I did a bit of research and I see it's getting media interest in the US at present. It seems to be more a cultural issue than a real one. It was briefly an issue in the UK in 2005, and that was based on a closed community - a group that inter-marries only within a small population and not with people from wider society. 55% of marriages within the Bradford Pakistani community are to a first cousin. The level of defects is then higher than in first cousin marriages in the wider world. You can read a lot of comments from around the world via the link below, and you will see that other countries vary. Although it is the closed communities that have the bigger issue, the fear of that dominoes into wider society: [link removed]
Couples can always be genetically tested so they can check their own risk and decide whether or not to have children, but they can still marry and have a great life together even if they decide not to have children, or to adopt instead. 'Liking' your cousin is fine - it just depends how far you want to go with the relationship. First cousin marriage is legal in the UK, but varies by state in the US. As with many laws that vary by state in the US, the 'bad' comes from a prejudice based on outdated info.
Who are we to choose who you love?
If you like your cousin, I don't see any problem with it. It's not exactly your choice of who you have a crush on, so if you like him, I honestly don't see any problem with it.
However, I will be upfront and say that society won't like it: many people have grown up with the thought that loving your cousin is disgusting and will lead to birth defects. Although, defects usually only take place between the main family (brother-sister, father-daughter, etc). The risk of defects is much less for cousins.
Anyway, if you have a little crush on your cousin, and he likes you back, I see nothing wrong with it. I understand other people's reluctance, but it's mainly your decision.
To be tenacious, I'd say that many people have had little crushes on their cousins from time to time, but many people never actually done much about it.
If your relationship survives the test of time, you'll find ways to make it work despite the opinion of others. If you both want it to work, you'll make it work. It worked for Darwin - yet many modern attitudes are based on beliefs that were fashionable in his day. All relationships involve compromises, with each other and the wider world. The trick is to achieve a workable balance. There'll always be family politics and life isn't easy even for 'ordinary' relationships. It's natural to doubt when you're young - confidence comes with age and experience. Whenever you find yourself in uncertain times, focus on making certainties of your own. It makes it a lot easier! I've dealt with prejudice all my life - it just made me stronger.
np! If more people studied a subject, rather than just re-circulating the opinions of others, life would be a lot easier. But people are lazy and prefer to assume that someone else's opinion is knowledge - and that opinion is all you need to be a good or interesting person. Wrong! You might like to check your family tree, and the other folks who've commented might like to check their own. Cousin marriages have been common in the past, and in some present-day countries they are still the preferred option. Like many things in life, it all depends where and to whom you were born.
Considering that in many places it's legal to marry your first (yes - first) cousin, it really comes down to how people view it and the old myth that having children with your cousin will cause birth defects, etc. Personally, in my family, I have two sets of first cousins who are married - with children. The children are perfectly fine and the cousins are perfectly fine, so if you ask me, it's just society's feeble taboo that makes it bad.
We had a foreign student from Kuwait in our home and I learned that marrying a cousin there in many cases is EXPECTED. I also read the thing in this thread about that populaion in the UK and I am sure there are also other places out there in the world where people marry their cousins all the time.
My main concern would be, how would your family react to it over any concerns about having children.
ok so you like your cousin thats re-freshing , you cant control who you like but please please dont i say DO NOT go there, whats the chances he likes you back,whats the chance the rest of the family will approve, common sence people hoe will the children feel if anything does happen, so what you like him ,,, its just a crush , sit this one out ;) xxx
Because you have a higher chance of having birth defects when having children (that does not mean that your children will end up with birth defects, the chance is just higher). Also most people view their cousins like brothers, so it is difficult to understand. I personally do not have a problem with it. In my country it is alllowed.
Agree. Birth defects are much more common when nearer relatives have children, and that's where the taboo came from. Some people extend the principle to cousins just to be on the safe side, but I suspect that originates from a problem in closed communities where the gene pool remains small over a long period, so the risk is higher.
