What if I've already had sex but want to become a Christian?

If you’re looking at websites, you may want to try www.pureloveclub.com.

Also consider some of the following scriputres:

Matthew 5:27-32; 19:1-12 Mark 7:21-23; 10:1-12 *Romans 12:1-3; 13:12-14 1 Corinthians 5:1-13; 6:12-20 Galatians 5:16-26 Ephesians 4:1-5:33

I would also recommend that you read Paul’s letter to the Romans in its entirety. He addresses that very issue that you mentioned. You said that it is immpossible for you to avoid sin. You are right. St Paul talks about that issue at length in that letter. He says that while he is not able to remain completely free from sin, we must not let that be an excuse to do whatever we want.

Also consider the words of Christ. He calls us on to holiness. He even goes so far as to say “be perfect, even as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48).

It’s true that we may not be able to reach perfection, but we won’t even get close if we don’t put in the honest effort. The good news is that Christ has sent us the Holy Spirit to help us in our weakness, and for the forgiveness of our sins when we fall.

newfoundfate, if you are seriously considering full-fledged conversion to Chirstianity I have a few suggestions that you may want to take into account.

1. It’s not easy to be a Christian. It’s immpossible to be a perfect Christian. We all have sins and faults and failures. We all have weaknesses (see Paul’s letter to the Romans). That doesn’t mean that we should give up or stop trying. God is asking us to be faithful to him, not necesssarily succesful. It’s never going to be easy to take up your cross and follow Christ, but he still wants you to follow him.

2. Christians have always taken sex and sexual morality very seriously. This is not by accident. Since the beginning, the Church has taught that the place for sex is marriage, because that is the best place to have a family and raise children. Marriage is not a natural institution, but is something that is meant to mirror Christ’s love for his Church (see Paul’s letter to the Ephesians). If we are going to put ourselves in a position to be parents (people that have sex), we have a responsibility to the children to provide a safe and stable environment for them to grow up.

3. If you really are going to convert, that is something that will change your whole life. I suggest speaking seriously to your girlfriend about your current situation. It seems to me that she may respect you in your newfound beleifs and convictions. If she does, then you may have found a rare treasure: someone who understands you and you can have a serious connection. If she doesn’t respect a serious decision that you make, then you may have to look at your relationship realizing these new boundaries you’ve discovered. Either way, she deserves to have you be honest with her.

The Bible is not an old book written by man! If Man wrote the Bible then how on earth could a mere man fore tell the future thousands of years before biblical events even happened (Oh must have been magicians and fortune tellers Eh!) Who could write the history before the events actually happened? In Genisis chapter 3 (the first book of the bible ever written) it is foretold of Jesus’s birth which happened around five thousand years later! read Genisis 3:15 That is just one example. Obviously these people dont read Historical events or have studied history in great depth.

I hate it when people make comments about things they nothing about ! they write negative comments and hope the majority of non believers will agree with them. However , I do like a debate and any one with an ounce of intelligence will seek to find the truth if they are interested inthe truth. Its all there and plenty of historical charts, books and physical evidence to it back up and cross reference . I suggest you go and look for yourselves.

my best friend is atheist. I am jewish and I believe in Christ. we have been the best of friends for over 20 years and never once have either of us tried to convert the other. she has respect for my views because they are my views and vice versa. the only problem that I would have with anyone of any belief would be if they were judgmental and trying to ram it down my throat. and if you don’t believe in the bible or whatever, why does it madden you? that is what I don’t get. why the anger? it is not hurting you. now, if it is someone (like some on Fun Advice) that get judgmental and start typing in capitals and want to condemn you to eternal fire and brimstone, I can see how that gets your dander up but the rest of of seem pretty calm and level headed. dial it back a notch, nebula. there is room in this world for everyone with every viewpoint.

That has got to be so difficult for you, but just remember that god wants you as you are. The changes you make in your life will only bring you closer to him.

