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I lost my son

20 weeeekss Asked by sweet_n_short2 about 1 month ago, 14 answers.
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so im sure everyone knows that I was pregnant with a lil girl and a lil boy. last night I went to the doctors and they said my son wasnt getting enought food and blood that he didnt make it he passed away in my woomb and im really stressed out now. like will this effect my daugther as she grows up or will she not even know? ill have to give birth to a dead baby when I give birth to just my daughter.

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35 weeks: ) Answered by jessykalovesjeff4e on Apr 11, 2008, 08:39AM
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Awhhh.
im so sorry.
really thats sad.
and im not sure if it will.
: (.

Thunder Robot Answered by funadvice on Apr 11, 2008, 08:41AM
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im sorry to hear that
and no I dont think it will effect her.

Peace Answered by heathermerie on Apr 11, 2008, 09:10AM
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Im sorry wow thats really depressing I dont think it would effect her it shouldnt just keep visiting to make sure shes healthy

Answered by angeleyez26 on Apr 11, 2008, 10:25AM
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I dont know what to tell you xcept im sorry and no I dont think it will affect the girl I've done a lot of research and I know a lot about developing babies in the stomache im sooo sorry and hope your alright

cute ain't it Answered by gaabyholand on Apr 11, 2008, 11:19AM
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sorry about that I'm about to have a lil baby to in july so I wish you the best of luck

hjfbie Answered by iminlove2 on Apr 11, 2008, 11:22AM
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she probably wont know my mom was pregnant with triplets and two of them didnt make if and my sis doesnt act like it affects her
im so sorry to hear that take care of yourself k

Thunder Robot Answered by funadvice on Apr 11, 2008, 12:45PM
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that sucks

Sue90 Answered by sue90 on Apr 11, 2008, 12:49PM
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Dear sweet_n_short2,
Am very sorry to hear this but you need to change your thinking around this...you stated (when I give birth to just my daughter) Its not just...she will alway carry a part of him with her. You will love her twice as much, you will treat her twice as nice and she in turn will love you and twice as much in return. It's very sad to think of what could have been but you must look at what is. When she is older let her know she spent time with her brother and during that time they shared his lifetime together. Allow her to feel how lucky she was to do this. Rejoice him in her and look at her as the miracle she truly is.
Sue...good luck

Answered by cassika on Apr 11, 2008, 10:16PM
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First I want to tell you I am terribly sorry. Even though sorry doesn't make the pain go away. Second I believe apart of him will always be carried with her. Whether she ever realized she had a brother or not. I myself am a twin and I do have twinless twin syndrome. I know their are organizations and websites that would be willing to help you and your daughter when she is older. They will always have a bond.
There is this great great book out there that someone gave me when my son died and it is call The SIDS & Infant Death Survival guide. It has a lot of stories from other parents that lost their babies from many different causes.

This might be comforting but my sister was suppose to have guads but lost three of the babies.
One day when Zachary (the only surviving baby) was three, he was playing and laughing in the other room. And just talking up a storm. So we went in to check on him and I asked him who he was talking to and he replied 'my friends and they look just like me'. My sister said 'oh really just like you huh.' And he stood up and said 'yeah' and then pointed to his little art table and then to three of the little chairs. And I suddenly got this overwhelming feeling and I looked at my sister and I could see the tears well in her eyes. And then Zachary put his hands on his hips and said 'Its okay mommy they never left. '
Then he ran over to my sister and hugged her leg and said 'we love you'

That day changed me forever.

Zachary was never told he had three other brothers.
But they stayed with him.
Later when he learned his alphabet he would associate the letter A, B and D with is brothers. And it only took us a day to figure out that that was their birth order. Zachary actually told his father that thats what their names are.

Don't be surprised if later she has an imaginary friend. . . it might not be imaginary after all.

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aawwww look at the colors!! :)xxx Answered by kyleelover22108 on Apr 12, 2008, 08:32AM
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Im so sorry to hear that ... I im 14 and just found out im pregnant im only about 3 weeks but I dont think it will effect her!!! but are you going to tell her she had a brother or just not say anything... I don't know but she might think its her fault he died I kinda had the same thing happen to me and I blame myself... do tell just when shes old enough to understand all things happen for a reason and its not her fault...
good luck with the baby I hope shes healthy.. and tell me if it hurts to give birth
so I can ask for medication...

A Day Lily Answered by aquamarine1316 on Apr 12, 2008, 07:15PM
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OMG! That's pretty sad. I'm so sorry for you. I hope you are alright. I don't really think it will effect the girl. I hope the girl is healthy and I'm praying she will be. Again, I'm so sorry. Comment me or fun mail me, so I can see how it go.

best friends Answered by lifeseeker42 on Apr 13, 2008, 01:54PM
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I agree with sue 90. I am sorry you are dealing with this. I havent had any babies yet but I have 23 nieces and nephews and my sister lost her baby boy when he was 8 months...full term... she gave birth to a baby without a spirit in which she carried for 8 months it was very hard. this was her first babie. she was able to take a model cast of his hands and feet to remember him by. she quickly got pregnant after that and now has a healthy baby girl. things were tough but just as sue90 said, you have to be tough and strong and be thankful for what you do have. And what a lucky baby inside you is to look forward to her life upcoming! How blessed she was being able to share that time with her sibling. be happy for that and the time shared. other wise you could bask in the sorrow of neverending saddness. so choose to be thankful instead. Also you know...like brings all sorts of suprises. my brother and his wife have 7 kids. the last 2 were twins. all of their ultra sounds went great and we were so excited to have twins in our family. When they were born, without knowing previously, they came out and my sister in-law, she is a nurse herself, she looked at her newborn twins and could see they had features of a baby with Downs syndrome. she insisted they had it and the doctors kept trying to reasure her that they didn't but they did. it was very hard at first but now, our family couln't imagine our lives without them. they are the peacemakes of our family and the ones who demand we all get together often. so although we only go for the worst case situation at first when life spills turmoils over us, we have to be fighters and choose our attitudes. remain thankful for every tiny thing we have and love. that will bring happiness even if you had nothing at all. I pray for your ability to heal and for the baby inside your womb. you will grow and your baby will be a great experiance for your life! I pray for a safe and healthy delivery and keep up to date with your doctor appointments because you will want to keep a close eye on your little one now that you are considerd higher risk. please keep me updated so I don't worry over you and your beautiful little spirit with in you. sincerly, Gina

I'm emo Answered by childofthenight005 on Apr 13, 2008, 11:28PM
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it might affect your daughter ...trust me...I lost my brother when I was 3 now im 13 going to 14 but I sometimes wish I had a brother or sis to talk to I feel lonly being the only child...I still remember his funeral he was 6...I still cry about it b/c it hurts to have never really talk to him and see him alive just dead I try many times to forget but a deep pain keeps on hurting me deeply in my heart...it would be better if she didn't know but then again she has the right to know she had a bother ...just be there when she feels lonly and sad about it...b/c it hurts! but then again im a really emotional person. and im really sorry about the baby...I really am...

Answered by ashleynicole105 on Apr 18, 2008, 05:07PM
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I am incredibly sorry for your loss, It is something very hard to deal with, the loss of an unnborn child. But it really wasn't your fault, and think about it. Would you rather have your child suffering in your woom, or up in heaven with God. Don't worry he will take care of your baby... And about your daughter, I would wait until she's old enough to handle and understand what is going on with the unborn children and malnutrition, and things like that, I would wait for a little while. But you will get through this...
I hope I helped (:
<3

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