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Confusion and pressure

I am 15 and I might be pregnant I am so worried because my boyfriend is 19 and he says he will leave if I am pregnant and he has made the decision that I need an abortion I dont want to lose him but I dont know whether I want to abort my baby

Can someone help???/

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Answer #1

If your guy has said this, he is a loser and a scumbag and not worthy of your love. If a guy makes love to his girlfriend he needs to share the risk of what he is doing. Even more so in your relationship where he is a few years older than you.

OK, maybe he feels that you having a child will ruin his future. What about his concern for you and what you want? It is your body after all and you are the one left with the guilt for the rest of your life if you have an abortion just to keep him happy.

Dont have an abortion if you really don’t feel this is something you want to do. Otherwise, the worry and guilt can stay with you a lifetime.

However, if you have the baby, your child will be there for your lifetime and you need to ensure that you can cope with the responsibilities of bringing up a child at such a young age.

Another option is adoption but again, this can be heartbreaking and the memory and possible guilt will stay with you forever.

You need to speak to someone who can run through the different options that are available to you. This really needs to be an independent person rather than someone close to you who may try and force you into a decision you may regret.

Even if they do believe they have the best intentions for you.

Dont take this huge burden on your own shoulders please. You need to have all the info on potential options so you can make an informed decision on what YOU want. Please dont make a decision that you dont really want just to please others.

Also, please consider the needs of the child.

I’m not sure what country you are in but if you are in the USA, I hope someone can assist me here and advise some of the places where kaylii could go for independent advice on the options she has. (I am in Britain)

Finally, you need to decide how and when you are going to tell your parents about this. Maybe if your guy is such a jerk, you take a close friend with you when you speak to your parents.

If you are pregnant as you suspect, you have my hopes that whatever decision you make, you make it for the right reasons.

Kiasu

Answer #2

Many thanks ichibanarky

Kiasu

Answer #3

I agree with both above. This child does not need him in their life. You need to get all his info before breaking the news to him you are going through with the pregnancy(if you are pregnant and you choose to go through with it) so you will be able to take him to court for child support.

I can’t tell you what to do with your pregnancy(if you are), but the best thing you can do for this child (if you go through with it) if give them to a loving adopting family. You are just a kid, high school. Baby means lots of money, lots of time, lots of energy, lots of patience. This will be the hardest decision in your life, but ultimately the best for you and the child. You need time to grow up, find out who you are, have fun, you haven’t reached the age yet where you can really go party, be independent. You can’t do this with a baby. If you adopt out, you can pick a family that will still let you be in the child’s life. This is all IF you are pregnant and if you go thorugh with the pregnancy. No one can make your decision about this pregnancy but you.

Answer #4

There is a age difference and he is over 18 so he is probably scared to catch a court case if you have a baby. If you are pregnant and don’t want him to go to jail you need to have an abortion. Good luck.

Answer #5

Yes kiasu, if she’s in the USA she can go to Planned Parenthood: www.plannedparenthood.org

If she’s in Canada, there’s a Planned Parenthood there too: www.plannedparenthood.org

Answer #6

Agreed - any boy who gives you an ultimatum like that is not worthy of having you.

If you want to keep your baby, you keep it - ditch the father and make sure you take him to court for child support…if you mention this little ultimatum of his to the judge, he’ll most likely not even have child visitation rights.

Answer #7

this might be hard…but he is obviously not worth it…if you dont wanna get the abortion don’t do it…he is 19 dating/sleeping with a 15 year old…is there something wrong with this picture??? I believe if you are not using protection then you should prepare yourselfs for these kind of situations…my advice is to tell him to get lost…u dont need some 1 like that in your life im sure your parents will help you out with your baby if you decide to keep it

Answer #8

people do not go to jail unless the “victim”/parents feal its right to do so…2ndly bubbles…seriously you dumb twat stfu your stupid…dont listen to no 1…u might be young but you can still have the baby and support it 100 percent. Thats what we have parents for…to help us in rough patches of our lives…please don’t give your baby up in my opinion the best family a baby can has is with his mother…not foster parents you can still do all these things…your only 15..u will only be young by the time he has his 18th birthday…when you turn 18 im sure your parents will watch the baby and let you have some fun as long as you dont get to carried away… I know for a fact if I had a baby my mother would do anything to watch my kid for a night ;) your bfs a jerk tho…and my advice pwns ;) have a good day and hope you made a good choice

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