how to get over it

so I no that I have sexual aversion disorder and for thoughs who didn’t no its basicly a disorder that makes you completely afraid of sex to a point were you have panic attacks when put into a sexual setitation . I got it because as a kid I was abused sexually by this man and basicly made sex disgusting for me . I know that I will never want to have sex but I need help with expecting other people having sex I really need help so when my friends have sex I won’t not talk to them cause I want to stay friends with them.

-Jen

Answer #1

You need to talk to someone to deal with this. Like a therapist. I can understand how scary the whole thing is, to the point where you dont even want to think about it (or think about thinking about it), but you do want to eventually have a relationship? There are few relationships that survive without any kind of physical intimacy… The earlier you deal with it, the better it will be. And you can deal with this…

Look, all phobias are magnified through aversive reactions which reinforce it… So for example, if you are bitten by a snake, and form a fear of snakes, you avoid anything to do with snakes, when you avoid say passing by the snake pit at the zoo, you feel a sense of relief, so then when you start seeing snake pictures, you start to feel a little anxious, so you start avoiding those, soon enough you’re scared of snake pictures too, and so on and so forth, till even thinking about snakes freaks you out… same kind of thing… and the only way to work through that is by not avoiding… you know how they say face your fears? well that’s how psychologists work with all fears… the thing is, if your fear doesnt even allow you to hear other people discuss it, you may actually need a therapist to help you get over that fear… and also, quite frankly, this is more than just about sex. There’s so much you have to deal with and process, and for your mental health and well-being, you really should talk to someone…

As for the friend thing, if you dont want to hear it, just say so… seriously, it isnt usually a big deal to most people…

Answer #2

number one is YOU what happened to you early in life is done and in the past don’t continue to harbor what was in the past otherwise YOU will be your worst enemy. The other you is the one who will give the time to learn to love herself because she knows that without this she cannot learn to love someone else and accept the loving gifts that someone else may want to give her. being totally blunt I must tell you to go and buy a toy and begin to experiment and learn to please yourself first. Only after this will you be able to learn about what it takes to please you and then you will learn how to express to someone else how you need to be treated and pleased. sex is a wonderful thing especially when it is shared with 2 equal consentiaries. don’t continue to blame the world, not everyone is good but not everyone is bad either. if you continue to keep yourself locked up, that very special someone you may be looking for will never be found, RELEASE YOURSELF NOW

Answer #3

if they really are your friends they will understand

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