Dear newfoundfate, Congratulations on finding Yahweh ( another name for God)

I do not know if you are going to take anything that I say seriously because I am about eight years younger then you but for the simple fact  that you have asked for help and are wanting to also be a Christian I am going to voice my answer to your question and more so back it up.

I have not been a Christian my entire life…and I was not born into a Christian family I found God my own way just as you have. The bible says 2Ti 2:15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth And so that is what I have done. The bible is not what saves you what saves you or grants you salvation ( covers your sins and makes you right before God is the blood Of Christ and that he ahs done. The bible says: Ro 5:21 That as sin hath reigned unto death, even so might grace reign through righteousness unto eternal life by Jesus Christ our Lord.

The bible says sin will only give you death: Ro 6:23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord

If you repent for what you have done ask god to come into your heart and life he is faithful and will forgive you…you will be forgiven for every sin the past, present and future…it will be as if you never sinned. Jer 31:34 And they shall teach no more every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the LORD: for they shall all know me, from the least of them unto the greatest of them, saith the LORD: for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more
It will be as though you never sinned…you do not have to keep asking over and over for salvation it is given once and last for eternity. No power of hell not scheme of man can ever pluck you from his hand. Eph 1:13 In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, God has taken you and sealed you in his hand and written your name in the lambs book of life. My best advice to you is this you do not have to leave her but don’t fornicate. God will forgive you for it but it is not reason o do it we are to be dead to sin and alive to God ( read Romans) my subjections is that if you are serious go and get plugged into a good church and keep reading your bible. Learn about the trinity and holy spirit. Write me if you have any questions I may be young but I do know a lot about the bible I have read it twice.

Dear newfoundfate, Congratulations on finding Yahweh ( another name for God)

I do not know if you are going to take anything that I say seriously because I am about eight years younger then you but for the simple fact  that you have asked for help and are wanting to also be a Christian I am going to voice my answer to your question and more so back it up.

I have not been a Christian my entire life…and I was not born into a Christian family I found God my own way just as you have. The bible says 2Ti 2:15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth And so that is what I have done. The bible is not what saves you what saves you or grants you salvation ( covers your sins and makes you right before God is the blood Of Christ and that he ahs done. The bible says: Ro 5:21 That as sin hath reigned unto death, even so might grace reign through righteousness unto eternal life by Jesus Christ our Lord.

The bible says sin will only give you death: Ro 6:23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord

If you repent for what you have done ask god to come into your heart and life he is faithful and will forgive you…you will be forgiven for every sin the past, present and future…it will be as if you never sinned. Jer 31:34 And they shall teach no more every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the LORD: for they shall all know me, from the least of them unto the greatest of them, saith the LORD: for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more
It will be as though you never sinned…you do not have to keep asking over and over for salvation it is given once and last for eternity. No power of hell not scheme of man can ever pluck you from his hand. Eph 1:13 In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, God has taken you and sealed you in his hand and written your name in the lambs book of life. My best advice to you is this you do not have to leave her but don’t fornicate. God will forgive you for it but it is not reason o do it we are to be dead to sin and alive to God ( read Romans) my subjections is that if you are serious go and get plugged into a good church and keep reading your bible. Learn about the trinity and holy spirit. Write me if you have any questions I may be young but I do know a lot about the bible I have read it twice.

