. All it does is pressure them and annoy them..n you just look pathetic as hell. what they want to see is someone positive. When I used to call him constantly and write long texts I got nothing out of it..I think it pushed him away more. But when I started to give up on trying to get him to be with me thats when I started seeing the results I wanted. He would call me randomly, even once around 2am saying he wanted to talk to me. I knew right then I was on the right track. Girls, we all know its hard to take time apart from the one you love..but trust me if he loves you it will be worth it! Dont forget to really show him that you can change those flaws that he always complained about...a lot of things bother us, I've noticed. We could be walking with them in the mall..and a attractive girl walks by and we get jealous right away thinking hes looking. But you know what dont show your jealousy toward him show him your confident about urself..confidence is attractive! Sometimes us girls expect too much from a guy and always want them to say what we want or do. But dont let that get in the way let things flow. Always stay positive, even if your falling apart inside, dont start looking depressed,suicidal,helpless etc. They want to see a changed woman. What helps me in these hard times is just keeping busy, hanging with friends. And its always good to admitt when your wrong and say sorry. Just because they are the guy doesnt mean your never wrong..a lot of girls have too much pride in themselves and thats the problem. We think the guy is always going to be kissing up to you all the time calling you but eventually they are gonna get tired of it. thats what happened with my boyfreind and I have realized how much I have messed things up. Him and me talked last night and I told him how sorry I am for being that kind of girl and that I want another chance to show him a better me. He said "I wish you would have told me this a long time ago". I am giving him space at the moment to let him think things through and hoping for the best. I just wish I would of got all this advice back then.
First of all, all of you deserve someone who WANTS to be with you, not someone who NEEDS to be with you. The needier the person is, the more problems it will cause in the long run. Your relationship is still fresh. It's a good sign that he is backing off. I know it hurts at first, but you have to weigh out the pros and cons of the relationship as well.
What if the relationship becomes long term and you move in together, get engaged ect...and you realize after that it's not really what you want, because everytime you turn around he "needs" something from you, and gets too comfortable with that neediness.
This is a clear indication that you all "Love Too Much". There is a book I am going to suggest to you. It's excellent. It is called, "Women Who Love Too Much". I believe you should all read it. It is excellent, and I know it will help you out alot, it did for me.
I was in a relationship too where my boyfriend needed me. It became too much of a burden for me to handle. I had to put my life on hold for this man. It was more like babysitting and sometimes it was even like having a child to look after. It was always one sided, I ended up taking care of him, then it being mutual.
We lived together for two years, before I got the courage to end it. It was hard, because I thought I wanted someone to "need" me, but in the long run, it was only a burden.
I have grown up, and realize that I deserve someone who wants me. I have found that someone, and it is great! Thank your lucky stars that you are not involved too much with these people. Give them and yourself some space. Instead of running after them and spending so much time with them, focus on yourself and your needs and wants. Do not forget to weigh out the pros and cons. Sure, the first time, there will be more pros but given time, you'll realize that there are more cons. I Promise.
I hope this has helped, even though it's not what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth.
Got boy friend for 2 years. and a half. We broke up last month. He has somebody else. We still keep in touch after our break up. A week after our break up he called me. he ask an apology and he let me know that he love me still. Few days after his call we meet. He hug and kiss me, I want to do the same because I really missed him but I control my emotion. He admitted his fault and hi’s really for what had happen.He ask me not to go into another relationship first he well fix thing first w/ his girl, he said he wants to marry me soon he fix things out .I said I cant promise but ill try..because I don’t want to wait for nothing. he said just do what I said pls..before we part he hug and kissed me.after a couple of days he d’nt call me or txt me. When we meet again I feel he is avoiding me..when I ask him what’s wrong he said “im so sorry but im in love w/ my girl now”..realy hurt me much..we’ve been for a year I cant belive he can do this to me.(he is involve w/ that girl for 4 months he cheated me) but I still want to win him back because I really love him.what should I do..do I need to let him go or need something to win wine him back.help me please..
hey i am right there with you! my boyfriend and i of three months (felt like forever) broke up a few weeks ago because he feels the need to become a 'better muslim' and by that he doesn't think we should spend time together and be intimate period. unfortunately, he can't be a good muslim because like he says to me "you drive me crazy" and so he wants to be intimate with me (we are both virgins, but have engaged in oral sex). it is fraustrating so i know exactly how you feel, but it's really not fair at all because we all want an actual relationship with these men and all they really want is to have adult relations with us. how do you cope with that? i certainly don't know how because i care about him so much and i know he cares about me too, he has told me on several occassions that he does have feelings for me but i am not the woman he's suppose to fall in love with (and yet he wants to be intimate with me). well ladies, i seriously think that we are in desperate need of some professional help, so anyone with the expertise you are hghly needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SnJ
It hurts.. a lot.. I would know, because I am in the same situation right now. My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me less than a week ago. I know that you still love him, and I know that he still has feelings for you, but maybe the only reason you want him back is for stability.. he was probably your first serious boyfriend, right?? I mean, you want to spend time with him, and you want to be able to kiss him again, but if you are truely meant for eachother it will work out in time. Time might be your least favorite thing right now, but thats what you need.. time alone, time apart, time to think about the reasons you guys split, and if they are fixable. For right now though, be his friend.. his BEST friend. Be there for him no matter what, and maybe he will eventually see that he can no longer live without you as more than a friend.
