Cutter feels delusional

I used to cut… its not all about attention… I done it for 6yrs before I told anyone… and I only told one person… my boyfriend… who helped me thro it… my advice is comfort and understand… help your friend find alternatives… give her rubber bands to snap… she will snap out of it… how long has this been going on tho…

Yea, I think I might go with that if things don’t get sorted out and better by the next time I see him. Thank you for all the answers and thank you all for bearing with my complaining! =D If you still have any suggestions, I’d be more than happy to hear them.

Yea, I’m starting to think I should do that. I definitely wouldn’t tell her mom though, she’d have at least 5 cows, and I bet her dad wouldnt care. But I might tell our youth pastor, I know he can help, he’s a licensed counselor and all. Thanks for the idea, I’m sure it would help. Now I just need to pluck up the courage and actually do it.

I know you don’t want her to be mad at you, but at this point I tihnk you should tell an adult. You can even ask them to not tell her it was you who alerted them. I doesn’t have to be her parents, although that would be the best choice. It could be your parents, a responsible adult sibling, or maybe your youth pastor if you go to church.

Oh, I’m sorry for the misunderstanding, and sorry if I sounded like I was trying to put you down, that is not at all what I was trying to do. I’m just worried for her, I really wish there was more I could do to help, but she isn’t letting me, she knows I can help, but she isn’t letting me.

Well if what Reb1312 said is true, what’s the point of cutting yourself if you only tell like 3 people. Trust me, she gets plenty of attention from me and one other guy she showed because he has a thing for her, and I used to go out with her and we talk every day. But she also told my brother, but he isn’t someone she wants more attention from, she just trusts him.

Thanks for the answers, but she isn’t depressed, her life just sucks a whole lot right now. I just wish there was more I could do to help, but she won’t let me help.

Her parents and/or professional needs to be informed asap so they can ascertain if there is a problem - here’s some depression info: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_teen_teenagers.htm Self-injury: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm

Here’s a 24hr a day number if she wants to just talk, they’ll listen, or pray if she likes: 1-800-488-4673

You’re a good friend, I wish you all the best !!

Well, my youth pastor is a licensed and professional counselor, he gets people all the time talking about depression, so I’m sure he can help. I have a random question for anyone still listening to me complain, but is it normal that I have honestly prayed to God asking Him to take all her hardship and pain and bring it on me and make her happy and knowing that I’d be able to handle it all a lot better probably?

Yea, I know that pretty much every time she says “I’m fine” I know for a fact that she isn’t, and it’s not that I am not trying to help her, she just isnt telling me anything or giving me any information that will allow me to help her. I usually am kinda pushy because I want to try and help and I want to know how she’s really doing, but she just keeps saying “I’m fine” or “I’ll be fine” so she basically admits something being wrong, but she won’t tell me what it is.

Fact:

People cut for attention. That is the only REAL reason they do it. They may think it’s them cutting “to make the emotional pain go away”, but it’s not. It’s them crying out for help/attention, and almost admitting they have some kind of problem, whether it be they think they’re fat, or their father rapes them.

The reasons people cut can vary, however the UNDERLYING/REAL reason is for help/attention.

“Girls at that age are very over-dramatic…to be honest I wouldn’t think anything of it, but that’s just me.”

yes, obviously you’ve had no mental health training whatsoever…

as to your friend, she may have depression with psychotic features, obviously the delusions are not a good sign… and the cutting has nothing to with the delusions or the forgetting (at least not directly), but it may be a sign of the depression… right now the cutting may not even be the worst of her problems…

psychotic features are a bad sign… someone needs to be informed asap

She doesnt do it often, she’s only done it twice in the past 2 months, but that’s a lot better than what it used to be. But when we first met, we talked a lot and about some deep things and she told me that, and I got her to promise that she wouldn’t, but even though she broke that promise twice, I can almost guaruntee that if she didn’t promise, she would have done it a lot more and probably with worse intentions =( But she knows that I’m always there for her and that I love her, so I hope things get better.

hey I know how you feel I also have had a friend that cuts. right now it doesn’t seem like it’s too big of a problem but I would try and talk to her about stopping and maybe why she feels the need to do it. if she doesn’t stop or things seem to get worse I would recommend telling an adult, her parents, a school cousoler, I don’t know just someone that can help you out. ya, I know it’s going to suck to rat out your friend and she mite even be mad at you but in the end if she really is your friend she will probably thank you!

Girls at that age are very over-dramatic…to be honest I wouldn’t think anything of it, but that’s just me.

Who cares? Help her anyway. Sometimes “no” means “yes”. Again, I’d have to physically be in front of her to assess her so to speak, but while she may be saying “No don’t help me”, she may mean “Please help me”.