I appreciate everyones input and have taken it all into consideration, I have also read a lot more since my first post and I’ve decided you can’t avoid all sin no matter how hard you try! I’ve also decided I’m going to try to live in the best way I can and hopefully god will see that. I’m staying with my girlfriend and I’m not getting married at the present time but it might come in the near future. I actually read a christian website the other day that explained marriage and the difference between the old testament and the new testament and the difference of times, it was saying that sex is special and should be with someone you are close to. It also said that marriage was more of a must in the old testament and not as much mentioned in the new testament. (it gave scriptures, but I’m not going to list them all sorry) Anyhow bottom line is, I’m happy with her and even though she’s not on my same religous level I believe we can still have a special relationship together. (look at some of the people on this forum) I have found that there are a lot of different kinds of christians. I believe I can still be a christian and not have the exact same point of view.as the majority. As for believing in the bible, I for one believe in it I feel differently, I’m treated differently, I can feel this presence that I never felt in my life before. I know that some on here don’t believe its scientifically possible and to some extent I agree with them but I know how I feel in general and I know what a difference its making in my life. I’ve actually looked into it pretty extensively and I’ve found that were actually finding these biblical physical things such as the golden calf, or the chariot wheels and spears from the egyptians army, or they say they’ve even found the noah’s arc, a real interesting article metioned that they found the covenant of the arc, I think this kind of validates the bibles authenticity. I know that the bible was written by man an example that comes to mind is when john had to write the revelations, the man had no idea even what he was writting so how are we to understand it. I guess all we can do is guess and interpret it in our own way, maybe thats why theres so many religions, lol. I think god will set us all straight in the end. I in no way shape or form consider myself a prof at the bible or how to interpret it, so don’t feel like I’m trying to step on your toes and hopefully I didn’t offend anyone.

Thanks again…

Flossheal, that doesn’t make much sense.. and doesn’t make you a good Christian either. You can’t change the words of “God” and persume your own right? So you’re just addmitting the Bible is false. It says, God created man from dirt, and put every living thing on this planet. that completly contradicts evolution. It also says God created the Earth in 6 days. That is impossible, and an ignorant belief. It contradicts what we know about astronomy and physics today. Clearly the bible was written by Human, a God wouldn’t make so much ignorant assumptions and mistakes. The problem I had here was with glynescampbellgreeneyes. And uncledoody respectfully made me realize I should be more respectful of people who want to become Christian for whatever reason, that might not have to do with their knowledge of science.

uncledoody: you’re right, and I’m sorry I offended you, you know you’re the first person I’ve come across that didn’t FLAME or offend or try to change views, or express your religion. but you know what I still don’t understand why people believe in the bible when it’s proven to be wrong, and most likley made up. if they are not willing to trust scientists, who try to find ways to save their lives, ect. that’s fine but please don’t preach [your] nonsense, unless you’re asked makes you look ignorant.

where do I sign up for the uncledoody fanclub. quite a smart young man. my husband is a musician, raised christian and I am a biochemist, raised jewish.never a conflict, well as least regarding science and religion. lol. his family are extreme evangelical christians but his father is a physicist. never a conflict there either.

Ah now steady on now whats wrong with being Christian? People shouldn’t be too pushy with there views. Why can’t we just accept what people want to believe in without making them feel stupid?

my my glynescampbellgreeneyes. I can appreciate anyone’s opinion but you certainly come across a little strong. if I didn’t believe and was looking for the word and read one of your posts, I think that it would completely turn me off. I don’t think that anyone is arguing with you here. just asking and answering questions.

I once asked about this to my priest and he said if you love the girl then that is all that matters. God can see you love her and just because you havent married does not mean you will. I sugest you ask a priest for guidence.

Obviously, you’re looking for some ‘meaning’ in your life, and you think you’ve found it with the Bible. That euphoric feeling won’t last. Don’t make any life altering decisions just because the Bible says you should. The Bible is just an old book, written by humans, like any other.

Regard the Bible as a metaphor and not a word by word rule. So do not make sex without any inner personal attraction with anybody, but if you make your present g/f happy with your love and sex that is 100% Okay. God likes smiling and happy lovers much better than apathetic married couples.

if you repented and got baptized, then your good.it really depends on if you really want to and how bad.I’m 17 and already had sex but I repented, got baptized and recieved the holy ghost.its hard but if your determined, you can do it just dont have sex anymore

glynescampbellgreeneyes, Genesis 3:15 is not a prophecy about Jesus, rather, Galations simply makes a reference back to it. Would you expect the writers of the NT to ignore what was written in the OT? That seems odd. Most of the so-called prophecies in the NT fall into this same category, whereby bits and pieces of the OT were taken out of context and claimed to be prophetic after the fact. It’s the same thing people do today with the ‘prophecies’ of Nostradamus, or Muhammed.