Good luck, and if it doesn't work out, remember that it is ''better to have love and lost, than to have never loved at all!'' .. and you will love again! <3
Olena,
Depressed or not, your finacé is conscious that he loves you very much but he is not or no longer in love with you at the moment. It doesn't look obvious now, but everything works out for the best and fortunately he let you know this before you guys end up in divorce down the road. Keep yourself busy and ignore him for awhile and give him a lot of space. It may be temporary and he may fall in love with you later in the future. For the time being, surround yourself with people that love you. Keep yourself busy and don't run after him, whatever you do. You may want to remind him of your existence a few times. Turn him down a few times if he wants to get together but whatever you do, do not harrass him or force him to tell you how he feels about you. He may end up feeling suffocated and run away instead. Once he realizes that he misses you and he may perhaps fall in love with you again. Best of luck!
ok, if you really want your ex back this is what needs to happen: 1) Find out the real reason you broke up without asking them. this may be hard, but since you were an equal in the relationship, try to think. the most common reason is LOSS OF ATTRACTION i know this sounds superficial, but its true. 2.) This loss of attraction might not just be physical attraction, but maybe you were acting NEEDY, or JELOUS, or what ever the case may be, the person doesnt feel that your worth IT TO THEM anymore. 3.) work on CHANGING the things that YOU feel you need to change about yourself. work on YOU. 4.) IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE! DO NOT call that person a bunch of times, or text them or email them. this is going to further push them away and make you look DESPERATE and like you havent moved on. When you see this person out and about ( maybe by going to places frequented) make sure you act confident!
Im sorry i dont have an answer for you but I dont come on here often and I have almost the exact same problem. please email me any responses you get to this question... Mine keeps telling me he has the "lone wolf syndrome" but yet every time I hang out with him (although the title isnt there anymore) its almost 24/7 about us... like we never broke up... the intimacy is just as good if not better and his only complaint is that he doesnt want to commit his future at such a young age (22). I dont know nor do i pretend to know what will be days month or years down the line i just want him to be mine today... and we will worry about tomorrow tomorrow.
canyoncrzy04@yahoo.com BANJ
hey my thoughts are with you too as I'm currently in the same kinda situation my boyfriend of 6 months recently told me he can't commit to me due to all his exams he having to do at college as he is doing a full time college course through the week which means we would only get to see each other once so often during weekends and because of all that he's told me he doesn't want to be with me anymore but I'm trying to get him to realise that I'm there for him no matter what and things could work out if he gave me the chance but I don't know how I can prove that if he won't even give me and out relationship a chance which I'm finding frustrating to deal with
my side is rather a complicated one.. about five months ago, i broke up with this man i have been going out for almost 2 years and seven months. i told him i didnt love him anymore and that we should accept the truth that people change. after five months, i accidentally bumped into him.. the feeling is there, or so i thought.. and I WANT him back? Am i just overwhelmed to see him or do I still have these thing for him? will somebody help me? i really dont know how to tell him that i want him back after i told him that i didnt love him.
:((
If these boys can't express how they really feel, then you need to leave them alone and find real men. On the other hand, maybe they really just dont want to be in a relationship with you, but they want to have their cake an eat it too. You're good enough for now, but as soon as someone else catches his eye, he will drop you like a "hot cake"! If he's not in a relationship with you then its not considered cheating. So for now, he'll continue to use you as long as you allow him too.
To win your boyfriend back you have to wait for him to call you back and act like you don't care. Then he'll eventually call you, it might take a month or a month and a half but if he really liked you he'll be back. Or this works too after a month goes by pretend like you're sending a text message to one of your friends and say something like this "what time are we leaving?" anything that might suggest you're busy doing something. It will grab his attention instantly.
Hey girl i am in the same boat but i have only been dating him for 7 months. i want to win him back because we are still friends but he "dosn't have time for a relationship" but i think he does. but i respect his decision, and i just act as a friend but he keeps telling me that he is crazy about me so maybe he will see that he needs me. and if your guy has any brains, he will see too that he needs someone as caring as you!!! :)
Im there too but other way around. the man i was with my fiance just told me today that he loves me , but not in love with me.I dont even know what to do but I know he didnt want to do it I could tell by looking at him that it was killing him to do that. He has depression problems since many many years back so I believe that that may be one of his problems. I dont know I need help, advice bad... Olena
Hey there I sorry to hear your plight with your boyfriend, one of the best pieces of advise I can give you is to be yourself and not to act all needy and desperate, I had similar trouble not so long ago and went looking for information that could help me learn how to win back my boyfriend. I hope it helps http://www.win-back.info/how-to-win-back-your-boyfriend.html
Whatever.. I would'nt care... If he can't commit to you, then he isn't worth it!!
