Overcome sexual fears?

Yes I think the therapy thing might help. His problems may be so inbedded that you will have troubles helping him yourself. Its very hard to get over any sort of abuse trust me been there and done that but some therapy may take the edge off for him. He obviously feels he is doing something wrong when he touches a womans vagina so his thought patterns need to be re-trained. It may also get to the point where he feels guilty after any sexual act as if he had done something wrong. With some therapy (if he is willing) and baby steps eg; touching close to the vagina and getting a bit closer each time, he might one day be able to insert his penis himself. This will not happen over night as I expect you would know but it can happen. Like I said its all in the triggers and his needing his brain to be retrained. While he was getting abused he must have known what was going on was a very bad thing and associates your sex life with these past experiences. I wish you every luck in this and funmail me if you like.