Complicated, I know. If I were you, I would push the subject a little bit and see where it gets you - just don’t push it TOO much or she might get pissed off and stop talking to you.

All in all - be friendly, but aggressive.

Your “youth councilor” idea is a good one.

GL.

=’( well that really sucks to hear. But it’s weird, she isn’t always sad, it’s kind of like a bi-polar sadness, one day shes all fine and dandy, the next, life really sucks and she’s really sad. But the delusions and forgetfullness started the day after she cut, so I was thinking it had something do from it. I talked to another friend who used to cut and she said that she sometimes felt the same way and it was just natural, but it still sucks because she really doesn’t remember anything from yesterday, and the things she does remember, are the bad things that went on. But we used to go out, and broke up due to certain circumstances, but there is the possibility of us getting back together and we still say that we love each other and all that, but yesterday, told me that she really really loved me and I told her I felt the same, and also, she said that she actually thought about wanting to go back out with me, but she doesn’t remember any of that today, she only remembers the bad things that happened

I don’t think you understand.

I used attention in the sense that she needs help. As in treatment, whether it be by a GOOD therapist, or a psychiatrist.

For the people who are truly “cutters” (although I’ve never experienced it, I’m sure some people ‘cut’ to fit in), whether they want to admit it or not, they are doing it in hopes that one person will notice it and help.

Just because she “told ONLY 3 people” doesn’t mean she’s doing it so she can brag about it and tell other people. That isn’t, at all, what I meant.

The only other way I could possibly be more clear is to give you an example.

Say this girl (if she had a name, I didn’t see it, sorry) goes to school and someone sees her cuts. That second person goes to the school’s guidance area/office area and tells someone about it in confidence in order to help that girl. That girl is brought down to the guidance area and talks to at least a somewhat professionally trained, in so many words, therapist. From there, the guidance councilor will refer her to a therapist. Since I am not a guidance councilor, I don’t know the specific rule of thumb when it comes to cutting, but, I used to be a drug addict, and from that I know, if it’s life threatening, the guidance councilor must tell her parents. If not, the guidance councilor could tell her parents she’s depressed and it would benefit her to speak to someone. That way, they don’t need to know the real issue, and she gets to see a therapist.

Do you now see the picture I am trying to paint for you?

When I say people cut for attention, I mean its a cry for help.

“Fact:

People cut for attention. That is the only REAL reason they do it. They may think it’s them cutting “to make the emotional pain go away”, but it’s not. It’s them crying out for help/attention, and almost admitting they have some kind of problem, whether it be they think they’re fat, or their father rapes them. “

yeah? according to whom? you can say Fact all you want before a sentence, it doesnt make it true… that is complete inaccurate, most people who cut dont tell other people… your ignorance completely amazes me… especially given your age… it may be forgivable if you were younger, but at your age you shouldnt be talking about anything you dont know… and it’s COUNSELOR… but that really is besides the point… cutting is a coping method (I’ll grant you a poor one) not an attention seeking device… it doesnt mean the person does not need help however… and yes an adult who actually knows what they’re talking about (you know someone actually trained in mental health who wont jump to conculsions about the meaning behind the cuts) is probably your best bet… most people dont really know much about self harm… it isnt their fault, it isnt something that is talked about and even most medical doctors assume it is either an attention seeking device or a sucide attempt… unless one has actually received training it is hard to understand… so I’d be careful who you pick to talk to… a mental health professional is probably best

“but is it normal that I have honestly prayed to God asking Him to take all her hardship and pain and bring it on me and make her happy and knowing that I’d be able to handle it all a lot better probably?”

Yes, that is a normal thing for many religious people. But, think about it. If there is a God, wouldn’t It really rather have your girlfriend SOLVE her problems rather than simply let them be shifted to someone else?

Have her check out the information below:

  Information on self injury:

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm

  Do you WANT to stop cutting? Then check out this site:

http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Self_Injury/BloodRed/stop/index.html

Welcome to Fun Advice!

    I hope you do not take offense,
    To that that's gone before;
    'Tis only that it's my two-cents,
    And not one penny more. §;o)

I response to moon063008, she doesn’t do it often at all, she only does it every once in a blue moon, when we first met, I got her to promise not to do it anymore, and that was 2 months ago, but she has only broken that promise twice, once when her mom paid no attention to her and she felt that no one was there for her, and the most recent because her life just flat out sucks right now, and she has way too much on her plate. Neither of them have been suicide attempts though.
Yes ethmer, that would be a better solution, but right now, I just want her to be happy, because lately, her mood has had a great affect on my mood and I can’t be completely happy when I know that she isn’t. Last night, she promised to me that she won’t do it again any time soon, so that is better, and she said that if I wasn’t talking to her every night or the night when she actually cut herself, she said it’d be a lot worse, so I’m happy for that I guess.