In my opinion I think it would be very awkward,, I see my cousins as family (someone you stand up for and would do anything for) not something or someone i would ever do anything with. My cousins and I are all very close and we see each other as family, Thats all, there are way to many people in the world to be with your cousin!
okay, how do i put this stop right now before you go ant further, its not right, thats your family there are so many people out there that you could like and acutally haave a relationship with there is no futre for you and your cosin it is discusting and wronge! how would your family veiw it im sure they would not aprove
It's not. It's illegal to marry family (mainly) because if you carry a genetic disease, your children are more likey to have it. It's seen as "bad" by society because it's society and society likes to tell people what's right and what's wrong just for fun. There's nothing wrong with you. Trust me.
it just seems weird to like ur own flesh and blood. i'm not judging but just to me, i couldnt do that. i mean, i think about kissing him and having sex with him and it disturbs me. but, it does not make me not want to hang wit u cuz i believe ppl are equal so, whatever makes u happy,thats cool
Hmm.. I agree i think i might just give it a chance and after all i just wanna see if it works and if it will then i wont end up regretting wat i did :) thanks u really helped me make this decision lol in the begining i was soo confused! :)
Um because your're related...it would be different. Your children would also be your 2nd cousins? I dunno!! But of course people would just have to get used to the idea of you liking them or whatever. Its not like you're hurting anybody :)
yes im likin wat u said!!.. cuz its like so true!!..thats wat da society doesnt doesnt understand!!..ii have da same situation in mii familly!!..ii wanna kno more about urz to help on mine!!..plz contact mii ok
hmm actually u were but i figure just because hes my cousin that doesent mean anything right i mean if we like eachother then its not like it would destroy or relationship?? right?? iam soo confusedd!
It's not really illegal, its not like.. a brother and sister relationship because that is more of a forbidden fruit but first cousin's.. i see many of these and it turns out fine so i guess its okay
i like my cosin but were not blood at all its my dads half brothers wifes (that he marriage a few years ago, she already had him with another man who died) son so is the legal or okay?
because it your cousin!!!!!!!!!! like realy ur gunna ask that?? thats like you have i sis or bro and you had a kid and your sis kid or your bros kid likes your kid....its not right
In many countries it is quite common, and obviously birth defects arent that common or the practice would have been eliminated. It's more of society's hang up than anything else.
By the way, all these people who are just saying that's it's dumb and gross with no explanation are just uneducated and/or close-minded. Don't pay any attention to them.
Well... you kinda have the same blood, ya know. Unless you wanna have kids with 25 arms, I say find someone with a last name that doesn't resemble yours, k.
HMMM...true....but the thing is i dont like how the society objects to it...and iam just confused that latet it will affect our relationship..
Its not really 'bad' to like your cousin....
you cant help who you fall for.......
it might be illegall but you cant help your feelings. x
well it depends on his or her position is he your first cousin? that would be bad but u should stop seeing him if hes a close cousin
You can't help who you like/fall for :) It's legal and as for birth defects, I know loads of married cousins with children :)
why is it not bad for you to like your cousin! for gods sake, hes your cousin. sorry, but thats just a little odd for me ;p
ya fo real dats wat ii tink!!.. u cant help likin ur cuzin..!! it jst happens ii have dat situation in mii family
Well yeaa dats considered family cuz its frm ur dads sidee of dhaa fam....... srry
I hopee i was helpful = ]
gurl uu should holla at mii ok cuz ii got da same situation goin on wit mii family like da one you have!!..
B.c they are family...
And family members dont hook up..
I guess it depends on what state your in lol
cus its illegal..thats ur blood family..if u have kids togther the babies may come out disfunctional
omg how old are you? and saying you like your cousin? seriously? yeah stop liking em. seriously.
Its ok for yu to lykk ur cuzin but yu cntt do nuthin witt him bcuz he is considered family
awww yeah i agree i mean its not like we r breaking the law or something... u know :)
i dont understand why there should be birth defects after all we are family right?
But if he is a cuzzin by marrige i dntt c nuthin really rong witt yu ndd him
hes actually from my dads side.....like hes my dads brothers son....
lol hmmm nice advice but iam pretty sure he likes me too :)
ya, does he like u..... more like a girlfriend??
Nope, it is legal to marry youyr first cousin :]
Its all your decision though.
No Cuz Your Not The Same Blood :)
HMM...is it really illegal?
AWWW thankss :)
aww thankss :)