My friend's funeral and my boyfriends birthday are on the same day

Please help me to do the right thing.

My friend, Nick Lewis died recently [07.15.08] due to a motorcycle accident and I had never actually seen him in person but we usually always message each other on myspace, chat on aim, and text on the phone, etc. and he is a really good supportive friend and a great person.

My boyfriend takes birthday VERY SERIOUSLY especially this one because it's his 18th birthday AND he's going to turn himself in pretty soon after his birthday which makes the celebration even more important.

I don't want to p*ss my boyfriend off but I really would like to show some respect to Nick.

I did think about going to both...but I think the funeral will take a while and I really don't want to leave in the middle of someone making a speech or something, that's just super rude.

What would you do?

Wow We Have The Same Problem

He will understand go to your friends funeral and its ok to leave just go for a while and show some respect to him

Do to the funeral, then to the party. Your b/f should understand your problem, as all of us, he is also a mortal.

yep, you can go to both
if youve got the day to spare
first go to the funeral, as hat one sounds more important
you should be able to stay there untill its over or almost over
then go to your boyfreinds party and celebrate with him
if hes having a party later on in the day it will be easier
if he isnt, you could try doing things the other way around
but yeah...just tell him you need to go to your friends funeral,
but youll also come to his party...he should understand

he's not having a party. he's going to be left alone the whole day if I'm not with him because before the accident with Nick happened, I did give my boyfriend my words telling him I'm going to spend the whole day with him on his birthday

If your boyfriend is truly a friend he will understand..make it up on a different day...death never comes as friend and is always inconvenient.