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I've been having a hard time in my relationship with my boyfriend. we've been dating for a bout a year and a half now and it just seems as more time goes on the more insanly insecure I get. I have it stuck in my head that he can't be trusted and I think he will cheat on me if put in that situation. But I have absouletly no reason or proof to back up why I think this. I know he loves me and I love him but I know im slowing killing what we have and I have no idea how to stop these feelings. I need help.
Hi there! Speaking from personal experience - you must trust him unless you have proof of him cheating or lying. You seem adamant and confident that he loves you. You don't question that at all.
This is ultimately a question about what is within yourself. I experienced the same situation with my boyfriend. Yes, we are still together. We barely saved it though. I walked out on him confidently...without regret of losing him...because I knew in my heart that I did nothing to deceive.
I left him alone...with the regret and knowledge of his mistakes.
His ex-girlfriend cheated on him. So...the moment I wasn't around to answer my phone, or I'd go out with my friends, or I'd visit my family alone - I was in question.
This became insanely irritating. I became nervous to even make a move - or even breathe.
I eventually broke it off with him as I was sick of being questioned and sick of the allegations. Sure, he's about twenty years older...and is more jaded from failed relationships...but that's a BS excuse when it comes to love.
Truthfully - YES - he will eventually leave you if you do not learn to trust him 100%. Put your guard down - as this insecurity issue is a fear of being hurt and of being rejected.
With every relationship you walk into, you must approach with open eyes, a clear heart, and be resentment free.
It is DEFINITELY normal to be a LITTLE bit insecure and we all need the reassurance of our man's love. However, when it begins to affect your relationship...you will ultimately be the cause of its deterioration. THIS IS NOT NORMAL.
If you know that he loves you - stop questioning him or you will lose him.
Give yourself to him completely and look within yourself to determine what the root is of your insecurities -share it with him - and then let that realization go forever.
You will find that your insecurities have absolutely nothing to do with him.
Enjoy what you have and use the time you have with him to build your relationship and share special moments with one another. You can then walk away without regrets or I "should haves".
Nothing is worse then feeling as though you were mostly responsible for the demise of the relationship. I've never felt that way, and I refuse to put myself in the situation to experience it.
I've been hurt too many times...but you can't carry baggage into every relationship.
Allow yourself to enjoy him for eternity - the way most couples fail to enjoy each other - with trust, respect, sincerity, and communication. Hope this helps!
no honey your not trust me your feelings are normal i think after the one year every girl has their doubts. the best thing is to talk to him about it. if he feels that way and it makes him upset then that is a good sign. bc if he didn't care about you feeling that way then thats a sign that he would. but you are very beautiful and you shouldn't feel that way because you 2 have been together this long and i'm sure he loves you. your definatly not a lost cause. just don't worry about it until he gives you a reason to. you have built up that trust barrier if you trust eachother then just have fun with your relationship and don't worry about the small doubts you have in the back of your mind. because until he gives you a reason to worry then just enjoy your relationship. if he knows that you are worrying about stuff like that then he will get upset because he will feel like he isn't being treated fair or that you don't trust him. I had the same doubts with my boyfriend.
Well thank you very much!!! I've been to two different therapists...and have had many insecure friends and my own bad relationships in the past. All of the above is a mixture of my and my therapists' perspectives. Good luck to you!!! I have a good feeling about your relationship. It will last if you want it to and make the appropriate changes that will be worthwhile for you and for him. I want to be an advice counselor on here...but I'm not really sure what channels to go through though!! Have a great day guys!
hey!! i have been in my relationship now for 2 years and i know exactly how you feel. the one thing you have to do is trust him. has he ever cheated on you??? if he has you should be feeling this way. but if you have no reason you should just live in your relationship and have fun with it. i used to worry about my boyfriend all the time but now i have learned to relax and just have fun. but if i was you i would talk to him about it. idk i'm here for you if you need someone to talk to i hope i made since
thanks, and no he never has cheated on me...at least that i know of. wow see im doing it again. but i have talked to him and he says it makes him upset that i think that, but i think its just that he is really good looking and im nervous that im not good enough for him, and that if a girl were to approach him idk that hed say 'i have a gf..." and id never know. ya maybe im just a lost cause...
UPDATE: well everything kinda came out in the open, and we almost broke up. big fight. not good. but we talked and he wants to stay with me, i just have to keep my concerns to myself without tangible proof. so everything will hopefully pan out the way we plan. thanks for all your advice!
Thank you for your compliments!! I will e-mail the "DUDE" and see if I can get a promotion. I genuinely enjoy helping people and giving the best advice possible. I spend a lot of time on here anyway. Have a great day!
try to contact them! im sure youd have lots of good references from everyone on this site! not to mention that pic of you is beautiful! you should model or something. gorgeous.
to IWANNABE LAELAALI your amazing haha your advice is great
i agree, go into conseling ppl! ur great.