my boyfriend a christian and he had the same problem with me, cus hes christian he didnt think that he cud have sex befor marridge but in the end he looked into a bit and relised that the bible is more like guildlines , god likes to see people who are in love and sex is an act of love, its seen as wrong when your having sex with some one that you are not in love with or one night stands! but if its bothering you that much talk to your girlfriend about it or talk to someone at your local church im sure there be able to tell you what to do :) xxx

if you are considering christianity you do not need to worry about your past sin unless you are currently still having sex. it’s something that you need to give up until you are married. it might be easier to fun mail me… that way I can answer your questions that you have. but once you have made a profession of faith you are forgiven for the sins you have done and whatever sins you commit while being saved. not saying that you should go out and do whatever you want because everything you do will be judged when you die. anyway, fun mail me because it can be confusing and I want to make as much sense as possible without confusing you even more!

apparently there is a ceremony you can go through to become a born again virgin and wipe the slate clean and are able to vow abstinence…thats what I’ve heard.

wow…you people are very angry people. Its sad. I would definitely suggest that someone looking for guidance or help in life, to NOT come here. Way too much drama. Look elsewhere hun…and RUN. =)

* you can become a born again virgin

…heh, but you can’t be born a virgin again. ;)

How do you know Genises wasn’t writen at the same time as the New testament? because it says so? I can write a book now and say it was writin 1000 years ago would you believe that. Look im a Catholic and a pretty devot one too I might add but, Im not ignorant either. Those words were Wrote by man plain and simple.
When Catholism was first adopted by the Romans they got together and put the Bible together. These scriptures were wrote by man. Our holy dates say 25th of December for instance is meant to be the birhtday of Jesus right? Well its a little known fact that jesus was born sometime in march and he’s birthday was changed to the 25th of December to co-incide with a Pagan haliday. Its a lot easier to convert someone if the feast days are the same don’t you think.

Anyway I’ve waffled on for long enough lol

Thanks for giving us the update. I’ll keep praying for you and your girlfriend!

ah shuks you guys im only trying to help (getting ambaresed here lol)

I agree you need to talk to someone in leadership at your church about this, and also to your girlfriend. On Fun Advice we can give you some degree of help, but the real advice is going to come from people who know you and your situation better than we do. For example, how does your girlfriend feel about your spiritual discoveries? If she’s interested and wants to know more, then you can work this out together, not on your own.

Nebula, I’m scared to answer in case you think I’m flaming or offending, but I agree with you that we need to bear in mind ‘unless you’re asked’… On this one, the questioner wants to be a Christian so I would say that Christians have been asked to reply using their understanding of their faith. So have others - it’s open to anyone. But other religion questions seems much more general, and not Christian-specific, and there I try to be careful to be less Bible-quoting in my answers.

PS - is there an uncledoody fanclub?

PPS - I can prove I’m willing to trust scientists - I’m married to one.

katydid is very right. listen to her

why would you want to contribute to ingnorance?If religion isn’t good for moral or spiritual values, then what’s it good for. Wishful thinking, of an afterlife. All we are is our minds and all we are is controlled by our brain(nucleus) You obviously have no knowledge of the natruel world if you want to convert out of all religions CHRISTIAN. If you do, please note that the Bible is not factual.

The bible was writen by man, it does not vaguly predict the future. I could write a book saying there were going to be houvering cars and stuff like that, would I be considered to tell the future, when SOME or a couple or of those things randomly out of coincidence were assumed to come true? out of mysteriously written “predictions” that are only assumed to be true or even close to what “happened”.

People who made up the bible - that’s isn’t true, could have just set it up that way, for the story that doesn’t even make sense or isn’t even possible, and scientifically inaccurate.